Muslims Not Married in America

what a waste of webspace this article is, the author sounds like he`s suffering from attention deficit disorder along with another mental illness

this is not a cohesive piece of writing and it sure isn`t coming from a cohesive mind.

Re: # 24
You say,``..Most Pakistani women in the middle class that my mother considered, for example, neither cooked nor cleaned. That was what servants were for. ...``

That is wonderful! Please tell me what they do with all the time on hand?-

Go to work outside, volunteering, investment, gossiping, politics or partying. or engaing artsy pursuits!

These points which you mentioned are not soley found in Muslim women but a lot of women immigrants in the states who have to juggle and find sanity between two cultures share the same problems/confusions etc.But since, i am a desi living in desi land only, i can not speak on behalf of women based there , but, i really want to believe what Zahra J said.

And, pray tell me, y, you have focused so much on single Muslim women?Where are the obvious faults in Single Muslim men in the states?

how, ironic: men always blame women for all their problems. tsk! tsk!

This article is so misguided and notion ridden that it reads like camp...thanks for some real satire chowk staff!

``(2) Kafir: They are the same inside and out, but don`t believe in living an honorable life, for example, based on the teachings of Islam. Good point is at least you know what you`re getting. ``

Yeah, this is Stuka. Lucky Stuka. Hamza Yousaf is a bigot.

My god,

As a 27 year old unmarried Muslim American woman, let me say, ur article is scary. someone else interacted and said, she didnt know where to start.

my two cents on this one:
it is difficult to find a man. we also dont really feel like we need men to cook and clean up after UNLESS we loved them for who they are and they loved us for who we are, that includes us, our bodies, our eccentricities, complexities etc (that is normal for all humans). many muslim girls in the US get married since they are supposed to ( i am speaking only from a S. Asian perspective...there are plenty of other muslim communities in the US) and they realize that they were supposed to get married and all that was told to them aboutit was not what it was cracked up to be and excaping their own mothers is really not enough reason to get married into another prison.

It is a problem since as an interactor put it (grunge i think), there are plenty of traditional women to marry (and consequently divorce) who are fair skinned, obedient and sub servient. good for u muslim men if that is what u want out of your life partner...its really sad that ur egos cant handle more but we have again, only ur mothers, women, to blame for that.

i want babies, i like to cook and i have a life that is my own and i am willing to share it with someone who shares my values and thoughts on life. its rally not that much to ask. and why must we worry about getting married later? aint nothing wrong with that. im fine with being a single mom too, though im not sure how well that goes down in islam. not very well culturally for sure but im sure islam is cool with it.

two cents finish.
more later
z.rizvi.

Re: # 17

Grunge,

I`d love to marry your sister!!

Re: # 26 haha, i wonder how`d u describe a Muslim `man`!
peace :)

Re: # 20 haha...good one unkil T!
And do read it away, wud ya? We know it ain`t any use to you, since you are as way past that age as one could get, still it might help your `future` generation in the long run! :) beta jawan ho raha hai, go Amreeka meiN nahiN , per us ke paRos meiN tau hai! ;)

regards

Muslim women in the west creep me out.They all resemble the `alam` woman .Creepy, devious and false.I don`t blame muslim men for putting off marriage or marrying elsewhere.

The main beef I have with your article is that you could have dropped the “Muslim” word and pretty much still made many of the same points. What you describe is also (by and large) true of Indians, too and the divorce rate is quite high (I know of three cases personally). You also make whole bunch of sweeping statements in the most general way (e.g., “We exhibit the attitude of a closed minded person, instead of having a student’s perspective.”) The tone of the article is also extremely “whine-like”. (If you are trying to make it funny, you need to do more work!)

Notes:
[Usually women put a lot of emphasis on the desire to be entertained and complimented by men. Some even say “Lie to me, to make me happy”.]
Some?

[…women who are looking for a temporary fix: to combat boredom, curiosity, confusion.]
I guess READING just doesn’t give the same level of satisfaction. Perhaps they could try WRITING!

[…developing the illusion that she is the most valuable commodity in heaven and earth. ]
And just when I was getting used to thinking that MEN have that role.

[(2) Kafir: They are the same inside and out, but don’t believe in living an honorable life, for example, based on the teachings of Islam.]
I guess that would rule out all those HINDOOS as potential husband material – talk about narrowing down your own options! (Apne pairon per kulharee!)

[Perhaps the diagnosis could be all summed up into two words.]
Why didn’t you consider this advice while writing this article?

grunge,

``in accordance with islam, i.e, stay at home, cook, clean, raise and take care of the kids.``

Woa...I missed this. You`re convoluting 1950s gender roles with ``Islamic`` values. The domestic diva role is hardly ``Islamic`` per sae. Most Pakistani women in the middle class that my mother considered, for example, neither cooked nor cleaned. That was what servants were for.

This offended her rural Indian sensibilities, where one is to wake with sunrise and start working in/out of the house, and retire when the sun has completely set. No doubt people from different ethnic backgrounds and social strata will have a different take. Many well-off Gulf Arab women do NOT take care of their own children, for example.

All can be ``in accordance`` (or reconciled) with Islam...but no single setup can`t please everyone. This hang-up for a sole, unitary way of practicing Islam is a political one. It`s also dangerous.

The fact is, you have a particular tradition in mind…and there is no monolithic Islamic tradition in this regard. Not by a long shot.

grunge,

You`d be surprised at how many working women are family minded. As far as I`m concerned, the so-called ``modern`` arrangements are simply the new tradition. The burden of raising a family in this society is, I argue, best handled by someone who was raised here.

Working mothers was a necessity for low income immigrant families such as mine was, so I`ve seen it work all my life. Dual income families is, in many cases, necessary for many to be squarely in the middle class. I don`t anticipate things being easy, but then a large part of that is how well I step up to bat...

To be sure, by seeking a career woman, I`m simply seeking a like minded person...but in the end I would want one who, like myself, is willing to prioritize family above all else.

Fazeel,

Thank you for providing an entertaining article. The following passage was quite hilarious. I am impressed by your open heartedness and acceptance of the newly acquired identity. Hats off to you!

[As the Muslima’s become more high maintenance, the men are wondering what is the new definition of being a good enough man. The divorce rate among American Muslims has gone from 2% to 35% in one generation. Men are wondering, how do they need to adapt with the new versions of Muslim women. Are we expected to live as domesticated pets, in a life of servitude?]

This was the best passage in this entertainment :)

I will elaborate later.

Re: # 20

Good One!

Fazeel Chauhan sahib:

…i hope you forgive me…i do…i mean i forgive you…and your aal…children and their children and their children…for suggesting such a teasing heading…i know..i mean i know!…no, i guess i do not know….but in this free world we can speculate...freely, no?...you must have considered all these titles like:

Single Muslim in America

and after mulling over this you must have discarded it…for it sounds like a comedy movie title… Christopher Columbus in Manhattan or Mirza Ghalib Bunder Road Per…good for you, sir…am in eclipsing agreement with you here…

then you must have considered

Sex and the Single Muslim(ah) and immediately slapped your wrist for even thning of keying in those horrible words, astaghfirullah…am in nodding agreement with you here also

then you must have considered

the Regeneration of Proper Ummah... and you must have sighed a sigh of pleasant relief…but on second thoughts you discarded it oo, because i suspect the ordinary temporals here would fail to understand what you were hinting at so broadly here...

then you must have considered

Unmarried Muslims In America and I suspect you must have immediately deleted this title…for this clearly side tracks the reader into entirely uncharted waters of single parenthood and naozobillah doing that ...and that too without that…astaghfirullah along with naoozobillah again!

so my dear fazeel chauhan, i am all praise for the heading you selected

jazakallah brother…

rgds

t

ps: my comments on the article itself will come later after i read it.