Muslims Not Married in America

#75 by Netizen
[…Its been a long time since I heard the word ``KLPD`` used in a sentence. By any chance are you from BITS, Pilani…..]

Where have you BEEN? KLPD is one of our ancient (most sacred) pearls of thought used extensively in all nooks and corners of the Indian subcontinent, in every university class-room and dorm, day and night, even bathrooms, in every position imaginable, since the early 1950’s. I personally think it was among the few worthwhile legacies the British left behind in the subcontinent, a perfect epitome of our various freedoms of choice, for all sexes! For the benefit of those individuals who are still unclear regarding what the initials KLPD stand for, I produce below my own understanding of it!

KLPD = Kanhaiya Laal Premi-chand Dukhiyare.

#66 MiriamK

Thanks, you have no idea how reassuring I find that you do not subscribe to the crap mentioned on that board. I am sorry about all the “unladylike” language (that you may have encountered) the janitor in me has been spewing all over the place. However, like all things in life (good and bad) this one shall pass, too! Someday perhaps, so shall the janitor! After his purpose is complete, or perhaps after His purpose is complete (I suppose there must be one (assuming there IS One, right?).) Again, sorry about my language!

So which one is you,

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, ``Please be gentle, I`m still a virgin.``

``What?`` said the puzzled groom.

``How can that be if you`ve been married ten times?``

``Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he`d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn`t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn`t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn`t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I`ve married you, I`m really excited!``

``Good,`` said the new husband, ``but, why?``

``You`re a lawyer. This time I know I`m gonna get screwed!``

#68 if it was a joke then

but seriously man, you need to get a life and find out, if you a sentient being can waste some much of your time in thinking up this little revenge I wouldnt be surprised if even doormats rebel.
Somehow, my gut instinct tells me that this was all played out in your imagination whilst you lay in bed cursing your girl friend for the KLPD!

Re: # 71

``Somehow, my gut instinct tells me that this was all played out in your imagination whilst you lay in bed cursing your girl friend for the KLPD!``

hahaha...
Its been a long time sinve I heard the word ``KLPD`` used in a sentence. By any chance are you from BITS, Pilani. I had few roommates from there, they used to use it often, along with ``basically``.

Muslim women in islamic countries, oppressed and suppressed in their homes, once they get to the west get consumed by penis envy.They think and act like men, most of them become lesbians and become devious and sly like that `Alam` b*tch, `cause that`s how they think men are.These women are so stupid they creep me out.No wonder no muslim man wants to go near these trolls.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says ``I don`t feel
like it, I just want you to hold me.``

I said ``WHAT??!! What was that?!``

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
``You`re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.`` She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, ``Can`t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?``

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn`t decide which one to
take so I told her we`d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn`t even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, ``That`s fine, honey.``
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, ``I think this is all
dear, let`s go to the cashier.``

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ``No honey, I don`t feel
like it.``

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?``

I then said ``honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You`re
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.`` And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, ``Why can`t you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?``

Apparently I`m not having sex tonight either.

# 68 by Soulat

LOL!! That was funny even if it wasn`t real.

Re: # 68
Apparently not!!

With that remark, I`d be surprised if you`d get any for a very long time.

Yikes, man.

Maybe, ``You need to hold me`` is code for longer foreplay. Get the hint.

miriam #65:

think universal yaar: it is about relationship between equals

if there are constraints -- religious or social or cultural than it is not a `stirve` on an even field...

just that!

lve

t

Beej:
#73

A total aside: I was not interacting on the Bunty aur Babli board but I did see your post re the refugees. Took me some time to go through the posts to understand what was going on. Hence the late answer which is a vehement NO! I do not subscribe to the narrow definition of conferring refugee status. I agree with anil et al.

#52

A general question I`m asking is, why does a woman need a man? Specifically, why does a working woman need a husband?

I think these economically independent women don’t need a man to be their provider. That doesn’t mean they don’t want fulfilling and lasting relationships with men. They just want more than the traditional desi husband-wife role allows them. Personally, I think that’s to be celebrated, not admonished. Men should want to be regarded as more than just “providers”. I would hope they have much more to offer on an intellectual and personal level than simply their earning potential.

The liberated woman isn’t looking for an indentured servant; rather she wants the man in her life to assume an active role in the marriage as a partner, and as a father to her children. What’s wrong with that?

There has been a blurring of gender roles (referring to the U.S. here), but again I regard that as a positive development. It allows couples to define what works for them in accordance with their personal brand of life. At the end of the day it’s about being with someone likeminded. If two people don’t share values and goals then it’s difficult to make a marriage work period.

qawali,

`` A general question I`m asking is, why does a woman need a man? Specifically, why does a working woman need a husband?``

``Need`` in what sense, and why is this question asymmetrical wrt men?

`` One could say that YOU are the one ``creating mischief``.``

One could...but the point was the term is NOT to be treated lightly. It`s all nice in the abstract, but the idea that YOU can identify who is and who is not a mushrik, munafiq, etc. opens you up for criticism just as well.

“Possibly one of the factors is colonization where we were taught to hate ourselves and what looks like us, to sever us from our roots”

I dunno if colonization explains my mothers refusal to consider anyone from particular parts of India…

To keep the discussion on track:

There are a lot of QUESTIONS raised in the article. It would be productive if readers respond to those specific questions also. A general question I`m asking is, why does a woman need a man? Specifically, why does a working woman need a husband?

Reply to #45 by Raw_Dust on June 29, 2005 5:29pm PT
Mut`ah is a seperate issue we are talking about the rate of falling marriages. The reason I think is that the current generation women are more independant than the previous one`s and they fail to understand the power of compromise. I don`t want to sound like a sexist but this applies to both sexes. We fail to compromise on petty issues and these petty issues result in the break up. This new found liberty and independence of women tends to induce this sense that they can live witout a man and can raise a family I personally admire this thing but rationally thinking this is where the downfall starts. You cant me mother and father at the same time. It took Americans a generation to understand the real meaning of liberty and independence. The hollow promises of liberty of Hyppie era could not last even a decade and they had to turn to their past to seek solace. We desis are passing through that same metamorphisis state we are blindly accepting the norms ofwest without realising the facts that these might not the useful to us in the future. We dont learn from other`s experiences and we will never learn becuase the intelligentsia among us does not have the moral courage to challange the change with valid reasons. Those stupid people that think they will find their IDEAL partner live in fool`s paradise. Their is nothing IDEAL in the real world unless you fake it and marriages dont last long on fake promises. As far as the issue of shadi.com or shodionline is concerned no one takes them seriously. Marriage is a serious issue which you cant resolve on message boards and instant messengers.

ATISHRAJ
atishraj@hotmail.com

How on earth is America a female-dominated society?