Fauzia’s Rejection

Re: 123

Temporal jee,
In a patriarchal society such as our South Asian one, there are those with the power and those without. The Have`s in this case are Men and hold onto this power with all the might in their dear life. Since power is such a tightly controlled commodity, and the Patriarchy has laid out specific rules and regulations for women as to how they must acquire and weild power.

They must be virginal mothers, daughters, wives and sisters and only when they behave according to the dictums of the patriarchal behavioral expectations; they are given the leftovers from the Pie of Power.
A father and a husband lays out the rules as to how his wife and daughter may behave and demarcates the limits of their freedoms. The female members of the household in an extended family situation garner power from manipulations of the male members. The wife from her husband, the mother in law from her husband and son, the sister in law from her brother and father.

In this delicate balance of power struggles the Saas, the Buhu and the Nand are always looking for that thin slice of power. When one of them gets it fleetingly, the dominated now has some power and suddenly turns into the dominant one. She cant use her newfound power against the male members except manipulations and passive aggression but will be dominant towards the other females.

In the end, its not about male and female but about Having or not having power. It is a tightly controlled comodity and in a patriarchal culture like ours resides firmly in the hands of the Men.

Chowk is full of interesting perspectives and people. Some learned and experienced experts have been writing quite frequently on women`s thought process and what they want in life. Interestingly, none of those experts happened to be women themselves. In a way, this write-up by a woman is a decent breakthrough. This is not to say that women thinkers and writers on Chowk have not entertained this subject area before.

There are some scenarios in this write-up that make you think where the writer is coming from. But then reading her post # 125, it`s clear that she is providing some excerpts from different women`s lives. Obviouly, those lives cannot be 100% correct.

There are supposedly some learned and well read men on Chowk. One day they make sense and the next day they are full of nonsense. Obviously, women are no different from men.

[Maybe the son’s mothers would want a vilaiti educated girl. Her mother believed it would improve Fauzia’s marital prospects. ]

The above sounded to be the most ridiculous perspective entertained by a mother. Thank God all mother do not think alike!

This article starts off as a low budget novel and ends sort of abrubtly. It seems that the writer is penning a story about her own life.

I dont see why South Asian women equate liberation and freedom from social and cultural ties with sleeping around. I have seen many cases of such women getting into trouble. A number of men that I have known used to look at hooking a South Asian or a Chinese girl as sport. Most of them wanted to find out what it would be to sleep with an Asian woman. I have seen many Indian and Pakistani girls ending up sleeping around and in some cases even getting married to westerners, but most of these marriages ended in divorce. I know of one Pakistani woman who ended up catching herpes the first time she slept with an American man.

#131

[I know of one Pakistani woman who ended up catching herpes the first time she slept with an American man.]

I am impressed that the woman ended up sharing such personal information :)

- Are you saying a Pakistani woman cannot catch herpes sleeping with a tall, dark and hansome Pakistani man?

or

- Are you implying that Pakistani men are herpes free? So the women should not consider anyone outside their clan ?

How territorial! :)

Re: 132 and 131

ZahraJ: You tell him~

Although it is a known fact that Pakistani men cannot ever contract an STD no matter how many women and men they sleep with.

Re: # 133

SS:

Are you being funny?

or

Are you stating a 100% fact blessed by several references?

Please clarify.

:)

Re: # 134
What do you think, Dahlin!

Re: # 135

I am not good at reading between the lines. It`s fine to accept if you are being funny. Why create a cloud of ambiguity around it? So, I assume that you were being funny. I hope it is a fair assumption :)

Post 132 should also include:

How clannish!

so we have the anti-pakistani men females who attribute all things bad to all pakistani men.
then we have pakistani men who`re riding the wave trying to put other pakistani men down. how wonderfully effective this tag team is.

and if someone doesn`t agree with the story, it`s best to attack them and say they`re intolerant and ``typical``

Re: # 137

Terranova:

[so we have the anti-pakistani men females who attribute all things bad to all pakistani men. ]

First of all your observation is quite vague and general. I think all women who expressed sentiments for or against the pakistani men are doing so out of sheer concern. Probably, their intentions are good and they want some reforms in the thought process. Probably, they want to see some action vs. empty words and vague perspectives. See, the intention is good and that should suffice. In my humble opinion, men need to develop thick skin and appreciate the time spent in criticizing them. Only then this world would change for a better world.

By the way, you are encouraged to join the tag team as a neutral party. So far, we have no restrictions on our membership. We will appreciate participation from vocal, sensitive and gentle human beings.

Welcome aboard!

sajal ,
Excellent posts!

Rahul,

I agree; well done Sajal!

I wonder how many people would have interacted to this piece without the titillating ``trailer`` of Fauzia staring in the mirror at her naked body and the reference to `safe sex and masturbation`?

Well the start of this peice really cught my attention and i read it in hope of finding some really pornographic material but alas not my day.. anyway this phenomenon is clearly present in our society where girls are judged for their external beauty and not on the innner self. I dont want ot sound like a male obsessed with female liberty but I am a son and also a brother to a sister who is approaching the age of getting a partner

ermm...except for the opening paragraph...what was the point of this article? That desi girls get a hard deal if they are not deemed attractive by the prospective husbands (it is true-they do get a hard deal) or that if you go to the West and sleep around with a lot of goras you`ll live happily ever after?
There are lots of desi girls doing that these days (and guys too) but no one seems to be living happily ever after. most end up in some sort of depression. then they hit their 30s and start looking for someone to get married to on shaadi.com...

this aping of everything western has not done anybody any favours at all. i think our generation --all three sexes--is doomed to live in misery since we are a selfish bunch addicted to instant self-gratification. the ultimate outcome of the separation of state and church...a dystopian society addicted to instant pleasures...

The older i get the more convinced i become that islam is the answer to society`s ills...
not the `islam` which you see on CNN (that is deliberately put there for propaganda purposes) but the islam which is based around a small local community model with the Saint as the leader..the model of Madina...of traditional societies (now sadly dying out except in isolated communities such as in mauritania or parts of yemen, morroco, remote parts of the subcontinent etc.)..the kind described by Ahmad Thomson in his book ``Dajjal and the New World Order``--an islam as a `life-transaction`; small, self-sufficient communities of murabitun living off the land with the Shaykh as the centre. Following the Sunnah, marrying early and using piety as the main criterion, a Prophetic model of life...sadly this mode of life is dying out...it is becoming a rare species...


the dajjalic system has almost won...small pockets of idyll remain...the awliya are the lamps of light which are resisting this antichristic system from taking over totally...men such as this:

Shaykh Murabit al Haaj of Mauritania (old man) with Shaykh Sayyid Habib `Ali al Jifri al Yemeni and Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

Naqsh Sahib,

I`m disappointed that you are interpreting self determination through one dimensional conceptions. Is understanding agency such a frightening idea that whenever it is exercised, it is dismissed as ``aping the West``?