Immigrants: Na Idhar ke, Na uddhar ke

Interesting..there is a tinge of numbness and ..disappointment in this article..personally I`ve always believed that when one immigrates from one country to another..we are mentally left with a frozen condensed picture of what was once home. You see this on chowk like any other place..you have Indian and Pak expats who are still stuck in the old days of anti pak or anti India..it`s like they are frozen in the past ( you will probably see a few of those people responding as well and you might understand what I mean)..remembering slights and hurts of a bygone time which have no relevance to the present.

Readjusting to Pakistan is an achievement in itself, because you are not a cog in the wheel in that system..you basically have to create your own wheel and world to manage!

bat:

here is a cyber hug from TO

baat idhar ki oodhar ki nahiN hay

baat is dil ki hay!

jahaaN dil lagay wahaN raho

You are lucky, you have that option

lve

t

I have moved and migrated between three countries. And am trying to complete the circle by (hopefully) going back to where I started from. Each move has proven to be the best decision - a decision from which I gained far more than I lost.

If one is going to make huge decisions, in life, one has to ensure they have a rock solid purpose behind them. They cannot be just out of nostalgia or emotion. As long as one has a rock solid purpose, one can adjust around the surroundings - both good and bad. Having an achievable goal in front of one`s self as the motivator of the move, is important. Or having a solid reason for leaving a place...........

``Some of these flaws were not new to me, but sitting miles away in Canada, I had created a utopian picture of Karachi, neatly contructing it by conveniently eliminating the ugly.``

Every immigrant does the same especially during the first couple of years or so of the move...

We moved to Toronto some sevenish years ago and always thought we`d go back and settle in Isloo or Karachi. Earlier this year it hit me though that unless I managed to win the lottery without buying a ticket, I don`t think I could move back and live a decent life there. And I`m not even talking about owning the biggest house on the street or having the swankiest batmobile. It is the small things like being able to pay your bills online, not being jerked around when you go to a government office to have stuff sorted out, etc that I`ve learned to take for granted. You need to buy this kind of customer service back home and I simply don`t have the resources to do that. I don`t want to grease a clerk`s palm just to be able to pay the electricity bill on time.

As opposed to most Pakistani Canadians I`ve met, I love this country. Canada and Toronto particularly have to some of the most accepting and open places on this planet. Some months ago, I met a brigadier sahib who was working as a dealer in the illegal dish business. He started complaining about the discrimination and racism rampant in this country and how immigrants are marginalized professionally, etc. He concluded his bulletproof argument by praying to the Lord to let this country burn from Quebec to Prince Charles Island. At that point, I realized that there was no point of arguing with him and took my leave.

Batool –

Karachi is much better if you would`ve never left it or never lived in the West. You’d have then nothing to compare Karachi with and to you Karachi would`ve been fine the way it is. You would have been much happier that way. Your problem is exposure. As they say, ignorance is bliss.

forgot to congratulate you on the very well written article. Reading it was like going through the story of my own family. Scared me for a bit. :-)

Zakk: Yes there is a level of numbness. Of going through motions. of becoming used to this life all over again. But thats my ambivalence right there; i like this life and yet i dislike it.

Temporal: Cyber hug back! Yes youre right - i was fortunate to have the option. Dil tau yahan lagta hai maggar T.O ki bhi yaad aati hai.

Romair: I think very few people immigrate due to nostalgia. i am no exception. And i wouldnt change my immigration experience for the world

samb: thanks very much :). we had a little chowk group in Toronto...you should have gotten in touch. i agree with you that so much about pakistan is archaic and just plain wrong and yet there was a pull to return. I guess it`s a matter of priorities...

godot: I have an uncle (who has not lived abroad) who always says ``yeh america, britain sub bekaar hai,wahaan kuch nahi rakha hai, apna mulk apna hota hai`` and im sure you mustve heard the ``first-grade-citizen-in-pak/third-grade-elsewhere`` citizen argument. Not for a second did i feel like a second or third grade citizen in Canada. But i refrain from arguing with him because, as you say for a lot of people, ignorance is bliss.

This is one of a very rare times that a Pakistani living in Canada has not blamed something on Bush or the United States for her predicament. So congratulation for being the first.

Talented people move to Canada to become average.

Very nice article. You sort of gave words to many of my feelings. After spending 3 years in toronto, I have the same sentiments.

This is a much better place to live
This place has given me so much
but
I want to go back some day....

And I think 4 years is a great time to go back. Congratulations !

Jahanzeb

Here is a poem from one of my fav authors on the subject:

This is after his return to Panipat, having finished his studies/stay in England and US.

Beyond - Beyond Panipat!

Well, I could have done worse

Than break my studies and come
Back home from Inglistan.
Punjab, pandits, panir,
Panipat and pan,

Family, music, faces,
Food, land, everything,
Drew me back, yet now
To hear the koyal sing

Brings notes of other birds,
The nightingale, the wren,
The blackbird; and my heart`s
Barometer turns down.

I think of beeches, elms,
And stare at the neem tree.
My cousin slices a mango
And offers it to me.

I choose the slice with the seed
And learn from the sweet taste,
Well-known and alien,
I must be home at last.

By- Vikram Seth

p.s: I guess there is no perfect place really... we can just try to make the best of living where it makes most sense to be at a particular time... goodluck!

Good article. I enjoyed reading it. After having lived in the US for 15 years I share the same nostalgic feelings that the author talks about. I shall be returning back for a short visit for the very first time and i am just hoping that mother-land does not disappoint me.

Re: # 11

AAshee... And I hope that you don’t disappoint your motherland as well.

Have a good trip. Make sure to pack a couple of Burkas along. The blue ones are in these days.

Batool,
Well said, rare to see someone writing from heart. I think almost all of the DESIs go through this one way or another. You cannot live in two boats though.

Na Khuda hi Milla Na Wasal-E-Sanam
Na Idhar ke Rahe Na Udhar ke rahe
(I think my uncle`s servant said that)

You did not mention another aspect of life in Canada(not so much in USA), i.e. Economics, lack of jobs etc. You often hear that doctors, engineers are driving cabs in Canada to make a living.

My summary is this::
You will find everything in USA but your childhood friends and relatives.
Be an enterpreneur and start something of your own rather than live in Job scene.
Try to bring your culture here with your social gatherings etc.
Do visit twice a year to your country and experience it first hand.

I have met many Indians who actually came back to USA after going back after immigrating.

Re: # 11
Jab traffic Jaam mai Taxi Fuss Jaiyega aur 120+ F mai pasaaena niklega tab yaad karega Amreeka ko.

aho!!

Batool, an irrelavent question: Are you a Bohra?

I have been living in Europe since the past 4 years and I feel good here. I also feel at home in Pakistan. It depends on the person I guess...

being happy requires appreciating what you have. you have a family you obviously care for in pakistan, and you are able to live and work in canada with all its advantages that you correctly note. and you have the means to travel between the two in comfort, thanks to airline travel.

so, i think you should count your blessings instead of feeling sorry for yourself. then you will be happy when you are in pakistan and happy when you are in canada. or anywhere else.