Advantage, Men

Enjoyed reading the article. Elaborates some interesting facts about the behaviors of both genders…

But I do believe the title is misleading to the nature of the article. It generalizes the whole gender into a piece and leads the reader to generalize the whole situation into one direction; which I guess is that “when it comes to sex the man shows the advances and woman is at the receiving end” and on that basis it heads to define them as “pervert”…

However, if you want to generalize, I believe there is another perspective, which is more scientific and logical, however due to its scientific nature it lacks the sociological aspects.

Though I do agree that “when it comes to sex the man shows the advances and woman is at the receiving end” is mostly true … it confirms the natural instinct common to most of the species. And every male has a different critical barrier (in terms of attraction that male feels for a certain female) for him to show his intentions. And he must feel the higher level of attractiveness to cross that barrier and show his feelings…

Similarly for example “teasing done by women” is also a way (among other ways) of females showing their attractiveness for a certain male. Every female do have to feel a different level of attractiveness to show their feelings by these means….

These critical barriers vary in every male and female… So in other words what I am implying is that “ if you met a very nice guy who showed no signs of being a “pervert” it might be that due to any reason he does not feel the higher level of attractiveness than his critical barrier.

Similarly it can be said about women. If a women doesn’t reciprocates to your advances. It could just be that you are unable to reach her critical level.

I guess that’s why the word chemistry was used to define the natural attraction between two individuals of different genders.

Correction to #34...towards the end...

``time for you to tell the women from the women....`` should be ``time for you to tell the women from the girls...``

Please excuse the diversion...
Aha... let me make an exception because it is quite funny although trying to be a killah (Mae West would have asked, ``Is that a gun in your pocket or are you only happy to see me?``)

#32 by BeeJay:

[FV, lighten up!]

YOU should, instead of rushing in after getting yourself into knots.

[This piece was supposed to be funny and so were virtually all the interacts (including the very funny one by Miriamk,]

I already commented on the positive posts...I wish you could stand up for yourself on your own and for the male species instead of trying to co-opt the name of a female interactor. Well, whatever...

[but excluding a couple of killjoys, including the #30 by you)]

You ought not to worry too much as long as your joy has not been killed.

[What’s the matter, you only like to laugh AT people, and not with them?]

The `matter` is that I do not find it necessary to laugh with people if I do not find what they say particularly witty...and I am referring to some male interactors here.

[Also, when you comment on another’s interacts, make sure to comment on an interact’s whole content (and overall essence) and not on carefully chosen excerpts.]

I used a comment, called it a comment, and the comment has its own essence.

[That would not be objective – and seriously damage your credibility in the eyes of your readers!]

Speak in the singular and for yourself.

[Also, it is considered a compliment when somebody says that ``I wish I had written it myself``.]

I do not dispute that, which is why I did not omit that portion and did not even comment on it.

[Perhaps YOU have never heard one like that!]

Frankly, my dear, I don`t give a damn...and I would not even want to give names of what I have heard from who. But one comment might be of particular interest to you....

From my writer`s page:

``#25 by BeeJay on October 30, 2004 9:41pm PT

I recently ``discovered`` you (just shows how much of a newcomer I am). I have really enjoyed your columns which I just started reading and am still going through. There is something in them(and I do not have the ability to put exactly in words) that stirs and makes me feel a connection of sorts.I also like a lot your sense of humor (although at times I wonder if it is a defense mechanism of some kind). The country, inspite of its many shortcomings and fumblings, must be doing something right if it can produce the likes of you.``

Alas, I am not given to ending my posts with hahahas to show my sense of humour nor do I indulge in a rampant use of smileys to seem cool...but you are funny, so I guess I did laugh with you, though I suspect you might have wanted it to have another reaction. It don`t work that way with me...time for you to tell the women from the women.

Have a nice weekend...or would saying `weak end` make me less of a killjoy? (I would think that would be killing the joy....)

Oh dear...you have another one on me now. Lighten up!

(more on) #30 FarzanaVersey

Also, a couple of afterthoughts (not to be confused with aftershocks):

FV, why do you have to take a simple funny piece and make a feeble, outrageous, and futile attempt to undertake a “sex change” operation on it – to mutiliate it into a man versus woman issue! I like funny pieces (I try to do that myself sometimes), I bet so does most of this crowd (male AND female). I think most of the interacts you criticized were funny! If you don’t like them, hey GO WRITE YOUR OWN funny piece!

If you are SERIOUS about solving world problems, you may have better luck sticking to Hindu vs. Muslim type of stuff. Those problems were man-made, so there is a chance! The man/woman stuff comes from a higher Authority (not AUTHORity!)

Like they used to say in US during the McCarthy era – stop looking for a communist under every bed! Did I say communist? I mean – stop looking for a man under every bed!

“Funny” is one F-word I never have a problem with! In fact, I adore it!

#30 FarzanaVersey

FV, lighten up! This piece was supposed to be funny and so were virtually all the interacts (including the very funny one by Miriamk, but excluding a couple of killjoys, including the #30 by you). What’s the matter, you only like to laugh AT people, and not with them?

Also, when you comment on another’s interacts, make sure to comment on an interact’s whole content (and overall essence) and not on carefully chosen excerpts. That would not be objective – and seriously damage your credibility in the eyes of your readers!

Also, it is considered a compliment when somebody says that ``I wish I had written it myself``. Perhaps YOU have never heard one like that!

I wonder why you have not mentioned about the male gynaecologists.The colleagues from other specialities especially in Punjab,always looked upon them with some disgust earlier,but things might be changing now with their increasing numbers.Many male medical students even tried to skip as many maternity practical classes as possible.

Sameena:

I address this rather long post to you alone for I have a fair understanding of where you are coming from, at least regarding this piece. Since you were dealing with male perversion and have singled out the shoe salesman, the darzi and the churiwalla, I wonder if you have noticed that you needn’t restrict yourself to these humble (even if disgusting) folks. I am sure you have read the responses. I have greater respect for those who have indicated that it is a generalisation of the species (nothing wrong with generalisations, though) than the ‘liberals’. How many women write about the perversions of the respectable men? Why do we restrict our ire towards those whose mentality we assume must be the pits?

What would you say to comments such as these…

“there are quite a few career choices for men you have elaborated on;)”

“A female relative owns a posh boutique. The tailor takes measurement; he holds the tape end on the nipple......says the measurment comes out better.”
(It certainly does…you cannot measure the rib-cage and say, “Do-chaar inch zara add kar dena”…the clothes one wears cannot exclude the nips; this is elementary.)

“I wish I had written it myself – except it would be difficult for a man to visit all those places you did and be in situations you were in without getting kicked out unceremoniously (or at least getting seriously stared at)!”
(So, this I all about getting a kick out of it too, is it?)

“to say that I did not fantasize (at least momentarily) to be her shoe salesman, would be a lie”

“May be it was frustration of the local Beduin women. He told me that when he asked them to uncover a part, they invariably dropped all their clothes quickly even if it was something only to do only with breasts.”
(It is true that women are sometimes part of the game, but this statement negates the element of male perversion.)

“I have alwys wondered what the women and the tailor are doing when they are taking measurements.”
(See…it is always the woman AND the tailor…is this what the writer wanted to convey?)

Tell me, did you expect this? Your light touch is being seen as open season for giving vent to repressed thoughts.

Re. the article let me make a few obersvations…

1.Even if there is a saleswoman at the lingerie counter, she will look at your breasts just as when you go to buy a kurta there is a general once-over.
2.If the darzi asks “katori ya padded” (this is now passé style, as you well know), then it is a mandatory query because that was how women wanted their blouses stitched and he had to clarify. And a 2x2 cubicle? Here I thought Mumbai was terribly cramped…a sewing machine does not fit in there, so it must be those specialised hand-stitched garments these darzis make.
3.About shoe salesmen, I personally try them (the shoes, not the men) on myself because I think it is feudal to let someone else help you with footwear. However, I found your statement, “I let him enjoy his 5 seconds of erection and pointing at four different sandals in four different corners of the showroom” a bit curious: How did you know his state? And were you keeping count?

With the exception of two-three men who have objected to the generalisation, most have only added to the perversion. And I wonder why they would suffer chest pains at all since you have said that had the churiwalla been cute it would have been ok…and the darzi was told to stitch the blouse ‘andaze se”… and the shoe guy was permitted to enjoy what you thought was a rise…I don’t think the men do really mind or feel endangered.

Most of them found it hilarious, so what is this about “not for the humour-impaired”? I suppose for some people a woman saying such things gives them ideas about potential perverse “career opportunities”. Did you imagine such a fallout? My guess is No.

With a headline like “Advantage, men” what are you trying to say? That perversions are advantageous to the male? As you well know I am no prude and truly like sensual pieces and even sexual ones. I think there came about a gap between your intentions and how it was read and responded to.

Btw, most beauty salons have male pedicurists. Forget a few inches above the ankles, they ‘do’ you upto the calves and are extremely matter-of-fact and above-board. There are women of all ages and from different fields (the other day Yana Gupta was before me)…I am sure they see it as a job and the women do not wonder what goes on in their minds or elsewhere.

Yes, you could go and buy a packet of condoms...these days all you have to ask for is “chhatri”. It might be pointed out that these polite terms have been coined for the benefit of men who shy away from purchasing the rubber. Would they too be victims of perversion then?

PS: When I was in Karachi a certain male acquaintance wanted us (another female acquaintance, young enough to be his daughter, and I) to challenge him to ask for condoms at the hotel lobby shop. He lives in the West and yet he thought it was a huge deal…did he want to prove he was bolder than the locals? Or was he being a tease? Had the shopkeeper looked at him quizzically, we would call him perverse. I think the ‘respectable’ gentleman was even more perverse.

PPS: Sameena, I am not looking for a response at all. I just had to voice my thoughts aloud and hope that it makes some sense at least to you, who I have directed the post at.

Regards,
Farzana

I had somehow missed this earlier.

#9 Miriamk
[…i often think about that when i’m enjoying dessert…]

My reference to men being the best things since apple pie was purely metaphorical and not to be taken literally; never to compare the physical sweetness of an apple pie with that of a male member – of the species. To the best of MY knowledge, the latter is not edible.

nazarhayatkhan #27 writes ``...but in the Government Departments, the women, in general, have a very low productivity and create many such social problems. These are usually from low middle class unlike in the corporate sector.``

Casting aside the fact that I have seen enough male government workers who are SO dumb that they couldnt find their own butts even if they used both hands, what you have written here is so offensive! I have often seen you rant against mullahs. But frankly your thinking reveals that you are a mullah yourself. First you go where a woman is sitting and start smoking. And when she complains to a ``mullah type`` manager, you have her removed. And then you generalize that ALL female government workers are inept and socially problematic!!!!!

So what do we do now? Put these women back inside the house? Aha!!!!! So now finally you have come to appreciate the wisdom of Mullah Omar!! Dair ayed, durust ayed! Welcome!!!!

I have had a bad experience with a woman in the working environment. Since that day, I vouched never to keep a woman as secretary or in the staff.

I never used to smoke in my office. I used to go in the adjacent computer room to to have a smoke.

Then a woman got positioned there who did the computer job. I continued my smoking pattern of going there and smoking.

One day she went to our Mulla type admin incharge with tears in her eyes telling that `I go to her room to smoke` infering as if I was philandering with her in my easy recreational moments.

Anyway, I was furious and got her removed immediately and vouched never to get another woman in the staff.

Maybe such is not the case in the sophisticated Multi-national environment but in the Government Departments, the women, in general, have a very low productivity and create many such social problems. These are usually from low middle class unlike in the corporate sector.

(now plz don`t blame me for smoking in another`s room. I expect the subordinates to get used to my bad habits or on the onset state that they can not stand smoking)

nhk

Re: # 9

miriamk,

LOL.... but in a way that`s pretty cruel of women to first show the skin and then expect ALL men to act as monks.

I know like most decent women you didn`t mean to `show` the skin, but how does one tell a pervert from a gentleman before the act, and how to prevent one from getting close to you? I hope you follow my drift.

ntsyed :-)~~

samina:

just a thought after reading several male chowkies protest unfair characterisation of their endangered species ...and a suggestion for chowk editors;)

please place a bold notice before such articles in future:

not for the humour impaired

this may alleviate some chest pains and a rush to the pharmacy

;)

t

there`s this big madam in an ngo pushing me into a relationship that i dont want. well, i maybe more interested in the files she has on the shelves but her eyes suggest otherwise. there there`s this banker who eyes more of my job and reasonable bank account than servicing my banking needs and calls up to tell me my balance. though i would not have inquired about it. then again this media and pr manager of a high profile multinational whom i once helped getting her thing done at my office. i only tried to be courteous to a mutual reference who referred her to me. two years since then, she makes it a point to drop me hints, lines and passes whenever possible. two more examples but i aint not here proving a rasputine or something.

i never complained. i know for a fact that a large number of girls enjoy such teasing at times but as there cannot be generalized males, there cant be females too. trying to prove males as creatures having their balls fitted in their eyeholes and mind full of semen that gets a five seconds erection...well...what to speak of the mind that imagines the erection of the salesman!

sameena: i enjoyed the article but unfair generalization from the fair gender.

cheers.

Re: # 20
Re: # 21
I use to wear my own shoes since childhood i never feel comfortable if some one giving me pair and putting them on feet since i can do that by my ownself.
I AGREE WID BOTH OF YOU

Funny article.

I have alwys wondered what the women and the tailor are doing when they are taking measurements. And have always wondered why all the bar salesmen in Pakistan, are men........

The shoe salesman part was new. Didn`t know they behaved like that..........

Sameena,
your article is good for smiling .
otherwise in Pakistan ,I never in my life heard such a complaint.we always try our shoes our selves.as far as tailor master is concerned ,only those women eager to give fresh measurment every time who wants master touch.that is the reason spouse is always against giving measurment.Let them enjoy if they want in this way.ha haha