So Long Farewell

Dost-mittar ji,
Hausla afzai ka shukria. I haven`t submitted it to any other journal except Chowk.

I hope you like the movie.
Regards,
saman.

Saman:

The Indian High Commisssion is currently holding a film festival in Ottawa and Fiza is one of the films. Upon your recommendation, I plan to see it. Talking of films, your reference to `God incarnate on earth` reminded me of the song: Tujhko nahiN dekha hum-ne magar, pur iski zaroorat kya hogi, ai maaN teri soorat se alag Bhagwan ki soorat kya hogi?

Saman:

A very touching story. I would hope that you have submitted it to other journals as well. Shaabash! keep writing.

Ijaz,
You are too generous in your praise!
I had feared this morbid piece would dampen spirits!
My spirits were literally down before I read your post. Thank you for lifting them up!
BTW, I had replied to your earlier post but am surprised to have lost it.

Urstruly,
Thankyou for the appreciation. I feel so encouraged.

Miriamk,
The Urdu verse is from the movie Fiza. The lyrics are by Gulzar and Jaspinder Narula’s rendition never fails to moisten my eyes. On the whole Fiza is worth a buy; do get an audio cd at least, if you can.
I am glad you liked the expressions. Thank you.

Faiza,
Your ‘Saman Saheba’ makes me feel like a mohteram hasti!
The description seems to be rich in words because it was a deliberate effort. I wanted to try my hand at some serious writing using rich words as you say. Remember the last time I was censured for writing something light and funny?! This was a test for me to see if I could write otherwise. I have always felt handicapped by my restricted vocabulary; my inability to go deep into emotions and describe the state of affairs and the surrounding was another drawback that always plagued my mind. Perhaps my light and funny take on things was responsible! This effort makes me feel like a grown up!
But the first par still makes me wince. It could have been better phrased.
Also, I wish the photo frame was on an étagère and not on the mantelpiece and a word or two about the dying candescence of the candelabrum would have been in place too!
What do you say?!

Regards to all,
Sameena/Saman Khan.

Salam Saman Sahiba

Hope you are well...

Speechless at the brevity of the piece but yet the depth of the metaphors with which you have captured the emotions of the daughter. This is very different than some of the other short stories you have submitted mainly becoz of the richness of the language used...nonetheless, a beautiful read. Write more and write often:) Take care...

Faiza Hussain

saman:

nicely done. i especially liked the story as it progressed after the urdu verse. it became very poignant

She had been done to death many a time by life before. this sentence says so much.

i also liked: God`s incarnate on earth. so very true.

Saman,

just as one loses heart, people like you intrude like angles and raise spirits.
Bravo! and Cheerios

sameena has handled a very difficult subject quite masterfully. I am looking forward to see more writing from you.

t!
Nawazish!
Aur dekha aap ney, jab light aur funny hote they tau kankar pather jaaane kya kya baraste they, aur ab serious ho gaye tau koi nigah bhi nahi dalta!
Jayen tau jayein kahan?!
Or should it be, likhein tau likhein kya..........

A note about your letter to Allah Miyan...
My server was down so couldn`t interact on time........
Fikar not, He knows it all.............bus dheel day rakhi hui hai dono fareeqon ko!

Regards,
Saman.

Beejay,
I am afraid another clarification is needed.

Its not the mother but the woman in the daughter whose self respect lay beaten.
The verbal explosion came from the man in her life, who despised her face because it resembled her mother. That is why she denied her mother, in a way taking revenge, holding her responsible for the humiliation she, the daughter suffered.
Excuse me again if I seem to have caused confusion.
;)

Thankyou again for appreciating the description............it was a concerted effort.........I deliberately structured the sentences so.............

Aur Allah reh aap ki inkesaari!
I for one acknowledge and am in in awe of your descriptive powers, so do not despair about `critics` as such out here!
Cheerios to you too!
Saman.

What a mother means to a daughter in many ways, means as much to a son.

No one can be so universal but a mother.
I like what Rabbi sings in his, `Tere Bin`. The descripsions and similis to love and adorations are only the fortes of a mother.

Jim Reeves also renders similar emotions in his `500 miles away from home`.

Or Hamid Ali Bela singing, `Mai no mein kunun akhan, dard vichorey da`.

I read this article four times and only then began to fathom the linkages and meaning. There are too many similies and extended methophers, which tend to confuse a speed reader. Most of us as such tend to rush to judgements too quickly. I too regret rating the essay 3 but now realise that I was too impulsive.

A word about, ``She wept and cried and wailed and moaned...and finally bid her mother farewell``.

Somehow this gives the impression of fraility. Women are very strong emotionally and much more persevering, specially once they are left to fend for themselves. The fact that they release their emotions much quicker than men makes them stronger.

A very good essay.

Cheerios

saman:

a few lines?

zindagi
muskurahatON ka ta’aqoob
aur ikhtitaam
ik zarra e khaak

zindagi
sawaalON kay sehra maiN
ik safar e naa tamam

lve

t

Saman, thanks for the explanation. I went back and read it again, and I believe I understand it better. I suppose within every woman there are three – the daughter, the individual woman herself, and the mother, each with very special needs, desires, strengths, and shortcomings! At various points in our lives, one or the other assumes a prominent role. When a cataclysmic event (like the one you describe) takes place, then there can be different feelings in each – all taking place inside the same (physical) person.

This second reading also reinforces that indeed there is nothing wrong with your powers of description – description which is exceptionally well-done. I am not a literary-type who could classify it and put in all kinds of technical superlatives that such people do – I just think it’s almost like being there and observing in person!

[She, a woman denied, never could crawl up to salvage the remnants of her beaten self-respect. She lay abandoned and discarded - a castaway. ]
I can never understand why our (South Asian) culture treats women, especially when they get older, so callously! It can be debated eternally which death was worse – the death of her self-respect or the physical end to her life.

Thankyou for your kind words, Beejay.

Its not a conflict between the mother and daughter but between the daughter and the woman residing within the daughter.
Excuse me if I seemed to have caused some confusion here.

Regards,
Saman.

This write-up very sensitively captures a scene of recent death and the emotions that one encounters – especially the guilt and the sense of loss that one suffers. When people are alive and around, we don’t value them. If they go away (in this case permanently) we miss them and imagine all kinds of things which could or should have been different. That’s the way life is.

I personally have a difficult time understanding/visualizing what you describe about having the mother and daughter both inside the same person tugging in different directions. But I do get some of it.

In any case, there is no catharsis like tears! Good job, Sameena!