Falling In

Good one! liked the image this line brings out `` when you turn cactus corners
round the tumbleweed you marked
for road sign.`` my favourite is ``Did you bring a lamb? An apron?
A scythe?`` strong emotions there.. write more.. thanks!

Re: # 16

That`s wisdom, that is! :)

: o )
To a partner like that, I`d say, Payan, the price is very high, I`m a luvva not a killa

urstruly # 14:

read my earlier reply to you with one change...sub poetry for religion.... the icon also stands

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#12 by temporal on August 23, 2005 6:59am PT
urstruly

drink a strong cup of coffee!

on second thoughts forget it

nothing would help you with this...the intricacies would blind-side you...what with religion and women ;)

Good ideas totally ruined - what a waste. A little bit of hardwork could have turned it into poetry.

Re: # 7

Ooh, what a jahilana thing to say! Yes she does have choices, and really good ones, like chasing butterflies in a space vehicle. Note please, no offense intended.

passionate and dark... trust you to manage something like that...:)

and yes... i am on chowk... just fun.. poetry and things... thanks for letting me know...

ponni.

kyla:

this was a lovely read. effective use of imagery. hope to see more from you.

You`re stepping up
to the altar of confusion
when you turn cactus corners
round the tumbleweed you marked
for road sign.

i really liked this.

rgds

Re: # 2
Wow! Thank you very much!

kyla:

...enjoyed the layers here...

...echo fakhra #1! keep them coming...heard you made it in that anthology...good work

digression: fakhra how about another one from you?

lve

t

Farzana:

The epitome of poem is beautifully kept and in my perception it gives the mystifying feeling when we are to perform the last most obligation in the later part of our life where there is no turning back of immense behind and you come out of your structure firmly to possess the rite and drink the simplest water. I have always imagined those unsteady feelings whether I will be able to complete it all ritually. Well if one goes in philosophy of Pilgrimage then it is when you register yourself all to god by recollecting your deeds and perfectly only (1) among thousands` life virtues are accepted. Though you could be sincere at the end by it is always conclusion of life behind not the life then and there. Similarly that of sacrifice which could happen in every year is also a testimonial for your on going life

``The road turns
the corner of light
too bright to see past and you
must follow the shape of a man
to taste simplest water``...

Indeed a good read.

the lioness persecutes
and waits
for the impeccable bastard
to choose and devour
what suits its malicious appetite

does she have a choice?

Re: # 3

Nadia: Thanks so much for your comment. The sacrifice was the main image I was drawing from. No obfuscation at all!

Re: # 4
Farzana: I`m glad you did. That`s what it`s all about. And I`m not entirely sure that`s not what I meant, so ...

Kyla:

This is so well-constructed and yet has an amazing emotional content.

I liked Nadia`s take on it. But I think your build-up of the rites of passage from deification to confusion to the `kill` was perfectly-pitched.

And since I like to go on my own merry way to `see` things...the following...

``The road turns
the corner of light
too bright to see past and you
must follow the shape of a man
to taste simplest water``...

I have meshed it in my mind as leaving The Past behind and yet forced to follow a mirage to quench an unknowable thirst.

I know that is not what you meant...but I loved what you wrote, and what I love I make my own!

There is an untold exhilaration in the poem and it takes me to the reputed resurgence as in the rite of pilgrimage when one denies his/her second nature very potently. Well due to my lack of grip of context I follow this vital theme till end of poem where last stanza stands very teasingly and it is also the source of mockery to write this bunch down. The slaughter of lamb/goat in the end of Hajj is a ritual which is cumplosarly followed after the whole days when one abstains him/herself from even rupturing dust of life and all itself but this lamb cutting like life seems a challenging aspect to untainted custom. However accurately speaking I got a vivid image of frames of video of famous Pearl’s murder when he was slaughtered very brutally alive. I think it goes with rhythm of that.

Forgive for obfuscating,
Cheers,

Beautiful as always.You are one of my favorite poets on chowk.

:) Good to see you here. Welcome back! Please keep going.