A Moment of Silence
Ozer Khalid June 30, 2005
#17 Posted by FarzanaVersey on July 1, 2005 12:59:17 pm
Woody Allen, a Westerner: ``As a filmmaker, I`m not interested in 9/11, it`s too small, history overwhelms it. The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other....Political quesitons, if you go back thousands of years, are ephemeral -- not important. History is the same thing over and over again.`` (Pagesix.com)
Ozer:
An individual voice has every right to be rendered, that is the reason why I thought your prologue could either be seen as defensive or a pre-emptive self-chastisement before a `crime`. And speaking out IS a crime. Don`t you know you are supposed to live in a balanced world, where every word must be weighed against another? You cannot speak about only one side -- what about the other, they will ask you. What about the atrocities in your own backyard? Talk about those. Leave the West alone...
This is when your silence should come in handy. Instead, you say, ``Inevitably this poem will be misinterpreted by the unseeing naked masses and Machiavelli’s children.``
This is too vast a spectrum...or if irony befits, then the unseeing naked masses are helpless products of Machiavellis.Their ears too are ``clogged with wax``, but for different reasons.
If ``This NEVER intended to be a 9/11 poem``, you have to go that extra mile...and you have tried. There are lines that reach out to be ``piled`` but not ``slipped off our tongues``.
I hope you are not one of those who will stay snug only in the ``anguish and affliction``. I am aware that poetry is an intensely personal expression, but the long sentences could have been pared down, if only to give it a rhythm.
Cliches are often truisms, but not terribly poetic...Why did you have to use the newspaper-like ``US intransigence and Osama`s arrogance not two sides of the same coin`` when it was to be followed with, ``Both are hunters with hungry intent``? Why kill your own lines?
Also, the use of some words in Caps appeared self-conscious- the flow should be its own emphasis.
``But tonight, we will keep on screaming``...and will you hear those screams when your ears are clogged with wax?
``But leave the poets.
Whose innocuously magnetic poetry will remain
On the frozen refrigerator of our consciousness ...``
Are you sure?! Pray, why? If innocuous poetry can be magnetic and refrigerators can be frozen, then I`ll be damed to leave the poets.
You will understand that I am only ``slaying``, only ``singing``, but not for ``the dead``...but for those who strive to be alive.
Ozer:
An individual voice has every right to be rendered, that is the reason why I thought your prologue could either be seen as defensive or a pre-emptive self-chastisement before a `crime`. And speaking out IS a crime. Don`t you know you are supposed to live in a balanced world, where every word must be weighed against another? You cannot speak about only one side -- what about the other, they will ask you. What about the atrocities in your own backyard? Talk about those. Leave the West alone...
This is when your silence should come in handy. Instead, you say, ``Inevitably this poem will be misinterpreted by the unseeing naked masses and Machiavelli’s children.``
This is too vast a spectrum...or if irony befits, then the unseeing naked masses are helpless products of Machiavellis.Their ears too are ``clogged with wax``, but for different reasons.
If ``This NEVER intended to be a 9/11 poem``, you have to go that extra mile...and you have tried. There are lines that reach out to be ``piled`` but not ``slipped off our tongues``.
I hope you are not one of those who will stay snug only in the ``anguish and affliction``. I am aware that poetry is an intensely personal expression, but the long sentences could have been pared down, if only to give it a rhythm.
Cliches are often truisms, but not terribly poetic...Why did you have to use the newspaper-like ``US intransigence and Osama`s arrogance not two sides of the same coin`` when it was to be followed with, ``Both are hunters with hungry intent``? Why kill your own lines?
Also, the use of some words in Caps appeared self-conscious- the flow should be its own emphasis.
``But tonight, we will keep on screaming``...and will you hear those screams when your ears are clogged with wax?
``But leave the poets.
Whose innocuously magnetic poetry will remain
On the frozen refrigerator of our consciousness ...``
Are you sure?! Pray, why? If innocuous poetry can be magnetic and refrigerators can be frozen, then I`ll be damed to leave the poets.
You will understand that I am only ``slaying``, only ``singing``, but not for ``the dead``...but for those who strive to be alive.
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#18 Posted by hamidm2 on July 1, 2005 1:42:58 pm
here we go again !
.......... first, if this is a poem then i am a peter pan ........... second, who cares ?....... we have bigger problems - like what to have for dinner tonight or whether to wear briefs or boxers ...................
......but seriously, did anyone read this .... this ..... whatyoumayallit ?......... it seems that every time nature calls and someone has an urge they think it is okay to defecate all over chowk ....... who is going to clean up this mess ?
........... but i did get the message - the ummah has been wronged and it is justified in blowing up things that they do not understand and cannot hope to build themselves ......... is that it?....... now can we get back to working on the dinner menu ?
.......... first, if this is a poem then i am a peter pan ........... second, who cares ?....... we have bigger problems - like what to have for dinner tonight or whether to wear briefs or boxers ...................
......but seriously, did anyone read this .... this ..... whatyoumayallit ?......... it seems that every time nature calls and someone has an urge they think it is okay to defecate all over chowk ....... who is going to clean up this mess ?
........... but i did get the message - the ummah has been wronged and it is justified in blowing up things that they do not understand and cannot hope to build themselves ......... is that it?....... now can we get back to working on the dinner menu ?
#19 Posted by HP on July 1, 2005 2:08:43 pm
#18
You know I rarely agree with you but on this count, I got go with you :)
Poems are about expressions, about hints and allegations, about subtle emotions and about deep thinking. And what do we see here…Sara jahan ka dard humary jigr main hai aur who bhi badtehzeebi say!
#20 Posted by BeeJay on July 1, 2005 2:21:03 pm
#17 by FarzanaVersey
Author Versey:
Since you have on purpose chosen to make an appearance here to throw in your “critique” of this piece of garbage in an apparently transparent, feeble, and totally futile attempt to legitimize this “poet”, I consider it my sacred duty, as a conscientious chowk community member (yes, there ARE creatures like that in this jungle), to bring to your attention that your attempts to rehabilitate this discredited entity appear utterly pathetic and totally moronic to me!
It’s clear to all SANE individuals on this web-site (a definition which may or may not include “out of ordinary” individuals such as yourself) that this piece of “poetry” is little more than a half-hearted slapping together of newspaper headlines (a technique which I’m sure you are intimately familiar with), tear-jerker Harlequin romance novel titles (which can probably still melt low-level intellects (and I’m not naming any names here (I like to stay alive, you see)) by deluging them with “soft” words, and other stuff specifically targeted to take advantage of the limited attention span of our vast multitude of innocent chowkies!
This “poet” is a repeat criminal – he has a track record of trying to commit the same crime earlier, when he conned (confused?) even the likes of seasoned veterans such as Dr. LokRaj into confusing man-goo with mango! He also has a history of carrying out delusional conversations with his numerous alter-egos. He needs psychiatric counseling administered by a professional shrink, not the services of a second- or third-rate poetry critic!
Everything about this “poet” is crooked! If you don’t believe me, go check his picture on his interactor’s page. Let’s leave aside for a moment the possibility that it may not REALLY be his picture, the fact that he wears a goatee (indicating that he may or may not be a member of the clan of closet “beards”), the fact that he doesn’t even know how to SPELL “chowkies” accurately, and a few other details – just look at his unnatural posture! The way he sits should make it plain – anyone, even you, can see it – that he is CROOKED! Just look at his left arm – how UNNATURALLY it goes around his back (and what SANE individual would smoke a cigarette in this age of enlightenment, I ask you!) I am not sure, but he even seems to have a third leg which he blatantly exposes high up to the thigh – how shameless an individual one must be to accomplish THAT feat!
I’m at a certain disadvantage in elaborating further on the merits of this strange creature of thousand words that this “poet” has vomited – since I’m not a poet, merely a janitor! But I’m extremely sensitive to situations which need an immediate and thorough clean-up. The clincher evidence, of course, is that in my professional capacity as a janitor, I can assure you that a refrigerator can NEVER be frozen (unless you move it inside another, larger freezer)! If, in spite of all this evidence, you still see some legitimacy in his work, then there could even be a slight possibility that you may be blind!
Sincerely,
BeeJay.
#22 Posted by BeeJay on July 1, 2005 2:51:17 pm
#21 HP
HP – my dear friend,
I’m not sure whether you are confused or not!
I believe that author Versey is fully capable of understanding and (if necessary, responding to) my simple, janitorial opinion of the “work” being discussed. The accusation of “stalking” is wrong and grossly unfair (especially if one is to go by the number of interacts on individuals’ boards, I’m far, far outnumbered by other individuals, such as YOURSELF!)
Author Versey, (in view of #21), are you sure you have the knights right?
Sincerely,
BeeJay.
#23 Posted by TheoVanGogh on July 1, 2005 3:52:06 pm
Lets have a moment of silence for the ONE MILLION Bengalis slaughtered by Pakistani Muslim psychopaths in the Kihad of 1971.
Lets have a moment of silence for the ONE MILLION Armenian Christians slaughtered by Turkish Muslim psychopaths in the Turkish Jihads at the start of the twentieth century.
Lets have a moment of silence for all the infidel victims of Islamic Jihadi psychopathic violence over the last hundred years, and the poor defenceless Christians and Animists being raped and slaughtered in the Sudan today.
Save the World from the Islamic Psychopaths. Can we have a few moments of silence please?
Amen.
#24 Posted by UmerMurtaza on July 1, 2005 4:51:52 pm
With all due respect,
Who gives a flying fuck about the dead of the 9/11? Who are they? Who cares? So we`ll have ripe tomatoes growing on the soil of the twin towers. People die all the time: Hindus, Muslims, black white, children, adults, men, women...
The truth is, if we spent even a single second of silence for every individual who had died unjustly, we`d never talk. Better to carry on and live your life and make sure it`s not YOU who`s hurting the other.
Ever since I slaughtered my first animal and saw how obedient the beast was and how easy it was to run that blade across its neck, I`m wondering if death is overrated, like one of those fancy roller coaster rides.
Umer M.
Who gives a flying fuck about the dead of the 9/11? Who are they? Who cares? So we`ll have ripe tomatoes growing on the soil of the twin towers. People die all the time: Hindus, Muslims, black white, children, adults, men, women...
The truth is, if we spent even a single second of silence for every individual who had died unjustly, we`d never talk. Better to carry on and live your life and make sure it`s not YOU who`s hurting the other.
Ever since I slaughtered my first animal and saw how obedient the beast was and how easy it was to run that blade across its neck, I`m wondering if death is overrated, like one of those fancy roller coaster rides.
Umer M.
#25 Posted by BeeJay on July 1, 2005 5:15:52 pm
#24 Umer
Dear Umer, I’m shocked.
Although I kind of understand why you are frustrated with this poem, you know ALL life is precious (especially those of children)! Can we keep this discussion limited to the quality and genuineness of this “poem”, please!
Thanks.
BeeJay.
#17 FarzanaVersey (Addendum)
Farzana, if you share HP’s opinion that I’m “stalking” you, just say so and I’ll stop directing interacts to you. It’s not a big deal (really!) Thanks!
#26 Posted by hamidm2 on July 1, 2005 9:13:00 pm
the man from nigeria, explained
.......... i went back and read this ``poem`` to see if i had missed something, but there is nothing to miss - this ``piece`` is gibberish and anyone who is trying to make any sense out of it should also consider buying a bridge in brooklyn ............ i am really surprised farzana fell for this hoax - i always thought she had more brains than all the men on chowk put together .............
............ but this ``piece`` does explain why i keep on getting this letter from the man in nigeria who wants my bank account number so that he can deposit a million dollars - like ozer, he deserves full credit for trying and trying again ..........
#27 Posted by OzerKhalid on July 1, 2005 9:34:13 pm
Dear Farzana
Gracias ``por`` your thought-provoking interact.
Farzana types “That is the reason why I thought your prologue could either be seen as defensive or a pre-emptive self-chastisement before a `crime`”.
Farzana the prologue is actually a caveat for all those who seek to tar this poem with the brush of bearing a fundamentalist slant. But since pigeon-holing is society’s favourite recreation the labelling comes as second-nature to sheepish interactors. Commonly found on these forums.
“This is too vast a spectrum...or if irony befits, then the unseeing naked masses are helpless products of Machiavellis.Their ears too are ``clogged with wax``, but for different reasons”.
FV a very poignant remark. The “Machiavelli`s” constitute a hegemonic superstructure (media, policies, government, laws) and an economic sub-structure (macro and micro) which wilfully eclipse the retina of the eyes so that the masses are blinded and stripped of any “garb” of intellectuality leaving them “unseeing” “naked” and “helpless”.
FV interacts “I hope you are not one of those who will stay snug only in the ``anguish and affliction``.
Rather than staying “snug” these gruesome global verities make me feel “stung”. Indeed lines drawn in the sand of perfection suffer a windy fate. And sculptures are never carved to perfection. Though that should never cease the sculptor from carry on chiselling. My chisels are words. For in the cyber universe they are all I can fall back on.
``Both are hunters with hungry intent``? Why kill your own lines?
FV sometimes a stab to one`s own style is uplifting. It puntures any traces of ego.
”Also, the use of some words in Caps appeared self-conscious- the flow should be its own emphasis.”
If anything they were “sub-conscious”.
``But tonight, we will keep on screaming``...and will you hear those screams when your ears are clogged with wax?
``Rhetorically`` they are meant to be clogged. But Farzana are they in practice ?
Farzana comments: ”Are you sure?! Pray, why? If innocuous poetry can be magnetic and refrigerators can be frozen, then I`ll be damed to leave the poets”.
Ebbing towards a “Dead Poet`s Society” ?
Farzana concludes “You will understand that I am only ``slaying``, only ``singing``, but not for ``the dead``...but for those who strive to be alive.
As opposed to those who merely “exist”?
RSVP. Many thanks.
It seems that ``cyber-ghosts`` and ``cyber-witches`` make a stellar ensemble do you not opine FV ?
Gracias ``por`` your thought-provoking interact.
Farzana types “That is the reason why I thought your prologue could either be seen as defensive or a pre-emptive self-chastisement before a `crime`”.
Farzana the prologue is actually a caveat for all those who seek to tar this poem with the brush of bearing a fundamentalist slant. But since pigeon-holing is society’s favourite recreation the labelling comes as second-nature to sheepish interactors. Commonly found on these forums.
“This is too vast a spectrum...or if irony befits, then the unseeing naked masses are helpless products of Machiavellis.Their ears too are ``clogged with wax``, but for different reasons”.
FV a very poignant remark. The “Machiavelli`s” constitute a hegemonic superstructure (media, policies, government, laws) and an economic sub-structure (macro and micro) which wilfully eclipse the retina of the eyes so that the masses are blinded and stripped of any “garb” of intellectuality leaving them “unseeing” “naked” and “helpless”.
FV interacts “I hope you are not one of those who will stay snug only in the ``anguish and affliction``.
Rather than staying “snug” these gruesome global verities make me feel “stung”. Indeed lines drawn in the sand of perfection suffer a windy fate. And sculptures are never carved to perfection. Though that should never cease the sculptor from carry on chiselling. My chisels are words. For in the cyber universe they are all I can fall back on.
``Both are hunters with hungry intent``? Why kill your own lines?
FV sometimes a stab to one`s own style is uplifting. It puntures any traces of ego.
”Also, the use of some words in Caps appeared self-conscious- the flow should be its own emphasis.”
If anything they were “sub-conscious”.
``But tonight, we will keep on screaming``...and will you hear those screams when your ears are clogged with wax?
``Rhetorically`` they are meant to be clogged. But Farzana are they in practice ?
Farzana comments: ”Are you sure?! Pray, why? If innocuous poetry can be magnetic and refrigerators can be frozen, then I`ll be damed to leave the poets”.
Ebbing towards a “Dead Poet`s Society” ?
Farzana concludes “You will understand that I am only ``slaying``, only ``singing``, but not for ``the dead``...but for those who strive to be alive.
As opposed to those who merely “exist”?
RSVP. Many thanks.
It seems that ``cyber-ghosts`` and ``cyber-witches`` make a stellar ensemble do you not opine FV ?
#28 Posted by OzerKhalid on July 1, 2005 10:11:36 pm
Re: # 18
Dear readers, I will digress, and since I do have a captive audience, besides Hamid is gagging for it...well if you all insist I must:
At long last my numero uno fan Hamid M has graced us with his appearance....you have been sorely missed by your cheer-leader bimbettes....you are now a Corollary (look it up in the dictionary Hamid good boy now...) to anything I write. So this one is dedicated specially for you.
There will be many more coming up. So belly and chin up for the roller-coaster ride Hamid boyyy...
With his infinite pearls of wisdom Hamid wisecracks ``if this is a poem then i am a peter pan``
Hamid you are treading on very thin ice. By claiming to be ``Peter Pan`` you are sounding more and more like your arch-hero Michael Jackson. Im sure that the similitude and intimate affinity between yourself and Wacko Jacko runs deeper than ``moon-walking`` ! Perhaps certain less benign habits you would like to share with the general public ?
Hamid M then quizically ponders, in a Hamlet sort of manniere ``whether to wear briefs or boxers?``
The fact that Hamid knows how to wear either is utter misguidance. Hamid things are done incrementally. Once mummy ceases your nappy training session only then you can go on to wear briefs or boxers. Oh sorry I forgot they have to perform a very rare nip and tuck upon thee Hamid jeeeee....ahhh good luck in surgery.....
Hamid feeling desolate peers toward the limitless-blue sky and asks ``who is going to clean up this mess`` ?
This is where Benevolent Beejay with his bacteria-addled mop intervenes and self-crusadingly mops up ...but he soon becomes cognizant that what he has mopped is actually his own excrement....gollly gosh more mopping up is needed by a more adept janitor. Time to hang your keys now Mr Janitor! Good boy.....
Hamid then fuels his batteries and like a regal Easter bunny jumps up and enlighteningly quotes ``the ummah has been wronged and it is justified in blowing up things that they do not understand and cannot hope to build themselves is that it?.......As usual our eager infant is running before he can crawl and has not even read the prologue. Surprise. Surprise !!!
Hamid summarises ``now can we get back to working on the dinner menu`` ?
Hamid (M)anure the menu for tonight is what our resident janitor has mopped up. Would you like to sample a tad bit ?
A la carte menu to be continued....................................
Signed
``Machiavelli`s child``
Dear readers, I will digress, and since I do have a captive audience, besides Hamid is gagging for it...well if you all insist I must:
At long last my numero uno fan Hamid M has graced us with his appearance....you have been sorely missed by your cheer-leader bimbettes....you are now a Corollary (look it up in the dictionary Hamid good boy now...) to anything I write. So this one is dedicated specially for you.
There will be many more coming up. So belly and chin up for the roller-coaster ride Hamid boyyy...
With his infinite pearls of wisdom Hamid wisecracks ``if this is a poem then i am a peter pan``
Hamid you are treading on very thin ice. By claiming to be ``Peter Pan`` you are sounding more and more like your arch-hero Michael Jackson. Im sure that the similitude and intimate affinity between yourself and Wacko Jacko runs deeper than ``moon-walking`` ! Perhaps certain less benign habits you would like to share with the general public ?
Hamid M then quizically ponders, in a Hamlet sort of manniere ``whether to wear briefs or boxers?``
The fact that Hamid knows how to wear either is utter misguidance. Hamid things are done incrementally. Once mummy ceases your nappy training session only then you can go on to wear briefs or boxers. Oh sorry I forgot they have to perform a very rare nip and tuck upon thee Hamid jeeeee....ahhh good luck in surgery.....
Hamid feeling desolate peers toward the limitless-blue sky and asks ``who is going to clean up this mess`` ?
This is where Benevolent Beejay with his bacteria-addled mop intervenes and self-crusadingly mops up ...but he soon becomes cognizant that what he has mopped is actually his own excrement....gollly gosh more mopping up is needed by a more adept janitor. Time to hang your keys now Mr Janitor! Good boy.....
Hamid then fuels his batteries and like a regal Easter bunny jumps up and enlighteningly quotes ``the ummah has been wronged and it is justified in blowing up things that they do not understand and cannot hope to build themselves is that it?.......As usual our eager infant is running before he can crawl and has not even read the prologue. Surprise. Surprise !!!
Hamid summarises ``now can we get back to working on the dinner menu`` ?
Hamid (M)anure the menu for tonight is what our resident janitor has mopped up. Would you like to sample a tad bit ?
A la carte menu to be continued....................................
Signed
``Machiavelli`s child``
#29 Posted by OzerKhalid on July 1, 2005 10:26:13 pm
Farzana
You are one of the few individuals who has made a concerted effort towards ``constructive`` remarks on the poem itself. It is hoped (rather optimistically) that other interactors emulate this trail and make ``constructive criticism`` on the poem and its substantive subject matter.
Interactors, engage in relevance rather than resorting to enfeabled attempts at character slander. Chowk cannot remain an electronic boxing-ring for sheepish spineless characters who have way too much time swinging on the pendulum of their lives. The whistle is blown. The bouts have finished. The boxing match (should) be over.
Are we grown up enough on this forum ? Or will we carry on Eminemishly tit-for-tatting ? If readers do not have anything relevant to say let them plead the 5th Ammendment and retain their right to remain wisely silent.
You are one of the few individuals who has made a concerted effort towards ``constructive`` remarks on the poem itself. It is hoped (rather optimistically) that other interactors emulate this trail and make ``constructive criticism`` on the poem and its substantive subject matter.
Interactors, engage in relevance rather than resorting to enfeabled attempts at character slander. Chowk cannot remain an electronic boxing-ring for sheepish spineless characters who have way too much time swinging on the pendulum of their lives. The whistle is blown. The bouts have finished. The boxing match (should) be over.
Are we grown up enough on this forum ? Or will we carry on Eminemishly tit-for-tatting ? If readers do not have anything relevant to say let them plead the 5th Ammendment and retain their right to remain wisely silent.
#30 Posted by OzerKhalid on July 1, 2005 10:33:55 pm
Re: # 3
Patwari
The subect-matter might seem ``stale`` to you but everyday Muslim civilians bear the brunt of 9/11. At the workplace. In social gatherings. At school. In airport terminals. And the shopping list is ceaseless....
So I would challenge your assumption Patwari by stating that 9/11 is very topical and will remain so as the wheels of time turn.
Patwari
The subect-matter might seem ``stale`` to you but everyday Muslim civilians bear the brunt of 9/11. At the workplace. In social gatherings. At school. In airport terminals. And the shopping list is ceaseless....
So I would challenge your assumption Patwari by stating that 9/11 is very topical and will remain so as the wheels of time turn.
#31 Posted by OzerKhalid on July 1, 2005 10:42:05 pm
Re: # 2
Beejay wisecracks `` And where were you, O great, great knight
When Saddam’s thumb crushed rank and file``
Beejay by making the above comment are you legitimising the attrocities that are ravaging Iraqi civilians under US soldiers post-Saddam ? Seems so to me....and are you saying that what happened in Abu Ghraib is any better than Saddam`s regime ?
Why paint blood a sickly shade of pink ?
Beejay wisecracks `` And where were you, O great, great knight
When Saddam’s thumb crushed rank and file``
Beejay by making the above comment are you legitimising the attrocities that are ravaging Iraqi civilians under US soldiers post-Saddam ? Seems so to me....and are you saying that what happened in Abu Ghraib is any better than Saddam`s regime ?
Why paint blood a sickly shade of pink ?
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