The Hen Chase

Interesting scene, Ammara. I`d like to learn more about these characters, and I hope you continue to develop them...maybe a longer treatment of this story?

Please keep writing!

hey this one was neat. it actually went with the title.

Is this a real story?

yeah, seems like you were in a rush - the story would`ve clicked with a pause or two! slow down there speedy ammara!

Re#3 Temporal

T-bhai:

(I am in good mood today!)

What’s the matter – what happened to all that talk of compassion and of caring for the underdog and of chowk being just the right type of launching pad for many a “rough” diamonds – providing just the right type of positive welcome to instill a sense of confidence into those delicate daisies soon to blossom into brain-bursting Bollywood bombshells of the literary world – to bring succor to all and sundry – and perhaps even to eventually glow like kohi-noor itself!!

Was it just talk?!!! Trivial tea-talk by T?

So please be nice to the author – and resist your urge to chew people alive!

And if that does not persuade you – here is the surefire clincher!

Be kind to the author, lest you discourage her too much so she gives up altogether!

And resorts to poetry!

And then comes after your job! Yeah!

Sincerely,
Beej.

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Also:

Dear author (Ammara Ahmad),

Pay no attention to maniacal poets marauding maudlin melodies!

Seriously, you have a good bunch of pearls here – you just need to run through the string of time and take your time with it. (Note: I have a fondness for rural settings.)

Beej.

Beej saheb:

a quote that is telling

Tthese days i am working on a degree to get myself a better job. the biggest influence in my life is of Edward Albee, Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Kafka.

here is a challenge...a quick read and i found errors in double digits...can you make it to three digits?

rgds

t

ps: and ammara bibi...chalaiN choRain...next time!

Looks like your story also joined into that hen chase – and outran them all. Interactor #1 has a point. The story seems to be telling you – instead of you telling it.

Next time, it is probably a good idea to pause and catch your breath.

Nice, but goes too fast. You are still trying to dwell on the first scene and story takes you to the 67th.
Just details and details, no scenarios.