Marching Powder

Hey Chowk staff/FV,
While you are making all these changes (I dont know why though, the earlier format worked fine), can you make a stipulation to all contributors that atleast 20% of any article should be understood by a normal average I.Q human being? This garbage definitely won`t pass that criteria....

Thanks,
Avkrishna

farzana versey,

.......... as chowk editor we expect you to keep trash like this off the front page ........ since you are new on the job we will cut you some slack, but this is it !

...look at the pretentious and utterly useless nonsense below - and this is just from the eight lines of the first two paragraphs (i did not have the stomach to read any further)

social session
steering our wheels
private “kothi” soirée in Gulberg
Sovereign like Bonnie and Clyde
fine entrée
the cat’s whiskers
achingly yuppie nouveau riche herd
Peerwani-clad

choke with embarrassment
vague brush with celebrity
the bees’ knees
cheap perfume as poisonous as anthrax
synthetic as their Polaroid existence

............... this man is a poser and a threat to the impressionable juveniles who prowl the chowk looking for tips on how to get throught their esl classes - he must be stopped ! now !

This is horrible prose.

what the....?


is this front page quality writing?

Re: # 3

urstruly,

....... alas, we agree ......... if there is one person who deserves the koranic punishment of public lashing, amputation and final beheading, it is this guy - poser khalid ............

........... see, even i see some value in barbaric behaviour in some extreme cases !

..... it is friday, so stop by and we can discuss this over a manhattan for me and a glass of milk for you ...............

This shold be in poetry section (angry face wallah icon)

{``My existence bends perilously like the circuitous Ravi. ``}

Ozer Kardesh,

Iyi aksamlar. :) Kuvvetli. Bu gorduoum en guclu ingilizce. Kutlamalar.

I always enjoy reading your essays. I think that prose comes alive with vivid images when you write in your own inimitable style. Do not be dejected by this crowd of ungrateful simpletons. They have no appreciation for anything that requires deeper understanding, nonlinear thinking, and images that are in colors other than black and white. Yes, these Pakis can copy our flag but never implement what is behind that flag. Yes, they cherish their inheritence of Empress Tower and Frere Hall, but have no need for the Taj Mahal.

Lutfen ucmaya devam :)

#5, Hamidum Sahib,
There is more to life than ``straight`` or ``on the rocks.`` I always tell the caffeine peddler on UP that there is more to life than ``regular`` or ``decaf.``

I am sorry that Ozer has you scrambling for your scimitar and taking refuge in the arms of Urstruly. Now was it ``Vitamin D, whole milk`` or ``2%`` that you ordered for him?

moet and merlot !

........ so being friday and all that, i just tried to read this piece of trash - ``let`s give it a chance; maybe it has some merit since salim mian thinks so`` - and then i got to this moet and merlot bit .......... that`s it !........ if this is not contrived, then what is ? !...........why not moet and barnett ........ after all this spring mountain district merlot is tha best i have ever had ........... why couldn`t this poser simply say champagne and merlot instead of coming up with two m`s to create the impression of an alliteration, or whatever it is called these days !!!! .............

........... i demand that this crap be taken off the front page .... now !....... or else ...........

Chowk Staff: Ref #9.

There should be a clause added to the Chowk Interact Guidelines concerning literary criticism. Those impersonating literate critics should be given a sobriety test for having consumed irrational amounts of Harvey Wallbangers before logging on.

...... i have a hangover, but what the heck, let`s give it another twirl ..........

......... bad idea !.......now my head is spltting and all i see is red !.......... and i only got through four more lines of this.... this piece of lliterary excrement or, as the poser would say, a pile of pompous poop ..... this instrument of torture ..........

a compulsive cash-depleting habit
majestic water-soluble white snow
murky nasal passages
Kate Moss morphs into a tame kitten
meander into this pleasurable “China White” abyss
experimentally retorts in the affirmative
citadel of mysticism
Alluvial plain traversing the Ravi


..........my god !.....``Alluvial plain !``......... why is the a capitalizied - it is driving me nuts !.. where is my gun - i want to blow my brains out !.......... i don`t have a gun ........ i should get one .......... why are my pants wet ?............ fv, help ...... please

........ but like a crazed addict looking for a fix, i will probably go back and ``do`` another four lines ............ but first i must take a nap .........

Re: # 11

The reason why Salim Chauhan is upset by your critique of this article is because he wrote it :)

This reads like an extrapolation of Dara in Mothsmoke. Dude od`s on coke and writes an essay about it using words not because they are needed but because they are there. Umm, not my cup of tea but then there`s no accounting for taste.

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for chrissakes writer, no more less than zero and american psycho for you! your gonzo liberry card has been revoked! (eye roll)

calling dr shankar .........

........ now that somone mentioned naipaul on the other board, i am compelled to return to this turgid masterpiece ........... i actually wanted to say ``putrid masterpice`` but since samina is watching we will try and keep all references to fecal matter and offal out of this .......

audaciously absorbed deafeningly screams
Cobra tongues
perniciously pierces bodily systems
snaking and slithering down wine-red blood vesse
sking down this Alpine snow “line by line”
border outposts of capillaries being invaded like the West Bank and Gaza in nano-seconds (and this ws meant to be read between the lines !!!!)

............. all this and much much more in less than six lines !............... the man is unstoppable ! ............ but why does he make me so mad?....... why do i care?.......... i hate him more than hitler and romair (not rommel) ?............... why? why?........... i need to see a shrink !