Adultery Anonymous

Re: # 51
Why are you so upset about my response?Have you read my earlier interact also?(#19)

I dont know how you inferred that I am trying to categorize adultery as psychiatric condition. I wanted to convey that adultery is not a homogenous entity.Saying that``it can happen to any one`` is overgeneralization and very much layman like response with strong element of denial and avoidance. Yes,everybody can get into a situation which can lead to adultery but does everyone of them become adulterous?Some are able to exercise control,while others are not--will there be some differences in these two types of people or not?

Can you equate theft of a piece of bread by a hungry person living on street to income tax theft by a millionairre?

No need to get personal since we dont know each other and are talking about just a phenomenon and are free to express our views.

It is possible to love more than one person.Life is full of such possibilities.

Re: # 43

``naqshbandi: polygamy is legitimized adultery.``

Dear tahmed, by this definition monogamous marriage is also adultery at best and prostitution at worst. Which one would you use to describe the marriages of your parents, siblings, and your own?

Naqshbandi, bhai you`re asking for too much by throwing a post-graduate level topic at freshmen and hoping they would understand it as 2+2.

First let these guys and gals (with a few exceptions like Amit and and his ilk) figure out human physiology, sexology, psychology, anthrpology, sociology, criminology, economy, and all other basic stuff, as well as their effects on each other. Then perhaps they will be able to understand the graduate level topic of relationships and marriage before qualifying for complex post-graduate issue of polygamy and polyandry. Some of them are literally fixated on the genitalia to understand ``the birds and the bees``. For this lot life and religion are two separate entities, which causes conflicts in their thought processes. Thus, you see the endemic confusion in the essay as well the ensuing interacts except for a few of them.

hamidm, actually there are quite a lot of ``these women`` since they`ve burnt the bra... you`re just too busy taking cold showers and invoking the Almighty for divine sedative... just kidding my friend...you rarely offer half-volleys................... lol

Re: # 26
You don`t respond like a professional psychiatrist, though you may talk about the psychiatrist`s perspective - your response is more like that of the traditional S. Asian who knows a bit of the jargon. Adultery does cause a good deal of grief and unhappiness, breaks up homes, etc., etc., but it isn`t really a psychological aberration or a psychiatric condition as you try to make out!

Are you sure you`re really a psychiatrist?

Adultery isn`t something people get into just because of the problems/conditions you talk about. And it often causes as much anguish and pain to the perpetrators of adultery as to the victims of the adulterer. Surely Farzana`s point is that it could happen to anybody. Morality/religion/social conditioning apart.

....... once in a while i see a woman who makes me want to commit adultery ........ i simply recite dua-i-qunut and take a very cold shower ........... it is good that there arn`t too many of these women ..........

Re: # 27

Excuse me dear HP you are blatantly wrong when you say ``Animals have no concept of monogamous relations and they don’t raise kids together. Human are just an extension of animals. So the concept of monogamy is forced on human. If marriage is natural then adultery is also natural``.

It is wrong to make such a sweeping generalization about sexual relations. Some of the animals especialy the birds do have monogamous relations and they raise their kids together. Have you not kept the pigions and seen both father and mother feeding their kids? In fact the kids of the most of the animals do not need parental care as the human kids do. And many of the humans do have genuine monogamous fixatin which may sometimes be broken by sex. This is a very tricky question indeed especially for the humans who think and moralize with a religious tinge. Otherwise, sex is almighty life force which has its own laws.

Re43: Great comment..after having spent the most of my growing up years in Saudi..I have to say from a first hand view..that is perfectly spot on.

Re43: Great comment..after having spent the most of my growing up years in Saudi..I have to say from a first hand view..that is perfectly spot on.

Re: # 45

Sure, but the specific examples Farzana discusses here are of those who fall in love even though they are married to other people. She notes the more common examples above.

amrita #44: adultery does not mean that a man is in love with more than one woman. On the contrary, it indicates the man is in love only with himself.

This is because clearly the man seeks to maximize his personal sexual enjoyment without regard to the miseries and difficulties it creates for his wife and children. I have seen this happen with people.

Re: # 39
DM - Cool. Btw, my feelings are about the same except I think these are individual choices rather than cultural.

And [this is more general] I dont think Farzana advocated adultery or tried to determine the amount of virtue in it - the article seems to question the sufficiency of the institution of marriage as a buffer against falling in love with a third person.

naqshbandi: polygamy is legitimized adultery.

Mahesh,
Joseph Smith Jr., the founder of the mormons seems to have had a huge number of wives, all loyal to him. Not much of infightings in the Mormons record. So you are being too conservative in choosing the number to be 4. I suggest 50.

Vivek, no I haven`t.

I suggest to make any form of relationship legal among a limited group of men and women.

I suggest the group size be limited to 4. The group could consist of anywhere from 1 to 4 men or women.

Increasing the size would lead to petty jealousies and breakdown of society.

DMji,
I do not think of adultery as a virtue but it is not a crime. It happens everywhere so we have to learn to live with it.

amrita, vivek:

I believe that a loving single parent family is preferable to a dysfunctional two parent family. Yes, adultery happens but it is another matter whether one should consider it virtuous.