Adultery Anonymous

Farzana,

I understand if someone is unhappy in a marriage or has drifted apart and wants to get divorced. However, bringing a third party in a marriage and then using it as an excuse to leave the marriage is not right. It inflicts needless pain on your partner and wreaks havoc on kids. I dont think that is justified under any circumstances because it is a cruel and selfish act. Also, it is hard on the third party as well, who has to be the outsider villain/villainess wrecking someone`s family. If you do not like your marriage, leave it and then get into new relationships.

amit:1
amit you seem to be the tahmad equivalent on the hindian side.

Have you ever considered that the `` relationship`` could be the cause as well as the effect?
It could be the trigger as well as the quarry?

As I said you are really a very nice, clean and simple person--like our own boyscout tahmad (stuck-at)32.

As if even little matters are within human control & grasp--and then people still deny existence of a Higher Power.

P.S:They perhaps do it, now that they have `education`, simply to prove the theory of evolution.

Amit,
An extra-marital relationship often just happens, it is not planned. Also sometimes another relationship brings one to get perspective on the failure of his/her marraige. Things are not always black and white, and don`t look at everything from a right/wrong point of view.

``The other Woman is a floozy. The other Man is a slimeball.``

...Were you looking at the mirror when you came up with or copied this line?.The `other` could be your mirror image??.NO?.I think it`s quite apt.


sincerely,

cayenne

[...Were you looking at the mirror when you came up with or copied this line?.The `other` could be your mirror image??.NO?.I think it`s quite apt.] - cayenne.

... do you know her?...

Re: # 5


I stay up late to read your ``india trip`` i-logs.I don`t see one today!!.Will we be lucky tomorrow??.Reading this article and many on this site is like enduring the cabaret in Pondicherry last weekend, named ``Le Cabaret``.Thank God there was plenty of booze.That`s why i find your i-log so refreshing and unique.If this much of ``kissing-up`` doesn`t induce you to refresh your memory and write , i don`t know what will.

Adultery is only morally reprehensible, otherwise there is absolutely no justification for abhoring it.

Vivek and Echoboom,

Adultery is not an implusive act that happens by itself. You have to find a willing partner, seduce them and consummate it, without alerting your spouse. That is a premeditated act. If you get into a compromising situation by chance, you can always say no and just walk away. No one points a gun at your head and forces you to commit adultery.

Farzana Versay,

Muslims have Iman that marriage is contractual, with ensuing rights and obligations, which can be revoked, providing the tapestry of circumstances merit. Admissability of Talaq is often left to the arbitrary discretion of judges. Hindus extol marriage as a sanctity, never to be toyed around with. Do you reckon South Asian legal systems merit ammendment to accomodate more lax laws on divorce, as a pre-emption and prevention of looming adultery on the horizon ?

A few more points. The option of Talaq, legally permissible under Shariah is an avenue open to all, where a divorced wife is entitled to maintenance and child support. Divorce ofcourse is a legal avenue often wrought with other social stigmata in developing nations like Pakistan and India. So solace can be nurtured through the auspices of unique workable formulas between couples themselves, as per suggested in your opus. Could you extol certain examples ?

Adultery anonymous makes me distinctly reminiscent of the enthralling Khalil Gibran. Often adultery takes place because spouses don`t give each other the sanctity of ``breathing space``. I share with you a masterpiece by Khalil Gibran:


``You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other`s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other`s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other`s shadow. ``



Farzana a last question to you: do you feel that if enough ``ventilation`` was allowed between spouses, as Khalil Gibran titillatingly recommends, there would be less recourse to adultery? Another question: ``Can you name a few ideas of how ``ventillation`` and ``breathing`` space can be ploughed to yield a more promising harvest for the marriage crop ?

By no means an eternal crop.

Marriage is a pact based on trust. In a marriage, in that trust, spouses “own” each other sexually. Single-partner sex is not natural. No other species adheres to it and humans are not any different. Unlike other species, however, man (woman) has forced sexual fidelity on to himself and formed an institution called marriage. That forced fidelity has not killed the inborn urge and temptation and not many can resist it. Extramarital sex is not immoral but a betrayal of trust.

amit:8

Aur yaar yahaaN hUmeiN , ( switch to eng. maybe you don`t know hindi/urdu)

... I mean , Here their throats have dried out elevating Urstruly and myself to the mullah`s status.

I think in the presence of tahmed the 32nd Imam, and you the ad-hoc reincarnation of Vishnu, Urstruly and myself are the shatoogRRays ( little Satans)--raakhishes.


Bhayaa jaan: agar pehla love at first sight pUr hho saktaa hai, then it is possible to have fifth love at first sight as well. Some people have a very sharp eye for the new moons--especially mullahs.

Re: # 4

We can count on Cayenne to spew, after all someone is pushing it in from the other end; it has to come out somewhere. Try not to gag when they switch ends on you, after all it`s only your own scat, cat.

Re: # 11

...mullahs love moons and are famous for mooning...;) kyun chacha??

khamkhwa:13 urf Khwajaa kee divanee.
``aap kaa bjaana bilkul furmaa hai``

o sorry:
aap kaa frmaanaa bilkul bjaa hai

kahaaN tuk bjoa GAY , khaaN tUK bjaaooN

Re:echo

Yaar, I am all for romantic relationships, when you are single. That is a great experience and a lot of fun. I have dated and gone out prior to my marriage. I was never into casual sex, but I had long-term relationships. However, once you are married, I think your roving eye should be controlled. Unlike relationships, adultery is a purely destructive thing which causes tremendous pain and suffering.

amit,
Love happens sometimes even to the most controlled person, its immaterial if he/she is married or not.