Involuntary Closure

zeh`r:

therapy?

any tsunami caused therapy urge would melt away after that first hug from ammi-abbu upon your return

looks like you are in a position finally to make a difference, however little in the lives of some folks...good luck!

lve

t

Zehra:

Most choices in life involve an opportunity cost of some sort. At the end of the day you have to ask yourself this: do the benefits outweigh the costs? And from what you say, it clearly seems they do. You are making a REAL difference in people`s lives. Just think about that.

I truly wish you tremendous success.

miriam

...normally i do not like front page writers and interactors because of all the hot air and no action...whereas, you had the gumption to wade in and try to help someone... it is immaterial if it`s paid or voluntary, you are making an attempt to change someone`s lot and that takes guts and hard work... good luck and god speed...

u guys are sweet.
thanks for reading and commenting. it gets difficult day in and day out. overall amazing though :)

what r people back home saying about this? anything at all or has everyone forgotton?

z.rizvi.

I am seriously trying to discover the whole reason behind writing this article. Why?

Dear Zehra:

As you appear to take your leave from the Tsunami diaries, I would like to add my good wishes to those expressed by others regarding your future course in life. I am quite convinced that you will do very well no matter what you pursue. I do not say this as a formality - rather I base it on what I have learnt about you from your writings. So far, it is clear to me that (1) you believe in causes, (2) you act on what you believe in, and (3) you slog it out (you are not a quitter)! In my view, (2) and (3) could bring you successes in your future, while (1) will bring meaning to life. Please cherish these characteristics and hang on to them with all your might!

Zehra, as you close this door, there is one loose end which needs addressing from me. On an earlier board, I called you “spunky” and you turned around and asked why? While many people assumed that I was referring to your using the F-word - that was NEVER the case. (Although I thought then and even do now that the “F-word” issue is a trivial issue (no matter how many interacts it generated on that board).)

You see, I see certain real problems (amplified often on other boards) with the subcontinent/people whence we all come. I believe that the reason we desis (whether located in the subcontinent or here in the U.S. or elsewhere) continue to have those problems is because we collect a lot of our deadwood thought-processes and dump them on our following generations. This deadwood severely limits our ability to make full use of our potential – to get to what Providence designed us for (and perhaps designed for us). One manifestation of that disease, the symptom of an inert population, was what you saw and described earlier (and of course, it’s not confined to Sri Lanka). When I think of someone like you (based on what I know (and of course, I may be off on some of the points but I am telling you like I see it)), I see the change coming through – sort of an “early bird” edition of the “coming of age” of that subcontinent right before our eyes (even though it took a very different land (and a faraway land at that) to make it happen in your case). You think on your own feet, you make your own decisions, and you have no hesitation in asking questions – even the “tough” questions. Most importantly, it’s not even a question in your mind whether these are things which can be anything other than a “given”. You are highly unlikely to be the kind of person to fall down in unquestioning submission to that bane of a never-changing mindset! In many ways, you retain the best part, the essence of what “we” are all about, but have absorbed few of “our” shortcomings. That’s the reason you have done the things you have done, and no matter whether anybody (including yourself) chooses to believe it or not, it took a lot of guts to do them.

Zehra, spunky is as spunky does! And that’s the way it is.

To borrow from our very dear Dr. Gill - wishing you well!

Sincerely,
BeeJay

Notes:

[I have been scarred and disillusioned by this whole process.]
Zehra, please consider it part of the learning process that’s life. The day you think learning has lost its meaning, life itself may loose a lot of it (at least that’s how I see it). You have a lot ahead of you and even the lessons of the “disillusionment” will be there for a reason! Do believe me!

[Work with resources I now have to make a positive change.]
Another one of those lessons that come very handy in life, for everybody!

Beejay,
wow, thanks.

i am spunky and i take the compiliment very seriously...i like to walk the walk if i am going to talk the talk. i was just trying to draw u out into a conversation.

i am still not pleased with the last lesson that u highlight. part of me feels like a sell out.
another way i was thinking about it is that the FBI and the CIA are genuinely evil as far as im concerned. aid organizations try not to be so its ok.

i was at a going away get together for one of the people leaving from here and old hands of humanitarian work were happy to see my excitement for the work. fresh blood is always good they said. good ot have the mix of experience and enthusiam. we will see how well the formula works in this case. it is really messed up here right now.
politics and humanity is clashing and its all in a few hands. lets see what they do.

thanks again,
z.rizvi.

Re: # 4

Zehra,

You ask if what are people back home saying about it? Honestly the only time one is even reminded here that such a disaster even happened is sadly only when you see someone wearing a white wristband.

And I second Beejay`s remarks and compliments to you who followed her inner voice to do what most of us only intend.

On a side ... a friend who travels a lot to Malaysia, Indonesia etc was talking about how the resorts have been rebuilt and tourism is also returning some. But there was something else she said which summed it up for me ... she said even though tourism has returned but you don`t see the locals go in the water ... i guess she was saying even when the whole world moves on, for those who lost their homes, their lives, and loved ones to that water ... it will never be the same.