Tariq Hamid July 15, 2005
#25 Posted by horizon on July 19, 2005 2:22:20 pm
Re: # 21Burpinder,
What can I say after your comments addressed to Ozer bhaijan?
What can I say after your comments addressed to Ozer bhaijan?
#16 Posted by horizon on July 18, 2005 6:22:20 am
Re: # 13 Ozer, thanks for the detailed comment. Just to let you know that though ``Far from the madding crowd`` by thomas Hardy is a very well known book and I have definitely heard a lot about it but call it a con-incidence or whatever, but the fact is that somehow I have missed on reading that book.
#11 Posted by miriamk on July 16, 2005 8:02:21 am
tariq:
this has the potential of being a nice vignette. i think some basic cleaning would’ve gone a long way. beejay offers some sound advice. you have the right attitude about learning from feed back. please keep writing. and don`t be “half-hearted” next time :).
best
miriam
this has the potential of being a nice vignette. i think some basic cleaning would’ve gone a long way. beejay offers some sound advice. you have the right attitude about learning from feed back. please keep writing. and don`t be “half-hearted” next time :).
best
miriam
#12 Posted by horizon on July 16, 2005 10:19:41 am
Re: # 11 Miriam:
Thanks for taking time not only to read my article but also to post your comment. Points noted. Let`s see what improvement there is in my next article.
Thanks for taking time not only to read my article but also to post your comment. Points noted. Let`s see what improvement there is in my next article.
#10 Posted by miriamk on July 16, 2005 8:02:14 am
tariq:
this has the potential of being a nice vignette. i think some basic cleaning would’ve gone a long way. beejay offers some sound advice. you have the right attitude about learning from feed back. please keep writing. and don`t be “half-hearted” next time :).
best
miriam
this has the potential of being a nice vignette. i think some basic cleaning would’ve gone a long way. beejay offers some sound advice. you have the right attitude about learning from feed back. please keep writing. and don`t be “half-hearted” next time :).
best
miriam
#8 Posted by BeeJay on July 15, 2005 1:12:24 pm
Tariq:
(I am only a janitor, but that does not stop me from giving my two cents.)
You picked a legitimate theme – that courtesy must be given more and expected less.
However, it does not come through almost till halfway!
Your work can improve if, after you write it, you read through it several more times (hopefully with sufficient time gaps) to address silly mistakes (typos, missing words in sentences, etc.) and also ensure internal consistency. At this point, it also may be better to be bold and try drastic reorganizations to see which one works best for you!
Perhaps the opening line could have been shaped to communicate the theme better! (For example, I would have started out with something familiar like the Rodney Dangerfield`s “I tell you…I get no respect!” in a single line opening, then proceeded with the examples, perhaps in a progressive order of “punch”. The examples appear to be a little too wordy!
The connection of the title to the body appears to be very feeble and febrile.
#3 by kaurasach
[chowk published this `novice` `s feeble attempt at writing - and rejected my masterpiece.........what has this world come to??!!]
Kaura, you may choose to look at the (possible) bright side! “Novices” may need encouragement; but Kaura, the firmly (some might even say too firmly) established in-house talent, is already burning bright as sunlight and needs none – and that’s the “plain truth”! Right?
#9 Posted by horizon on July 15, 2005 1:18:22 pm
Re: # 8 Thanks a lot Beejay. To be honest, I sent the article half-heartedly straight from a draft that I had saved earlier. Hence typos and all. But will surely keep in mind for the next time.
#6 Posted by kaurasach on July 15, 2005 12:39:56 pm
horizon,
nothing personal. i am not an excellent writer either........i am just dismayed at the lack of quality on FP.....sorry for the frank and upfront remark - aadat say majboor.
good luck.practice and ll bcm good.
nothing personal. i am not an excellent writer either........i am just dismayed at the lack of quality on FP.....sorry for the frank and upfront remark - aadat say majboor.
good luck.practice and ll bcm good.
#7 Posted by horizon on July 15, 2005 12:48:04 pm
Re: # 6 Hey I know that and I too was also playing only. It`s true sometimes best of the articles are not selected for some reason or the other. Yet, I must say that the quality here is still a lot better than on other sites.....
#3 Posted by kaurasach on July 15, 2005 12:14:43 pm
chowk published this `novice` `s feeble attempt at writing - and rejected my masterpiece.........what has this world come to??!!
#1 Posted by rhj on July 15, 2005 11:28:45 am
hmmm...interesting. Which century or year are you talking about ?
listing 16-32
1
2
Interact Index
US Elections 2008 Primaries
Latest Interacts
- Eklavya: Once Pakistan or any... It's A Deal After
- Eklavya: Uppal ji, glad to... Is Mumbai a hub
- chaltahai: If it wasn't the... US Commando Strike in
- hamidm2: Re: # 153 tahmed mian, ....... US Commando Strike in
- akcheema: Re: # 2 hmmm ....... Dr Afia Siddiqui's Case
- chaltahai: So another day....another bombing... US Commando Strike in
- mike195879: Aafia Siddiqui’s husband... Dr Afia Siddiqui's Case
- tahmed32: second para. should be... US Commando Strike in








reply to this interact
write a new interact
add to favorites
flag objectionable content