A Fobby Love Story

Oh this will be so much fun.
Syed Muzammil: I am with you.

Li`lilah al-hamd b`anjaam-e dil-e dil z`dgaaN
Klimaa-i shukr b`naame lUb-e shireeN d`hnaaN

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But for those whose hiccups have not ceased ever since their Daddy-Longlegs left them in the lurch & sailed back `ome:

I say:
``Release the hounds!``

syed muzammil,
A nice article which does not have a strong agenda.
But the author`s bias is fairly evident throughout the article, like ``not with a gori, but to my good fortune, a beautiful Pakistani muslim born here, in common term ABCD``, as well as ``I can`t understand why Pakistani parents here are so oblivious about teaching their children their own language`` and ``I`m not a five times nimazi but to meet a muslim girl who doesn`t know a word of nimaz was the shock of my life.``

muzammil:

welcome! nice easy going narration

to conquer or not to conquer

or

to be conquered or not to be conquered

that is the dilemma

``Love`` as a make-belief in the subcontinent is appropriated from Bollywood metaphors and the Hindu traditions of that land. In NA, the context is hollywood romantic comedies and 80s/90s tv sit-coms, blah. (for like right now).

You are like trying to compile a program across different platforms when the assumption that it is platform-independent is made all by you. A love program for Ind/pak cannot be port/translated to a north-american context/operating system. (if you know what i mean)

It really happens in any culture. That`s what we call ``cross-cultural relationship``. Anyway, relating to different cultures is always fascinating, however hard it may be. I enjoyed reading your article most because it is ``life``, it happens everyday in any world`s corner. Even when you relate to people from your own background, there are so many misunderstandigs!! One thing is what you mean, and other thing is what people understand! It makes me conclude that communication is something very complex! And what is worse, we can`t live without it!

ABCDs are engaged in a journey which has a assumed positive and a negative direction. this is implicit and is decided by their society which is working as a latent dictator to them. what you want from them is negative direction for them in their subconcious dictionary. it`s not them but their momentum towards the `forward` direction, stemming from no where but the very survival instict. leave them alone in their journey towards perfection.

what you really need is a pakistani girl who is at least a couple of dezon yards behind you, in her journey towards the `positive` direction. girls are a lot more prone to the external environment as compared to boys.

so send your mom to pakistan so that she can bring some photos for you to choose. know your strong points.

hey muzammil, nice article and written in a very easy going manner i.e natural, a different yet thoughtprovoking piece.

P.S: welcome to chowk :)

Author,

Are you suggesting that only ABCD`s are dissatisfied with their partners? Apparently you havent talked with many middle aged married Pakistani women....may I suggest you do so.

hi syed,

welcome aboard... was a nice read. the observation is cent percent right. i reckon abcd`s are more americanized than americans themselves...

the conclusion of the article is freshi/fobbies/wogs or whatever - should go for a relationship with either the person back home a.k.a pure desi or a gora/gori.

my question is what about the abcd`s... whom they should go for... based on the above logic gora/gori or another abcd? well its a time tested conclusion that abcd - abcd relationships dont work out well. so the available option is gora/gori.

having said that, wud u like ur next generation which will be abcd (cross of freshi/fobby/wog and (pure desi or gora/gori) ) to go in a relationship with gora/gori. isnt it a dilemma?

something somewhere is getting wrong in the whole equation. hey chowkies... any suggestions/comments...

on_the_edge #9,
We can never understand the dillema in an abcd`s life, so we shouldn`t be judging them. We are nobody to tell them who they should marry. Let us leave that to them.

on the edge,

Yes. Pakistanis should just marry their first cousins, and barring that availability, their siblings. Then we should hermetically seal Pakistan in a huge soapbubble like the ``good old days``.

The ABCD kids I have known have been wonderful. Most of them are well-mannered and capable individuals. Most are also doing extremely well in their schools/fields.

They are NOT Indians. They make their own choices. All their spouses/boy-girl friends are either Americans or other ABCDs.

bas itni si hai meri mohabbat ki dastaan
aik shakhs tha jo dard-e-judai de gyaa.