Vandalism

First, it didn't make sense. Second, even if you tried to comprehend, it was vague and ambiguous. Abstract like a piece of art carelessly done with no responsibility. I am not a vehement hater of the abstract but you see, this is a short story; I'd like to stick with the reality rather than disconnected thoughts. Good piece, though. Very enjoyable and even though it was unclear, made sense to us in our own ways.

I must say, a very well written piece...
absolutely amazing
This is the kind of stuff that you can read a number of times and not get bored once!

``What forces you to deviate from the present?``
``The past.``
``The past is uncertain, trust the present.``
``My existence is what is uncertain.``

..
These lines alone tell the whole story!

Re: # 13

beejay

I do have thick skin. I am totally open to criticism thats what makes you work on your abilities even more. Actually your interact did not put me down I was kind of enjoying it. It gets people to think. Jokes apart i dont intend to be a big big writer or even a successful one, I just want to write with heart and just want to bring out some hidden thoughts. well if you were trying to pull my leg you did not succeed. i was smiling all the time on the interacts i received even on cayennes.
but somehow i think you got a bit unpleased with my reply. i am refering to the big red thing i mean you do have a sense with colours and big fonts.

#9, #11 Sadaf

[You’ve been doing a lot of thinking. But all in the wrong direction I must say.]
I knew that. I was pulling your (and others’) leg(s)! Looks like at least one person fell.

Now here is my REAL advice.

Rule number one for a successful writer (which NO successful writer will ever tell you (you see, they wish to remain successful themselves while you fail, so they will give you all kinds of platitudes for advice – like “keep writing…” – while they keep laughing)):

(1) Develop thick skin!!

You are most welcome!

Re: # 3

Bingo! You totally got the point because there is no point to get to. Why does every piece of work has to summarize into a point?
There are different assortments, precious moments, some losses, some dreams of getting to an unshakeable position and a simple irresistible and unwanting company of a person.

Re: # 2
I think it’s not the girl who is thinking too much, its you! Coming up with plots and sequels (plausible ones and potential ones) Boy! You’ve been doing a lot of thinking. But all in the wrong direction I must say. Some things don’t need to have a future or a past for that matter. Some writings simply live up to the moment.
Making categories, shaping up things and labeling them to be of the real world and some of the world of dreams is totally an idiotic ideology. If having sex or wanting it in any ways makes you like the real world you are in a complete topsy-turvy. Imagination cannot be limited. Thoughts are not ruled out on the basis of partiality or preconceived notion.
With what you have perceived you have totally lost it. Conjoining various paths and allot of sensible concerns forms up the content of the article. It’s nothing more than a sweet picturing milieu.

Re: # 1

A person who has been doing a lot of same kind of reading condenses every writing to be of the corresponding value.

replies

#1 cayenne

A person who has been doing a lot of same kind of reading condenses every writing to be of the corresponding value.


#2 beejay

I think it’s not the girl who is thinking too much, its you! Coming up with plots and sequels (plausible ones and potential ones) Boy! You’ve been doing a lot of thinking. But all in the wrong direction I must say. Some things don’t need to have a future or a past for that matter. Some writings simply live up to the moment.
Making categories, shaping up things and labeling them to be of the real world and some of the world of dreams is totally an idiotic ideology. If having sex or wanting it in any ways makes you like the real world you are in a complete topsy-turvy. Imagination cannot be limited. Thoughts are not ruled out on the basis of partiality or preconceived notion.
With what you have perceived you have totally lost it. Conjoining various paths and allot of sensible concerns forms up the content of the article. It’s nothing more than a sweet picturing milieu.

#3 Cherry
Bingo! You totally got the point because there is no point to get to. Why does every piece of work has to summarize into a point?
There are different assortments, precious moments, some losses, some dreams of getting to an unshakeable position and a simple irresistible and unwanting company of a person.

# 5 Syke

What can I say? thankyou

#1 by cayenne on July 28, 2005 1:18pm PT
HUH?.This reads more like the beginning of a `gay` romance novel.....


Cayenne .... you read gay romance novels ??????????????????????????????

Nice one sadaf ...

the way I get it is its a story of a person who is standing at a crossroad, a crossroad which is not much alien to her, she very much knows which is the right path and which goes the other way, like most of us usually do; when we come across similar cross roads in life, but here the question of choosing the path is not to make a choice between which one is right or which one is wrong but probably its about to chose weather to make the mistake again or not .. Whether to do the right thing and regret the opportunity missed, to live a life once ...

ju tumhari maan lein naseeh-e tu rahey ga daman-e-dil mein kia
na kisi adu kee adavtein na kissi khushu kee murawatein ..

My favorite lines were ...

The world is full of centered theories, manipulative ideas, forceful cultural values, to which
People fall prey. I became a victim of vandalism. I had just shed tears on the burial of my egoistic, linguistic, over pouring ambitions and wild desires. Every thing seemed a simple equation now, with each sides balanced.

.....

Leaders, fundamentalists, fanatics, monarchs, democrats, fighters, rebels, Casanovas, admirers, womanizers all pave way to forces they believe in. The relinquish believe of their believe is belief. A blind magnetism of lust controlled by unarmed retaliation of victory on the cost of annihilation, treachery, destruction and death, is what wins them respect and supporters.

....



And most importantly beautifully written keep it up :)

#4 Cayenne

[What does BJ stand for??......]
Do you have to “out” my secret so?! And regarding the meaning of the initials – do you REALLY expect me to “spill the beans” right into your face? I don’t think so! Just use your imagination!

Watever your on, can i have some......??

It sure did the trick...you get to write an whole article..with making the subject doing all the thinking...boy great stuff!!

Re: # 2

BeeJay

Like you wouldn`t know?.Now, lemme think!!.What does BJ stand for??......

i honestly didnt get the point.

At the risk of alienating Cayenne (who PROBABLY knows what he is talking about), let me get this story “straight” (janitorial version):

(Plot:)
Girl thinks. Girl thinks too much. Girl has soul. Girl not likes real world. Girl likes stars. Girl meets boy. Boy wants sex. Girl thinks. Stars are too far. Girl thinks too much. Stars are not walk able. Girl thinks sex good. Girl wants sex. Girl likes real world. The end.

(Potential Sequel:)
Girl thinks. Girl thinks too much. Girl has sex. Girl regrets. Girl now not likes sex. Girl rediscovers soul. Girl likes stars. Girl thinks too much. The end.

(Plausible alternative plot:)
Ozer is hiding under bed. Ozer has no respect for readers. Ozer has fun. Ozer laughs. Chowk cries. Ozer is no good. Beat up Ozer. The end.

(Plausible alternative sequeal:)
Beat up Ozer more. The end.

HUH?.This reads more like the beginning of a `gay` romance novel.....