August 2003

Re: # 15

I was 10 when the Kraft cheese thing came up. And it felt like everyone wanted it. I know it was juvenile, but I was a kid. Was just trying to be honest.

When it comes to friends, everyone is looking for common grounds. Everyone has likes and dislikes. I went to school in he gulf, where all my friends knew my tv shows. We spent many a free class discussing Luke Perry, or someone cuter- like every teenager I know does. So making friends in India was tough. And that being said, `Luke Perry` is not to be taken literally. I didnt go around asking people if they knew Luke Perry. I just meant that conversationally, people were not on the same plane as me.
Everyone had fallen in love with all things American when Cable television came to be. Thats why even parts of India are becoming `westernized` as my parents put it so often. Again, to 15 year old midsets, it feels like no one understands them...they always look for ways to escape. Wishing my life was different was my way of escapism.

Coming to the United States has not made me American. It has merely given me the opportunity to step out of my religious and cultural beliefs and brave the world to find out what else it has to offer. It has also given me the freedom to weigh all my options and choose a lifestyle that preserves my cultural conservatism, but intellectual and religious freedom.

Re: # 13

Went to school here. Work now:)

Re: # 11

India, Pakistan, and Canada?Wow. Are you Libyan?

Re: # 8

Interesting- no idea. Haven`t been there in ages. maybe that was a post-gulf war thing.

Re: # 5
lol! thinking like a camel? Thats funny. Are you from pakistan?

Re: # 1

Hey Nadia-

I was about 10 when I went to India and studied there for a while. I wanted to fit in I guess. My way of dressing and talking was different, and it made it hard to fit in. And children aren`t very sympathetic when they`re 10, which resulted in me making the effort. It might have been the wrong effort, but I didnt know that then. Luke Perry hppened much later:) Sorry about the typo with the prayer- any way i can change that?
Aruna

Re: # 23

I think language was a huge barrier. And people are scared of what they don`t know . My dad was just trying to protect me. Infact, not many Indians I know from where I lived, spoke to any Arab. It was more convenient to not have to break a barrier...

Nice piece Aruna. I am curious to learn why the segregation on behalf of your parents. I mean, your father went to arabia and obviously worked with arabs...did the influences and his experiences drive him to keep you from intermingling with the locals?

Kulharee, I am sorry that you are a ahmadi. :-p

Very nice, Aruna. Loved your honesty and free-spiritedness (and your little gugloo picture.)

``Cultural divides were so deep that when we passed a Pakistani...school bus on our way back home, a kid in their bus would spit on our window, and a kid in ours would spit at their window.

Quite evident at Chowk! Somethings never change!

awwww,...is that you in the picture?...shoooo cute..:)
I enjoyed your write up. I guess i can, kind of, relate to it ...:).

I think Aruna has grown up just fine and mature, however, some of you people need lots of growing up to do. Must you insult each and every soul you come across to get noticed? I am pretty sure you must possess some positive creative abilities to share with us. Just try for once for crying out loud.

Re: # 18

Saty.. are you sure you read the same article that everyone else read? May be you are looking at the censored version of it (if you are in Soodi Rabia) where all the explicit terms (where Aruna talks ill of her parents in somewhat graphic terms) have been blocked out.

I think it is a pretty nice piece of work. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. I don’t think that it requires any kind of psychoanalysis of her on your part. Some people will find holes in everything no matter what. And yes, having a Pakistani best friend is cool, because cool Pakis are very hard to find.

Aruna,

hmm...your response shows indeed that you need to widen your intellect horizon.
Those websites say nothing about anything intellectual. A punk rocker is a punk-rocker
he/she may create a tune - but that doesnt mean he/she is smart and intellectual.

Your writing and the trivial incidents shows the shallowness of your intellect.
You think having a Pakistani best-friend is something great ? you could equally
have had a best friend from timbuktu. So what ?

What values do you stand for ?
You dont know much about anything, but sneer at others - because they did not know
some stupid tv show ?
You are probably even at this age embarassed by your parents. There is also a
chance you want to try to be `ccol` ,you will probably sneer at other Indians.
Look inside yourself, dont judge people on their knowledge of tv-shows, find out
values they stand for. For eg: Ask your best friend if she/he is willing to go to
a temple and pray, just like how you go to a church to pray. From their answer, you
will know where he/she stands. You will know her/his values.

You have to grow up and become more mature in this world. If I were you - go to your
parents and thank them for being successful in turning a moron like you into an
average shallow individual and making it possible for more brain-development.

Re: # 16

Can you not tell from the photo she placed?

aruna...
please dont tell me you went to st. joseph in abudhabi in the early eighties. we had one aruna in grade 4 with us, who had come from kuwait . adnan sami the little guploo was also in our class. please drop me a line (will provide the email addy if you are the same aruna).

``This piece is not intended to blame anyone like a few comments suggest, nor is it intended to reveal my lack of intellect- which by all means has room for growth.``

---

nice to know.. But reading these lines I thought otherwise..

I did not feel like an Indian. I had been exposed to a very different culture despite my parents` many efforts to protect me from it, and this was proving to be such a lonely experience. Nobody understood my jokes, no one had watched Beverly Hills 90210, everyone was jealous of my creamy kraft-cheese and bread lunch, and they all thought I was rich and spoilt just because I came from `foreign`.
......
Two years ago I moved to the United States. I met Pakistanis, Arabs, and Americans. And no one spat at each other. This was great! A lot of freedom and a wide palette of friends made me slowly discover that I belonged to an entirely different culture.

Maybe what the other students in India thought about you was right. Did you ever imagine that possibility?. Anyone with an average intellect would figure out that kids in a typical indian city school are more into their local cultural stuff (like local movies/TV serials/cricket etc..) than Beverley Hills 90210. (There may be some exceptions. It is unfortunate that you did not end up in such schools). How can you assert that everyone was jealous of your creamy kraft-cheese??. :-)). You are probably brought up in a strict conservative house-hold with their archaic rules and practices.. By any chance, have you been discriminated and made an ``untouchable`` in those ``3 days``??.. I can understand the feeling of ``rebellion``. But my advise to you still stands. While enjoying the ``freedoms`` (sexual/dating/and other things) US has to offer, make sure you don`t take hasty decisions that might come and haunt you in the future.. You have fallen in love with all things ``American`` from the day Star TV arrived in your life. American shows featuring extremely pretty women and temptingly delicious men . Nothing wrong with that.. Now that you are in the environment you like, you are feeling like you are in the natural habitat (no more feeling like a ``fish out of water`` ).

Giving up on bindi and vegetarian habits are small things, but try to go soft on your parents.