Dear Allah

``You do know that you were sent here to serve me`` said Nawab.
``What`s that?``, replied I wondering where this conversation was leading upto.
``I meant that your sole reason for existing is to serve me``.
``Ha! Fat chance, now do you want the chicken or beef for dinner?`` said I rummaging through the tins of dog food.
``I kind of bored eating that brand, did you get that organic steak I had asked for?``
``Well I was sort of hoping to serve it on the weekend. Don`t give me that look. OK! OK! Just give me ten minutes, I`ll get it ready for you``.
``Good boy! Now you get that dinner ready, I need to chat with the poet``.
``Chat? Are you racking up the mobile bill with your SMS chats again?``
``No! I am using the internet these days``.
``So still using the `Snoop Doggy Dog` nom-de-plume while chatting with the poet. Heh! Heh! Got any more ditties to share? Ha ha``.
``Obviously you havn`t evolved sufficiently to have an appreciation of poetry and other fine arts. Hopefully your cooking skills will improve too. Just remember not to overcook the steak like the last time. And while you are at it make some Ratatouille as a side dish, I need to increase my veggie intake``.
``Sometimes I think all I ever do is cook for you``.
``Well I did say your purpose in life is to look after me``.
``Hah! Thats what you think, by the way I got that Lassie DVD collection that you had asked for``.
``Good! Does it have all the special features?``
``I think so. Does it matter. Alright I`ll check``.
``Good boy, just keeping adding to your good karma. I am keeping a count for you``.
``Yeah sure and you have a direct line to God I`ll bet``.
``Well Mrs. schmidt is drawing the blinds these days``.
``Who the hell is Mrs Schmidt and why is she drawing the blinds? Oh! That reminds me `Do you know how to make a Venetian blind`, get it `Venetian Blinds`?``.
``I do and remember when your karma is counted and totalled we won`t hold your jokes against you``.
``Ok Dog Bhagwan jee anything else we can do improve?``
``Scarcasm will get you nowhere. Now tell me, kids listening to you these days?``
``Yeah! You noticed that too - no whining and crying - just as if God`s been listening to my prayers``.
``Well being the ultimate and most powerful one has its benefits at times``.
``So you think I should pray harder for that Ferrari too?``
``Just get the dinner served on time``.
``Here I am talking of God ji and Dog ji wants to be fed. Its ready now, here you go dinner is served``.
``As I said you do know that you were sent here to serve me``.

Urstruly,

If you agree to work with me, we could grant temporal one of his wishes.
You could talk to mr schmidt … and I could have a word with mrs temporal …

re: khamkhwa # 39

Beg your pardon? Is there an argument hidden somewhere in that? :)

Re: # 39

...only ralph...errr kaalchakra knows best...;)

Shobig_sifar

Since everything is `perhaps` and `may be,` you shouldn`t be too sure you are receiving signals from God. May be it is somebody else sending you your signs and signals.

You wouldn`t want to be deluded, would you?

shobig_sifar:
you are not trying to play Jesus here .. are you? and even that with only one wink?

you`r welcome.

Re: # 45 Perhaps He is more prone to `sign` language, and may be I tend to have an ardour to decipher the same...

raw #46 here`s a return thanks, for being sane enuf to add `i figure`....;)
peace

shobig_sifar:
let me give you a straight and simple answer without these winks and self-serving bull crap people write in the name of being i-dunno-what. I doNot believe in any God. I am an Agnostic And i figure, the probability of any kind of god/God existing is the pretty much the same as the probability of Bangladesh reuniting with Pakistan.
Now, go back to your winks and witticisms - i must say it is a very very cute act.

many thanks.

shobig_sifar

How do you know about these things that the rest of us do not know? Just talked to your God?

Re: # 42 Kaal, luckily `our` God is not scared of spreading his private number around. ;)
peace

so big:

my last post here.

if god indeed is so humble to have invited mr. t. to write to him, then mr. t`s assertion that ``he`` (god) is not interested is a rather arrogant one in my humble opinion. i mean he is no job here. (and i mean ``job`` from the old testament lest you should fail to comprehend again)

but that is exactly the problem with us insaan log: our arrogance. and chowk is case in point.

peace and blessings to you as well. jeetay raho.
ana

So many people here have God`s private number, it`s positively scary.

Re: # 40 Thanks for the clarification, I indeed have lost quite a few senses over the last few years. :)

[someone should have pointed out to mr. t. that the god he claims to believe in doesn`t need rambling emails either]
what if that God Himself is humble enough to invite Mr T to ask and even to complain...in verb or in black and white? What ailes us....?
on that `a` bit, I thought `han, bolo, kia hai` served the purpose better....afterall...it`s hard to distinguish on the basis of merely one out of the 26 alphabets. No?
peace

so big sifar:

i think we`re all bloody confused here. that IS the point. so why pps about ``confused paisans`` who aren`t just confused but have disagreed vehemently with what the writer has to say?

oh and this writer isn`t ``repetitive`` or ``preachy`` in the least bit. LOL. (no sour grapes, just a ``clearer`` observation that i made a while back)

oh, and thanks for pointing out how i should sign my ``name``. i really didn`t think it was that big of a deal. but then it serves me right for making an appearance and commenting on something that isn`t really that big of a deal!

remember that line from U2`s ``bullet the blue sky`` : ``well the god i believe in isn`t short of cash mister.`` someone should have pointed out to mr. t. that the god he claims to believe in doesn`t need rambling emails either. but different strokes for different folks and all that. . .

regards.

p.s. perhaps you have lost your sense of ``comprehension`` if you`re going to use apprehension instead of comprehension. :) (``must needs be`` is an older usage, in english prose and poetry for ``must be`` or ``is necessary``. the rest of the sentence is easy enough to comprehend, and needs no reviewing on my part)

re: t bhai # 22,

As I once told you, you underestimate yourself.

You are a good, honest man. You are a person of solid integrity. You must also be a great neighbor, and a cherished friend to people of all religious affiliations.

But you subscribe to a deceptive and extremely harmful ideology. You do that because you do not understand it.

Re: # 36 [the writer of this piece and more than a few pakistanis drowning in denial must needs be the bearers of goodness and truth.]
does that need rephrasing/reviewing, or have I lost my sense of apprehension??
p.s If raw_dust is not confused, the God he belives/disbelieves in, surely is. ;)
p.p.s technically and rationally speaking, an `n` and an `a` would take approximately the same amount of time, or perhaps even lesser, in typing down as would a `.` :)
regards