Dusk

#147 and the rest of the Chowk crowd:

For what it’s worth, when I posted #141 (which indeed was a rhetorical question), I had just returned from a short (1-2 day) absence and was not in on the full picture which became clear only after reading through the whole set of intermediate interacts more leisurely. (Out of kindness to the losing party (if there is such a thing in the virtual world)) I would have held #141 back, had I realized at that point that the the “knock-out” punch had already been delivered and the game ended. It was not my intent to ``rub it in``. That`s all.

hamidm, rahul your initial hunch was right it is salim chauhan pulling a hilarious fast one.

rahulmal #144 Whatever you say, Sri MahareshchavalanapatnamavalaJEE!! ;-)

miriam #140:

:)

(sigh)

didn`t mom tell you not to swear;)

lve

t

Miriamk, various posts!

In honesty, I have to say that I am highly impressed by your grasp and command (for a woman?) of this subject matter (which goes way over MY head) and in particular, with your confident style! It is impressive and (without meaning to offend anybody else) I can even say that there are few like you around here! Only the name appears to be a little old-fashioned and (if I may say so) not very spunky!

I will request Inspector Clue-so (sorry, I have a preference for the “American” version of the name rather than the one Ozer seems to like) to get working on some of the issues you raise!

Dear Ozer:

I have had limited internet access (except for a short time) so did not get a chance to follow up. Here is one simple question for you.

1) On THIS board, did you (or didn’t you) sign on as “husnaangelique”, “kulsumbeig”, “moazammudasar”, or “sarahhashwani”? (Yes or No answer, please. (“You” as in User-ID/password combination- please no mumbo-jumbo regarding what defines “you”. (I hated Bill Clinton for that.)))

Thanks for providing the yes/no answer honestly!

Beej.

Re: # 141 The answer (yes) is there in your query. How many interactors do you find on Chowk...who really bother to log-in with their complete name, the first and the sur-?? All of `these` do! ahhhh...the faintest of blot, on the otherwise glittering white-collar.

Ozer:
#131

Females certainly have a honed “killer” instinct to protect their young. This is perhaps most evident in the animal kingdom. But women engaging in gratuitous violence to satisfy an innate “feline fighter instinct”? I’m not sure I buy that.

As for the movies you refer to. Well, you so aptly referred to the “titillation factor” and I can’t imagine any man paying $10 to see a movie replete with women cat-fighting without it. We’re all grown ups here, let’s call it what it is. There’s a male sexual fantasy being sold. Only now it’s being experienced in the theatre sitting next to the girlfriend or wife for under $10. Male sexual fantasy satisfied on the cheap. And I have no problem with that but please let’s call it what it is. So, breakthrough roles for female actors or “old wine in new bottles”? I really don’t know. :)

As for your idea of marriage-plotting auntiejees with increased upper body strength?
Let’s think about this for a minute. A roguish auntiejee has me in headlock (rendered
even more inescapable due to augmented bicep girth) and marries me off to her friend’s second cousin’s nephew. Eew! Yuck! and Eeew! Let’s put that idea on the back burner shall we. Besides, I’ve tried to reform these aunties through charm, wit, and wile if only to get them off my back. They’re intractable, armed and dangerous. In fact I think they may have unionized.

Temporal:
#133

The love song of alfred j prufrock not a song?!! B-b-but I could’ve sworn I saw it listed on Britney’s last errmm….”magnum opus” ;).

ntsyed, In #136, you are trying very hard to creat a fungus among us. What is this mischief that I asked you to call the revered sage of Chowk a goat? Then to pick on my vegeterian culinary discipline, you are questioning my nic of dalchawal. All this leads me to believe that the ``u`` is missing in your first two initials. :)

Tahmed32, Like you, I am a Chowk friend of the extinguished Mr. Salim Chauhan. I sent him an e-mail and he has a ``Vacation`` message indicating a long absence. I assume that he has gone to Turkey for his nuptial bliss. You, sir, are never mistaken.

dalchawal: You mention the distinguished Mr. Salim Chauhan. You know him?? I believe he has left for Turkey to get married. But then, I could be mistaken....

ozerkhalid #134 as they say in french, the more things change, the more they remain the same (``plus ca change, plus ca meme chose``, or something like that). So, what Heraclitus warned against 3,000 years ago (i.e. the need to protect a nation`s laws) is certainly something very relevant for Pakistan.

You mentioned the Indian chief justice. India does indeed provide a great example of how democracy, with all its problems, tends to evolve into something better over time. Some years ago, I had the privilege of listening to a gentleman named Seshan who was Chief Election Commissioner in India 15-20 years ago and was responsible for a major clean-up of the election process in India back in the early 1990`s I believe. This is a perfect example of how democracy evolves over time to strengthen law and order.

Anyway, not to stray from the topic, but then this is chowk.

Ozer,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your masterpiece. It is incredible that such divine oratory can result from the efforts of a mere mortal. I didn`t understand everything, but that is the nature of divinely inspired literature. I can`t help but notice similarities between you and Salim Chauhan. Are you the same? It doesn`t matter, good writers get that kind of response, either you love them or you hate them. I like you. Good on you.

Hamidm,
It`s time to flush you down the toilet and create a riot on Chowk. :)
I never thought that you would be that jealous.

Tahmed,
As usual, you are not one of the sheep.

miriam #130:

you mentioned the valve... the following is from the back pages of my i-log that explains the valve jobs...now shylockian valve jobs....you are giving me ideas;)

***

the world of t`s IMs part I

cute-chowkie: just read bina shah
temporal: achcha
cc: what`s up with this omar guy?
t: faulty valve
cc: faulty valve?
t: long story...he thinks love song of alfred j prufrock is a song
cc: (blinking eyebrows icon)
t: he feels slighted
cc: why`d he feel slighted?
t: how`d i know
cc: you do bring the worst out sometimes
t: (shrug)
cc: tell me about the valve
t: what can i say? it is a minor procedure...opd stuff...day surgery...in and out
cc: in and out (devilish grin icon)
t: no...no...don`t visit there... this valve procedure is a routine surgery ... remember the schiavo case in the news these days? the parents are going to appeal to the supreme court to open the valve and the husband is opposing it? this valve is similar...only its purpose is to let the gaseous build-up ease out...
cc: ah!...a fart valve?...what is wrong with the natural process?
t: some people need additional help for the extra build-up

the world of t`s IMs part II

nawab is subroto`s talking dog he inherited from his friend ahmed when he left for TO

nawab: paw paw
temporal: brb
n: u angry at me?
t: no i prefer subroto
n: u muslim!
t: whaddya mean
n: u animal obsessed muslims
t: (have no clue where this dog is going)
n: you are thinking u have no clue where this dog is going
t: achcha kaam ki baat karo
n: just feel like paw-pawing, u mind?
t: i work sometimes;)
n: u winking at a dog?
t: (kya mushkil hay! yahaan insaanouN say theek say baat nahiN hoti hay aur ab in kuttON say polite conversation karni paRti hay)
n: i know what u r thinking
t: is subroto there?
n: he is sleeping. you know what time it is here?
t: achcha how can i help you
n: aa ga`aye na apni asliyat per
t: (puzzled icon)
n: i liked the valve idea...you should copyright it
t: it is nothing new around here
n: oh?...am sure you can do somethig around it? like the yankee who was attempting to copyright basmati?
t: copyright what? gaseous emission
n: emission control ( these dense humans!)
t: emission control?
n: yeah, like add a gadget to the valve job, a knob or release mechanism that can be self regulatory, with a timer, or with a chain or appendage, that others, i mean family or friends who detect the symptoms can pull it to releive the pressure
t: you should be a scientist
n: just answer my suggestion
t: good point, wonder if we can add a cyber-chain to it so i can pull it from here
n: you do it all the time;)
t: (now dogs are winkjing at me)
n: i have to go
t: play with the hydrant?
n: you humans!.. what is wrong with the hydrant? at least i don`t do it on other humans
t: gtg -- i can only take so much wisdom from dogs. say hi to subroto when he walkes up

“ill-begotten bloodbath”, “Gladiator style sword-flinging”, sharpened knives, arm-wrestling, world war 3, bazookas, grenades, patriot-missiles, assassins, crow-eating.

Boys really….all this pent up aggression. Surely you can think of more enjoyable outlets
for it instead of gearing up to smite each other with 5-syllable words. What did Temporal call it…”a Shylockian valve-job”.

I once read somewhere that men start wars and women build consensus. Where for crying out loud are the women on this forum!

Re: # 130

Miriam K

What about the feline fighter instincts of women ?

Uma Thurman -v-Lucy Liu`s Crazy 88
Cameron Diaz -v- Evil Temptress collagen injected Demi Moore
Halle Berry`s Catwoman gymnastics

Miriam now just as beefy bankable females like Xena, GI Jane and Elektra are raising temperatures at global Cineplexes, actresses are no longer perky love interests and weepy crime victims, (Gwenyth Paltrow take note, especially whilst holding awards)

Movie studios finally realized that women can royally kick derrieres. Literally. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Charlie`s Angels, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon all vaulted, jabbed, and roundhouse-kicked their feline whiskers past the $100-million benchmark of a cinema blockbuster.

Angelina Jolie whirling her way as Lara Croft or the three witches in Charmed, candy to the eyes, kicking to the fore, are not too unpleasant a formula. Even Bollywood`s Phoolan Devi is a case in point.

Miriam Im sure just like these heroines you too are a knock-out. We guys, wanna see cat fights galore is it not T Ahmed Sul Temporal ? Visually electric knockouts.

Now we need our Desi women to crank up the soundtracks, storm into cardio-kickboxing classes at the gym, and hope that the even Sari-wearing Auntie ``jees`` can stop hatching marriage plots and start wielding a wicked uppercut.

Trot out female tigers upping the titillation factor with a healthy Chowk audience.

Avoid wardrobe malfunction

Kindly: No Barbie-doll spin-offs from the ``spoilt girls`` shelf.

Re: # 131 by ozerkhalid to miriamk

Dear Ozarkalid,

Your Hollywooded silly-coned lypo-ciphoned voyeuristic violent fantasies are truly...well, I`m not sure if one can call it impressive, but it`s some sort of ``sive``; especially with desi feline trapped in human babes....but where`s the other good ol` critical factor of the Holly, Bolly, & Lollywoody-woodpecker boob/ball buster hits - i.e. sex? Do you think a chick flick with kicks but no licks can bust the box office bimbo feats you list in your post?

Or are you implying that mere mention of desi women as ``tigresses`` provides your ilk an instantaneously climactic ecstasy with an uncontrollable gushing of the embarrassing kind? In that case, touche! Merely few A/BBCD retards will suffice to break Titanic records in revenues et al and prove Romairian claims (he knows which one I`m tawken `bout...hehehe) .... all at once ;-)~~

Please allow me to compliment your Renaissance-ish rendering of post-modern common knowledge that makes some chowkies wonder if you`re one of a jewellery set Shakespeare lost from his scrotum bag while skinny-dipping down Thames leaving him and his li`l ben dejected and lonely which probably conceived an impotent McBeth, tragic Hamlet, and herniated (remember the funny pants?) Romeo who couldn`t get as far as he wanted to with Juliette `cause she was probably more into her maids for vice and versa ;-)~~ (and hamid thought the my kind didn`t know diddly `bout such thangs....lol)

Just kidding mate...bu you need a bi` of lightenin` op, since moust hea dig the English language betta than ya expect from the desis.

No worries and chill out!


dalchawal bhai/behen...if I may humbly suggest, MakkhanDoubleRoti suits you better for a nickname.

FYI: you`re right that tahmed is not a bahh bahh sheep...he prefers to be called a mahh mahh goat...........

Sorry tahmed, honestly! It`s not my fault. dalchawal invited me to say it. But you`re still the best kinda goat....you know, kinda like the bloodhound in a recent WT cartoon. But if you`re angry, please express it in urdu...like ``hum naee kheltay..suchchi muchchi katti`` with a pinky flip

BTW, I just luuuuuuuuv your hop-sctoch bottom-patting with other sissies. It`s what keeps the chowk spinning and its real women jealously on toes with the newest trend of barrettes.

No offense ladies, these guys just say they`re feminists....just to borrow (and possibly steal) your ``accessories`` and cosmetics