Two Poems: Attention Please and Say What?

``Her photo is going to be taken
like everyone else but she could tell
that everyone now
was paying full attention
as the sheets are drawn to form a
cubicle around the photo stand
and she sits there to reveal her
face, finally``

The highlighted word is missing in the poem, thought you should know.

Really interesting!

I loved the reconceptualization of the burqa as a ninja outfit as well as the other ironies. Smart narrative voice.

Re: # 1

Corrected in the original.

Correction in the footnote:

Hypatia (Egypt, 370-415 A.D.) not B.C.

Very interesting poem....the realisation that a garment meant to ward of all possible ``attraction`` ends in its very nature attracting all of it in most global societies...shows the conundrum facing its backers.

fakhra:

first you churn out the irony in the prose poem....then....you go for the jugular...

``Man is perfect``, undoubtedly, sir.
The phrase looks good in the museum
where people go
to see
to learn from the language of history
and history
speaks for itself.

...you are a devi(l) ms. hassan;)

lve

t

Re: # 4

Please use editors@chowk.com to send corrections after an article is posted.

Re: # 2

Saminasha, it is indeed ironic to know some people just don`t understand the essence of the veil

Thank you very much :)

Re: # 6

Hain?

Fakhra
It has been long that i have been on chowk, and i just see your poems. I have to spend some time to understand your poems. I am very impressed of your artistic talent. It has been some time that i have spend time reading good poetry.

Muddat hui mar gia ghalib par aab bhi yaad aata hai
Wo har ek baat par kehna, yuun hota tu kia hota

Regards.

Some ``Notes``:

[…and the bliss he must be going through
for being the only stranger to see you
through the eyes of his camera]

Maybe
It occurred to you
Or maybe
It did not
That
The man was
Doing a job?
Just
Doing a job!
O the “bliss” of it!

[she is not supposed
to be
looked upon by strangers
but it seems she had no choice
but to give in. She`s exposed,
now he knows, what she looks
like. And in my fury, I utter: ]

Exposed
Yes, exposed
All of her
Two eyes
One nose
A mouth
Maybe
A soul
Even
A soul
Wait
But wait
We shall never know
For the veil
THAT veil
Was never lifted
Except
Maybe it was
Through this poem!

[Can you veil yourself without the veil?
Reveal without being revealed?`]

Or drive?
Without
A license!

Notes on “Say What”:

This one
Went over
(Way, way, over)
The nest
MY nest
Help
Please help
Gill
DR. Gill
Where
O where
Is the man
When
One needs him?
REALLY
Needs him!


(Fakhra: Please don’t form the wrong impression! I enjoyed both the poems! :)

Re: # 8

Miss Fakhra, a.k.a. noetherf,

Would you kindly enlighten us with the essence of the veil ?

I would really like to see what my mother, sisters, wife, and teenage daughter may be doing wrong.

Thanks

Re: # 13 and #11

Shah sahib and BeeJay, this poem was meant to highlight the extremism in the use of the veil. What you see here are ironies, ironies telling you: no matter what or how you try to cover yourself, people will see you. It`s inevitable.

Mind you, I have nothing against the veil, the words that you see are of fury over the ironies. What I`m trying to say is that we ought to adopt a more moderate approach towards it.

As quoted in Surah Nisa, verse 31:

Translation:

``And say to the believing women
That they should lower
Their gaze and guard
Their modesty; that they
Should not display their
Beauty and ornaments except
What (ordinarily) appear...

And that they
Should not strike their feet
In order to draw attention
To their hidden ornaments.``

Please, do correct me if I am wrong.

Re: # 12

:)

The opning seemed promising but rest of it just gets lost. Where? Im still looking. More later. Cheers.