Fauzia’s Rejection

Sajal
#108

Thank you for the compliment. And nice quotes by the way. I think I liked Margaret Young`s best.

Three cheers indeed :).

ShoreSahib
#111

Much obliged!

Temporal
#121

No doubt education is first and foremost on the list. I`m just not sure if it`s enough on it`s own. As for the guns? sigh....does this have to turn into an ugly gender war? I read somewhere (or was it heard) that `feminism is this radical idea that women are people too` (paraphrase). On a daily basis I don`t face the kind of resistance many desi women face. I have supportive people in my life and have been fortunate to do what I enjoy as far as education and career. So, I know I speak from a priveleged position when I`m irreverent. I mean there are women out there with ``real`` problems who don`t have a voice (you know what i mean don`t you? poverty, abuse, etc.).

Re: 123

Temporal jee,
In a patriarchal society such as our South Asian one, there are those with the power and those without. The Have`s in this case are Men and hold onto this power with all the might in their dear life. Since power is such a tightly controlled commodity, and the Patriarchy has laid out specific rules and regulations for women as to how they must acquire and weild power.

They must be virginal mothers, daughters, wives and sisters and only when they behave according to the dictums of the patriarchal behavioral expectations; they are given the leftovers from the Pie of Power.
A father and a husband lays out the rules as to how his wife and daughter may behave and demarcates the limits of their freedoms. The female members of the household in an extended family situation garner power from manipulations of the male members. The wife from her husband, the mother in law from her husband and son, the sister in law from her brother and father.

In this delicate balance of power struggles the Saas, the Buhu and the Nand are always looking for that thin slice of power. When one of them gets it fleetingly, the dominated now has some power and suddenly turns into the dominant one. She cant use her newfound power against the male members except manipulations and passive aggression but will be dominant towards the other females.

In the end, its not about male and female but about Having or not having power. It is a tightly controlled comodity and in a patriarchal culture like ours resides firmly in the hands of the Men.

Chowk is full of interesting perspectives and people. Some learned and experienced experts have been writing quite frequently on women`s thought process and what they want in life. Interestingly, none of those experts happened to be women themselves. In a way, this write-up by a woman is a decent breakthrough. This is not to say that women thinkers and writers on Chowk have not entertained this subject area before.

There are some scenarios in this write-up that make you think where the writer is coming from. But then reading her post # 125, it`s clear that she is providing some excerpts from different women`s lives. Obviouly, those lives cannot be 100% correct.

There are supposedly some learned and well read men on Chowk. One day they make sense and the next day they are full of nonsense. Obviously, women are no different from men.

[Maybe the son’s mothers would want a vilaiti educated girl. Her mother believed it would improve Fauzia’s marital prospects. ]

The above sounded to be the most ridiculous perspective entertained by a mother. Thank God all mother do not think alike!

This article starts off as a low budget novel and ends sort of abrubtly. It seems that the writer is penning a story about her own life.

I dont see why South Asian women equate liberation and freedom from social and cultural ties with sleeping around. I have seen many cases of such women getting into trouble. A number of men that I have known used to look at hooking a South Asian or a Chinese girl as sport. Most of them wanted to find out what it would be to sleep with an Asian woman. I have seen many Indian and Pakistani girls ending up sleeping around and in some cases even getting married to westerners, but most of these marriages ended in divorce. I know of one Pakistani woman who ended up catching herpes the first time she slept with an American man.

#131

[I know of one Pakistani woman who ended up catching herpes the first time she slept with an American man.]

I am impressed that the woman ended up sharing such personal information :)

- Are you saying a Pakistani woman cannot catch herpes sleeping with a tall, dark and hansome Pakistani man?

or

- Are you implying that Pakistani men are herpes free? So the women should not consider anyone outside their clan ?

How territorial! :)

Re: # 135

I am not good at reading between the lines. It`s fine to accept if you are being funny. Why create a cloud of ambiguity around it? So, I assume that you were being funny. I hope it is a fair assumption :)

Post 132 should also include:

How clannish!

Re: # 134
What do you think, Dahlin!

Re: # 133

SS:

Are you being funny?

or

Are you stating a 100% fact blessed by several references?

Please clarify.

:)

Re: 132 and 131

ZahraJ: You tell him~

Although it is a known fact that Pakistani men cannot ever contract an STD no matter how many women and men they sleep with.

Re: # 137

Terranova:

[so we have the anti-pakistani men females who attribute all things bad to all pakistani men. ]

First of all your observation is quite vague and general. I think all women who expressed sentiments for or against the pakistani men are doing so out of sheer concern. Probably, their intentions are good and they want some reforms in the thought process. Probably, they want to see some action vs. empty words and vague perspectives. See, the intention is good and that should suffice. In my humble opinion, men need to develop thick skin and appreciate the time spent in criticizing them. Only then this world would change for a better world.

By the way, you are encouraged to join the tag team as a neutral party. So far, we have no restrictions on our membership. We will appreciate participation from vocal, sensitive and gentle human beings.

Welcome aboard!

so we have the anti-pakistani men females who attribute all things bad to all pakistani men.
then we have pakistani men who`re riding the wave trying to put other pakistani men down. how wonderfully effective this tag team is.

and if someone doesn`t agree with the story, it`s best to attack them and say they`re intolerant and ``typical``

sajal ,
Excellent posts!

Rahul,

I agree; well done Sajal!

Re: # 141

Dost-Mittar:

Thank you for highlighting the key components of this write-up.

Regards,

I wonder how many people would have interacted to this piece without the titillating ``trailer`` of Fauzia staring in the mirror at her naked body and the reference to `safe sex and masturbation`?

Well the start of this peice really cught my attention and i read it in hope of finding some really pornographic material but alas not my day.. anyway this phenomenon is clearly present in our society where girls are judged for their external beauty and not on the innner self. I dont want ot sound like a male obsessed with female liberty but I am a son and also a brother to a sister who is approaching the age of getting a partner