What Drives Men and Women of Indian Subcontinent to Infidelity?

Not a well written piece.

Many men do have an escape from the forced marriages. Women are becoming bolder too. They leave nothing to the imagination and explicitly flirt with youger men and boys. Adultery and affairs are not uncommon.

THE WRITER`S OBSERVATIONS HOLD TRUE NOT ONLY FOR THE MUSLIMS BUT ALSO FOR THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. THE NEED OF THE HOUR IS THAT WE INCULCATE MORAL VALUES IN OUR CHILDREN, A STRONG SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG, MARRY THEM OFF AT A YOUNG AGE SO THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE TO ADOPT IMMORAL WAYS THEREBY SAVING THEM FROM THE GUILT OF VIOLATING THE CULTURAL AND THE RELIGIOUS NORMS.

That’s a pretty rudimentary view of looking at sexuality or sexual attraction between sexes. According to your theory, a Chicken will kill a Snake because it has been kept away from one.

The author uses a very vague definition of morality. There is nothing immoral about two consenting adults having sex or pleasing one another. Unhappy or happy marriages have nothing to do with this. Sexual organs are there for the purpose of arousal. An elderly lady would prefer a cheating husband with working tool over an impotent faithful one (that’s just my opinion), and a man would be happy to have a hot infidel wife than sleeping with a faithful log of wood. (Heidi Klum, I hope you are reading this.)

Btw, those societies that you are admiring in the 2nd last paragraph are quite into adultery as well :)

... when chowk starts publishing such school-boyish works on it`s front page, i assume ferzana versey is too busy to contribute...;)

kulhaRee...
heidi klum doesn`t get off her lovely ass for anything below 6 figures...dream on...;))

Re: # 5

Khamkhua,,, are you suggesting that someone should write about having sex with a samoosa? I am trying to figure out which corner to poke in.

In terms of Heidi, there’s no law against fanaticizing. Is there?

Hard working business men of New York not having a lapse in moral judgment??

``I tried to tell him that maybe if he lived his life to the best of his ability (like the hard working businessmen of New York) he would not have such a lapse in moral judgment.``

kulharee#3: An elderly lady would prefer a cheating husband with working tool over an impotent faithful one (that’s just my opinion),

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err..I hope this opinion of yours is not based on experience.:-)

Re: # 8

Bhatti Sahib, do I come across as an old lady to you?

What drives men and women of Indian subcontinet to infidelity?

10: sex
9: garam masala
8: spirituality
7: bad english
6: lousy articulation
5: arranged marriages
4: mothers
3: arjun/urstruly types
2: money
1: sex

caveat for the author: the above in no way and by any stretch should be deemed a comment on the article itself. those comments might follow if and when i read it.

there is nothing in this article about infidelity..is it otherwise called kafiriyat?
clearly, the author seems inexperienced

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athar shiraz, I have not looked at your profile yet, but this was a rather good piece. a bit unconventional perhaps, but`s it`s all good. there are some grammar mistakes and some incoherentness, but you convey the essence. may I ask, there seems to be some soul-searching, some seeking for answers here... have you been victimized by rape? unwanted attention is tantamount to rape, in atleast a psychological sense, because it can leave a person highly disturbed mentally, and very vulnerable emotionally. you don`t need to answer me of course, but perhaps that is something you want to ask yourself.

on another tangent, such frank writing from a man is appreciable. it reads very much like what a woman would feel.

re #2 zainabsiddique

er... O. K.

how young do you think? age two good enough for you?

very well written..touches some important issues and exlains why we cover our women....because our men are not of the purest material themselves...

enjoyed reading it

Di.

Infidelity is not just confined to the Indian sub-continent. If that was the case, Desperate House Wives, would have not been a hit show.

Re: # 3
>There is nothing immoral about two consenting adults having sex or pleasing one another.

Oh, come on...try selling this to your wife or girl friend.

Re: # 16

aashee sweetie,

kaka has decided, right here, right now, to take you under his wings.. We shall discuss syllogism, argument making and thinking before typing.

After that, we will take over the world..

Not even good `masala` in this article, except vague references to
a handshake with an auntie. What a waste of good BWth.

Hein ji???

buk raha huuN junooN meiN kya kya kuchh
kuchh na samjhay khuda karay koi

aadaab.

athar,

i don`t get the point of your article ...... infidelity is a universal phenomenon - even jimmy carter admitted to lusting for playboy bunnies .......... and desis are no better or no worse than anybody else - of course, for most of them, it is hard to think of sex on an empty stomach .............. so, what is new ?

Chowk Staff:

1) This article is heavily edited. So much so that the meaning of what I was trying to communicate has been lost and it comes across as a pessimistic commentary on the current state of affairs. (The original version does not contain any masala either - just for those who are base enough to demand it. If you are Muslims you would be ashamed of yourselves and if you are not then: how appropriate to associate a deplorable cultural attribute with base desires).
2) Please replace it with the original article or remove it from your website alltogether.
2.1) Where are all the other articles I wrote under the nom de plume of A. Shiraz?
3) Summary of what I was trying to say: something about the lifestyles of present day Muslims (who are in some sort of transition) lends them to this social evil that is hard to quantify but is often under the radar and surreptitous by its nature. Ref. to English rectitude and you will discover that when Muslims were pious like the English were in their heydey. This rectitude and virtue often has varying forces acting upon it :
- choices made due to external societal conditions: tyranny, democracy etc.
- choices made due to internal conditions : a desire to lead a moral and virtuous life leading to changes in external conditions and choices made by people (e.g. Puritans with a desire for piety departing to start anew on a British colony).

Re: # 22

arthur,

...... so you you are trying to say that muslims are a bunch of shameless victorian hypocrites who put on an air of piety while they do all kinds of wicked things when (they think) nobody is looking - everyone will agree with that ........... dubai is a prime example ..........

My summary:

- Masterbation was denied to DESIs, now it is acceptable.
- Sexual openness, thanks to Bollywood
- Over Population
- Easy access to Condoms
- Use of Sex for Fun rather than Procreation.


Pakistani men in the West are most famous for having SEx in brothels, why?

Because, People in Islamic countries are by far and large sex-depraved and they look for outlets, when available.

Saudis/Pakis and other middle easterners are probably the most SEX-depraved men on this planet.

Re: # 24

Delhi yaar, that’s really interesting what you say. I had a friend who used to make love to a Manji (Charpai) – “bed cart”. He is now a Politician in Lahore. Most Pakistanis who go to brothels pretend to be Indians when asked their background. I think that’s pretty darn clever.

Are you in Delhi? I need some info... e-mail me at Kulharee@yahoo

Shukran

# 22, ok, now you`ve totally lost me. it was fine the way it is.

btw, if you are commenting on practice of Islam today, who are you to judge? and how can you be so sure Puritans were so ``pure``? what were they, aliens?

delhiwalla #24: ``- Masterbation was denied to DESIs, now it is acceptable...............``

Master Bation may be the name of Master sahib who teaches English to teenagers, in Eastern Punjab. Or would that be Master Bishen? However my guess is you mean, ``Masturbation,`` and not Masterbation. Unless, of course, Sardarjis (or our Indian colleagues, in general) have discovered a new technique, called Masterbation, which the rest of us are still unaware of......Do enlighten us......

``Pakis and other middle easterners are probably the most SEX-depraved men on this planet.``

I am truly amazed how highly you think of Pakistanis. You had already designated us to be evil, disoriented, pathetic killing machines. Are we now sexually depraved also? Now I am not a psychiatrist (like our friend Shankar), but could it be that you were beaten up by a Pakistani, in childhood, and still haven`t gotten over it? :)

I am only expressing my frank observations. If some Pakistani sentiment is hurt then I am truly sorry. Guys, I have seen a DESI-reporter(Indian Muslim) who was interviewing hookers in Montreal/Toronto and New York, and they said that they would not go with Pakistanis, as they often do not pay and generally have bad reputation among hookers.
Also, many westerners write about Pakistani Men being SEX-depraved, that is why Deptt of State recommends certain dress-code and precautions for woman when visiting Pakistan, Indian receommendations are not same.

(FYI, I was never beaten by any Pakistani boy in my childhood, by a Hindu-Yes but not by a Pakistani in all honesty. I did pay him back later on, real good and he carries rememberence on his body for rest of his life)
Many of my TaxiDriver friends in New York hold the same opinion regarding Pakistanis(including Muslim Pakistani Taxi Drivers).

Thanks for correcting me about ``masterbation`` not ``masturbation``.

Re: # 25
Kulharee, who are you, really? I think you are an avatar of some Indian-Chowki.

Making Love to Charpai is an interesting stmt. I have heard Chicken, Bakree, and some Baloon dolls.

But there are always new things to discover.....

Re: # 25 either avoid calling someone a `friend` or learn to keep the secrets.
rgds

Master Bishen?

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hahahahahaha good one. you can be funny..once in a while.. most of th teime you are ridiculous though

#29. some one died in Seattle lately. and it was a Horse who was involved in the incident. From the story I still can`t make what actually happened ..I mean the mechanics of it.

This piece might have worked if the arthur was being sarcastic, but appears to be earnest in his exhortations, so the best one can say is

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HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

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snort

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HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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pardon the pun on name, it`s one of those days...

#27 by Romair

[You had already designated us to be evil, disoriented, pathetic killing machines. Are we now sexually depraved also?]

It is a cause and effect thing. The latter leads to the former. As the resident know-all of Chowk, I thought it`d be easy for you to figure it out. But as delhiwala put it in # 29, ``...there are always new things to discover.....``

Re: # 17 Actually, it`d be more interesting if the wife tries to sell it to whoever made that comment :)

Bhatti Saab #31: ``hahahahahaha good one. you can be funny..once in a while.. most of th teime you are ridiculous though``

Too bad I cannot say that for you..........You are ridiculous all the time!!

i dont mind frustrating articles...if they have such fantastic conclusions......u remembered everything about the past when an affair was applied......but why didnt u remember to make a point......all u had was cousins and hand shakes with no hint of the why they tried infidelity......ammara

Quote: ``She was not particularly attractive but when she wore her cardigan inside the British Consulate one could discern her rather excited anterior aureoles.``

Hahaha - what a clinically sterile manner to describe breasts...

And no, I didn`t understand what the purpose and conclusion of this article was either.

Re: # 30
Oye Tainu ki.
Tainu Manji vi nahee milley? Nikamma Kithon da.....

COuld you please answer the question you posed in the Title of this article..? Because i couldnt find it while reading it, the article wasnt a bad observation though.

Dear Author:
Is this so-called ``Infidelity`` your observation or you have any figures to back it up?
My gut feeling is that there is more Infidelity in Western countries than in Indian sub-continent. Perhaps, Western society does not seem to mind it as much as Indian does.

The writer uses his very narrow minded concept of morality to push his ideas upon others whereby using hs views to judge the actions of others. He takes a few examples and makes them out to be the norm as far as affairs are concerned which is are in reality far from what really happens in the context of affairs. And why should they not happen? For a long time sex between two people has been confined in the straight jacket of marriage which has lead to plenty of unhappy marriages where either of the partners is sexually satisfied. Only now have people started looking for sexual satisfaction outside the boundaries of what is a society filled with old fashioned concepts of what is acceptable and not.

It is well said that there is no need to buy the full costly Pig when your hunger could be satisfied with a string of low priced sausages. This is a clear hint towards having temporary & `time pass` relationships in this mad rushy world where starting, keeping & nurturing a serious relationship is troublesome, risky & naturally costly affair.
So aal kal sab kuchh chalta hai ....Bhai. NJoy Life as it comes to you.

Athar,

After having gone through your article it seems that the only reason for infidelity seems to be physical. This is in fact just a small seemingly important aspect.

Additionally, you have stressed the need of small vicarious pleasures like staring or shaking hands as the beginning of the long road to infidelity, this is not the case, and should not be taken as such. Look around you and you will see this is not entirely the case.

It seems to be a very very shallow viewpoint which has not been thought over by the writer.

Cheers!

See I am not sure why you are pointing out that South Asian men are more into infidelity. I know we guys are always lured about sex and especially if some white women is involved. It is true with at-least a guy like me who came to US to study from Pakistan where we are not even allowed to sit with girls. So for first few months here in US I was all exited to see girls and beautiful white skin. As I was new so it took me while to learn the tricks of flirting and break my virginity. Wow!!! we paki`s are blessed to have these white girls who sleep with us. Now after being here for 5-6 years I am content with that part of life and wanted to get settle and is looking for a girl back in Pak.
Now if you tell me I cheated to all the girls ...answer is NO. First I was only with them for sex only and how can I even think of marrying a White Girl (She will never convert to Islam..and I cannot marry infidels). Even more how can you stop when you get provoked. Listen to latest mission, I briefly met this girl from Maryland couple of years ago and then it didn`t worked. Now 2 and half years later she emails me to say that she needs to see me . Well I took time out of my busy travelling to see her and just to find out that she was dating an Indian dude and now things are not going well and she needs to try me. This proves what this is about sex.....leave one catch... other one..... but I am no less either if she is coming herself so I will also try to reap max out of her at-least physically so that I can get this last piece before getting into wedlock in Pak.
Now can you blame me for Infidelity?? NO....enjoy and if any Paki brother needs help on this topic I can help..may be pass this one on ..once I am done