Punch Drunk Love

BBC NEWS
Last Updated: Friday, 22 April, 2005, 13:29 GMT 14:29 UK
Karachi teacher`s family murdered
Police in the southern Pakistani city of Karachi have detained a school teacher after finding his wife and four sons dead with their throats slit.
Officers recovered a blood-stained kitchen knife from Nadeem Mansur when they were called to his home on Friday.
A caller had rung to tell police ``something terrible had happened``.
Inspector Amjad Rafi Channa, who arrested Mr Mansur, said he had appeared highly agitated, and could have been in shock.
``The real state of his mental health can only be determined by the doctors,`` Inspector Channa told BBC News.

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We don`t want this to happen to this family do we??.Men in pakistan are more suppressed than us indian men.They need help, it seems

The man needs some love.Methinks he feels constricted by his wife and kids, on top of living in a constrained society.His wife needs to understand and give him more space.Very often we hear only one side of a story.There are always two sides to every coin.It takes two hands to clap.His binge drinking is a way of communicating to those that mean something to him, THAT his life sucks.His family needs to understand.South asian women do not realize how clingy and possessive they can be, bombarding a man with all sorts of responsibiities and holding him ever hostage to society.I`m sure south asian women have their own set of issues too.That`s why i say it`s never one side alone that is responsible.We all need to care for one another.The man needs a break, his wife should give it to him, or she should take a break and go somewhere for a while.Or, they should see a counselor.For the sake of the kids.

Come on Zahra! It was not an argument. It was a statement! That was not kind of you. Totally unnecessary and insensitive! You should be contrite. I hope you take it back.
Pakistani Middleclass (assuming that she is from Pakistan) families have a thing against even social drinking.
It is the middleclass morality that prohibits drinking or leads to prohibition. The upper and the lower classes live with that without any moral trepidation. (Now it is an argument and I stand by it!)
Try and visit some lower income areas in Pakistani cities and you will be surprised as to how many people are dealing with different kind of addictions and alcohol dependencies.
It is a social issue but for the middleclass it is more of a moral issue. In Pakistan religion has added another dimension to it.

Saman,

I think your friend and her husband needs to see a counsellor. I am not sure if that facility is available in SA, but she needs to seriously look into that.

HP: How is drinking reflective of one`s economic class? What an ignorant and foolish argument! There are 100s of side effects of drinking. Being a social drinker is a completely different matter from being a dead drunk.

To Saman’s friend!

I think you are over reacting. Most girls from middleclass families are not exposed to people who drink. From what I gather from this article, he is not abusive after drinking and it does seem like he is an occasional drinker. Give him some space. Encourage him to drink at home. People who drink occasionally tend to drink too much and lose handle. Your husband seems like a nice guy, be nice to him and let him drink at home and don’t make him feel guilty about it. You will be surprised how things turn out. I know there is nothing in Saudi Arabia to do in terms of entertainment but I recommend you find some recreation with some more folks. Arrange for card parties over the weekend. Invite people over for playing indoor games like Carom or even some karaoke. Keep him busy over the weekend and let him drink a couple of shots before he goes to bed in your bedroom. You talk to him while he is drinking and have a little fun with him.
It would be hard for you to overcome your own dislike of drinking but just remember people do look silly after drinking and a little sense of humor would go a long way for both of you to get over this hump.
Sometimes to keep the marriage going, someone has to sacrifice a little. He did and you acknowledge it. Now it is your turn to help him. Don’t run away from him.



//End of Ann Lander mode!

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