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urstruly,

...... i have to go to a meeting ....... will be back in two hours ....... looking forward to lunch

regards,

hamid

Saminasha#84:

``Why is THIS acceptable?``

No, it is not acceptable. But the chowk management is, to some extent, also responsible for the same. The chowk abuse of women started with the vicious, sexual attacks and innuendos directed at sadna long before salim & co. showed up here. One or two very well-loved chowkies abused her and some of the most esteemed chowkies cheered them on. Sadna left, came back and left again. But when that transgression was overlooked, a precedent was established and things at chowk have gone downhill since then.

samina:

reread dost-mittar`s #79. when you ask him what is ``kind and decent`` about exploiting chowk labor. . . mittarji is not referring to salim as kind and decent. he is referring to temporal. your question would suggest to some that he was defending salim`s behavior, and i don`t believe that to be the case.

Iron Mask,

I`m not participating these ridiculous circular and self serving arguments with interactors with zero credibility. This is the whole ``blame the victim`` trope-instead of holding the perpetrators responsible. Typical desi misogynistical rationales.

hamidm

I know you are nervous but so am I.

Re: # 98

its called shoot first and then ask questions.

But then everyone considers his/her lament/predicament to be more important...you see this every day in the class rooms of most high schools

Dost,

I was one of those interactors who found the abuse of Sadna unacceptable-and said so again and again. Women on this website are constantly attacked.

I also apologise for misunderstanding who you were referring to in a previous post as ana has indicated. I am very happy that you are speaking in temporal`s defense.

ana,

thanks for the clarification!

Iron Mask,

I beg your pardon? Who are you to suggest anything? Go back to your s and m thread-it seems you are the only one there, tellingly enough.

Re: # 99
okay right they are bad people. So what next? What is it that you want to do? what is it that you want done to them? what is it that you want them to do? What are the lessons you can learn from this/these episode(s)?

Do it as an exercise in your spare time. and then read this out loud into a mic whilst taping it. And then listen to the whole thing yourself again and again.

Iron Mask,

What is galling is that interactors like you-probably privilleged, elite, male-think this is a joke...like your s&m thread...women ``like`` to abused according to you, isnt that right?

Idiot.

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Iron Mask,

No one read it. We all looked at the headline and were bored. But as your fantasy life seems to operate independently of facts, do knock yourself out.

Goodbye and good riddance.

Saminasha#89:

``If you find the ideas of violation of privacy inconvenient to your argument, ...``

I answered that in my post#79:

``But I do know that the world has changed and, so, I agree that the rules regarding privacy must be followed....Regardless, as a simple matter of courtesy, if someone has posted information about someone else without knowing their true feelings about it, the least they should do is apologise for their act.``


``I also apologise for misunderstanding who you were referring to in a previous post as ana has indicated. I am very happy that you are speaking in temporal`s defense.``

You did not say anything needing apology. But thanks.


hamidm2, Urstruly:

You guys are nervous? It must be a case of:

Ulfat na sahi nafrat hi si hi
Is ko bhi mohabbat kehate hain :-)

It all seems to be getting personal here, not that hasn`t happened before. Instead of focusing on the article the focus is on the writer`s character (or the lack of it). It will be far easier if Chowk provides a separate message board (or log book) where we could all contribute insults to T (or any nominated Chowkie for that matter) and leave this board for those who have comments specifically related to the writing. Hey maybe this could be a different web site Chowk Insults..no hang on that is already happening here..subscription site anyone?

Personal abuse in a public domain is a part of life. One has to learn to handle it. I say this as someone, who may rank no. 1 on the list of those who have had abusive trash hurled on them on this site. One thing I have learnt is that, ``Iss hammam mein subb nangay hein.`` Everyone from Saminashah to Dost-mittar to Ana to hamdim to Urstruly to Salim etc. have, at some point or the other, gotten frustrated and resorted to personal abuse, with me. And this is only the list of individuals who have done so on rare occassions. There is a long list of those who do it one a daily basis. When I have gone back and read comments, I have discovered that others like arjun_n have been having a one-side abusive conversation with me, for years. Even though I never bothered to read their comments and thus never replied once!..........

It never bothers me.......I don`t know why others get so bothered by it.......Civility means different things to different people, and the last thing this site needs is a self-righteous Chowk police.......That is the day I will leave this site........

Posting personal information about individuals is in bad taste. Pictures are specifically in bad taste. But, at the same time it is not illegal to do so. If I put my pic on the Internet, it becomes part of the public domain (unless I specifically copyright it). After that it is fair game; at least from a legal point of view. Bad taste, but fair game.......

Tackling abusively hostile situations is one of the skills one must master, if one wants to get into debates on a public domain, or into public life. It is a skill that I am begining to realize very few people, on this site, seem to have mastered. To me, the moment someone starts abusing, I declare victory and move on. It is an indication that the person has run out of arguments and is now frustrated and has nothing left to offer, except abuse i.e. I have won the argument.

P.S. As for this article, any personal attacks on temporal are wrong (though not illegal). However, any attacks on his writings are very fair game. He, himself, has made a career out of that. And I have had heated discussions with him trying to remind him that he should not go overboard in becoming a critic, before establishing his own credentials, as a writer. He may end up giving young aspiring writers, wrong advice.

As for the criticism for this specific article, all I can say is:

Qissa-e-gham kissay sunaon
Itnay ansoo kahan say laoon