Filtered Posts

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? rajsanghi #359,
{``Having said that, a question that comes to mind on seeing, and even after agreeing to quite a degree with a broad statement like that, is that statement not applicable to some other countries too? ``}

You bet! Right on Bro. That statement is applicable to all other countries. We all know about jingoistic and self-centered Indians. Also, please consider the following and see that you don`t agree about being turned off by them``

A plane crashed on Mt. Kilamanjaro. All 85 people on board died - Thankfully, no American was hurt.
The French people have a high regard for all human beings - Africa begins at the Pyerennees.
The noble Russian soldiers eliminated all the low-life Chechen vermin. Chechenya is an integral part of Russia.
The population of Kuwait is approximately 1.5 million human beings. This does not include the 300,000 immigrants from South Asia.

Pakistanis, OTOH, suffer from the reverse disease. Except on Sept 6, we Pakistanis spend most of our energies, pointing out what is wrong in Pakistan, in Punjab, in Sind, in Karachi, in every aspect of Pakistani life. Nothing less than the world cup or Olymic gold is good enough for our cricket and hockey teams. Anyway, c`est vrai and c`est la vie.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? arjun #356,
{``Rust bucket is a metaphor...But that`s what you pakis basically bought..a pile of junk that doesn`t work for part of the year... ``}

I am glad that you are now backtracking. So it`s not rusty, just a pile of junk. I knew you would do that, actually rust bucket is not a metaphor, it is the patented term for India`s water conservation methodology.

nikki #355,
The ode to the man of Madras was meant for the esteemed APJ. I didn`t realize that you are also from Madras - rather your wonderful parents. We need to come up with one for Chennai - damned BJP, keeps changing the names of places so that I have to update all my material. So, please don`t take any offense to the brass balls and sparks references. Speaking of that, Kaura has not said a word is response, I think he is on a yatra to Pakistan.

omar #354,
{``seems the pakistan `expert` is also an expert on indian airline meals``}

What airline meals! I starved on my flight from Mumbai to Lucknow (with a stopover in Patna for directions!). I already mentioned this on the atif board on UP, that Chowk erased!
The flight attendants on that Sahara flight told me that they couldn`t feed the paying passengers because a certain kunjoos dilliwala was eating up all the free meals for his reviews. That`s when I took a real disliking to the man before even interacting with him. First of all, airline food, especially the dosas on Indian airplanes, is generally not worth reviewing. It should not be consumed by passengers either considering that there are only a limited number of toilets on board. In India, these are further curtailed by dilliwala airline food reviewing ``journalists`` who hide in the toilets to go bilaticket. Free food, free travel, and free abuse, all for writing an epic monologue.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? veeresh #358,
{``Gosh, Omar has discovered google . . . every journo`s dream . . . ``}

Or shoud I call you mog. You have discovered multiple nicks ... evey Chowkie`s nightmare. Normally, I don`t care for people who use multiple nicks, but I will consider lenging you my patented ``Mike_Hunt`` nom de porn if you promise not to visit Pakistan again.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? tahmed #343,
{``however, you have not addressed the basic point i made: namely, that there is a very real issue that many people are raising with respect to the sense behind sending a man to space when robots can do the job at far less cost and complexity``}

Mr. Tahmed, mais au contraire, mon frere. I disagree with your point to Sri rsridhar. For Indians, a robot is many times more expensive than a real live Indian astronaut. What is so complex about that? Send Modi to space, his oxygen runs out, correct the problem and send Thackeray to space, he passes out, correct the problem and send Advani and so on. The one-way fare to outer space on American and Russian spacecraft will be just as inexpensive and simple as buying a ticket from Poona to Patna. I think they have a plan.

rsridhar #338,
{``The more i interact with guys like u, the more i know why your country is so screwed up``}
Sri buddy, don`t worry about guys like me. I have an alibi - I am 25% Hindu in my ancestry. And for that reason, I worry about India with scientists of your caliber beating the drum of technological progress there. You haven`t figured out why certain IAF planes are falling like flies and you are already planning on sending ``unsuspecting patriotic`` Indians on one-way missions to the moon. Sure sounds like a suicide mission to me.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? arjun #345,
{``He presided over the hand over of a hughes rust bucket ...``}

I am not well versed in metallurgy. Can the esteemed audience comment on the ability of a satellite to rust in space? Is oxygen and/or water needed for rusting to take place? Has arjun actually come up with another ``marvelous scientific discovery?`` tahmed was right, these Indians never give up on their quest for supremacy in this world, out of this world, in their minds, and out of their minds.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? rsridhar #340,
{``U are a Paki dude ... surrounded by Indians``}
{``That must be hard, dude. I mean, surrounded by all these Indoos``}

Bring em on! I ain`t no Custer. This Paki is a Turk and a Rajput:

Teghon ke saye men hum pal kar jawan hue hain
Asan nahin mitana namo nishan hamara

tahmed #343,
You like that, eh? Sending Modi as the first Indian astronaut. On the surface, I support your idea of sending the unwanted Indian female feti into orbit. But what do you think? Is it safe to have Modi and all those little females up there. In Gujurat, Modi`s men raped, mutilated, killed, and burned little girls as young as 6 and 7 years old. This monster would probably copulate with the feti in space and we could have RSS/BD/VHP meteor showers every so often. Sending our Maulvis is the correct antidote to the whole problem. Modi and the Maulvis would go after each other and leave the feti alone. As we all know, there can be no consequences from a Modi/Maulvi orgy in space. I vote for Fazlur Rehman as the first Maulvi.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? rsridhar #340,
{``Now, i know why u hate Indians so much. U are a Paki dude living in USA/Canada and work with a software company, surrounded by Indians.``}
I wish it were true. Unfortunately, I work as a bouncer at a gentlemen`s club. The only Indians I work with are the occasional girls who audition for work here and I have helped select some of them. You are mistaken, I do not hate Indians, I just don`t agree with some of their more jingoistic nonsense that actually does injustice to the cause of India. India is a lot better than some of her too eager promoters are trying to make her out to be. There is a great difference between a fine lady and a whore being promoted by loud-mouthed pimps out front.

rsridhar #339,
I am glad you guys got Mushy under control. Now just let us know the secret. With a name like bharatrakshak.com, I don`t think I want to go there. Sure sounds like some RSS/VHP/BD/BJP kind of place. Who know what kind of cookies they can infest one with. I will first have to ask Farzana Ji about the right kind of prophylactic before going to your recommended website. Good luck with making the cow jump over the moon. I am glad you Indians finally found something useful to do to a cow.

rsridhar #338,
You are overly concerned about Pakistan. I hope you guys make it to the moon real soon and stay there.

rsridhar #337,
{``The core solid-fuel rocket motor on the PSLV would undoubtedly be the rocket motor that they would use to build an ICBM.``}
{``not only for building an ICBM capable of carrying nuclear warheads``}

Yo Sri guy! Pakistan is just next door, you don`t need an ICBM, unless you are trying to confuse us by launching it to the east and hitting us from the west, but that takes a lot more fuel, which you cheap and stingy guys can`t afford. I think tahmed, omar, and HP are totally right about you guys. Now you got me worried about my Hindu genes - after all I am 25% at risk.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? Nikki #328,
It took you long enough to acknowledge Kaura`s loneliness. Nowadays, he is drowning his sorrow in UP (UnPlugged at Chowk - had to say that to stop all the Bhayyas from complaining about Kaura drowning in Gangaland and defiling that holy river!). Please talk to him off and on as Gujju does, he really needs your warmth and affection.

Nikkie 324,
{``...The Indian armed forces are working on a computer operating system unique to them , and that effort is spearheaded by President Abdul Kalam himself``}
Man, it is neat to see India so in the limelight, dude. Operating systems, jet powered big toe sandals, Ambassador hot rods, cow jumping over the moon, and now APJ himself becoming Babbage. The world has been getting away from proprietary OSs such as MVS, DOS, OS 1100 since the 60s, and moving to standardized common denominators such as Unix, Windows, Linus, etc. It is refreshing to note that the Indian Armed Forces have rediscovered that OLD IS GOLD. Proprietary operating systems were more reliable, faster, and more efficient than these one size fits all. Kudos to the Indian military - it`s about time they got over Kargil. Any truth about Aish dumping Vivek for APJ? I heard he was working on his new video to be released soon. I heard the song went something like:

I am the man from Madras
Whose balls are made out of brass
In stormy weather they always clash together
And sparks come out from my ass.

Tahmed #327,
Rs, 50,000/ fine on Veeresh Ji! You must be pulling his chain. That adds up to 1,000 chain pulls at the old rate of Rs 50/. The guy must have oversized biceps by now.

rsridhar #323,
Response to #319 by tahmed32 who said
{``the rest of the world watches in awe as india prepares to send a man to the moon - with special jet powered one toe chappals``}
and you responded:
{``Do u doubt India can send a man to moon? I think it now has the technology``}

So now India has developed the special jet powered one toe chappal! Last I heard was that only the prototype for the left foot was working. The one for the right foot would always go in the opposite direction to the left foot - thereby causing a real split in the middle. May I recommend Mr. Modi for the honor of being the first Indian astronaut for this mission, using the existing prototypes of the jet powered one toe chappals?

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? SaimaShah #329,
{``All the self imposed experts on Pakistan and India should not speak one word unless they spend time meeting at least one person a month from the other side and a vacation a year in the others country.``}

Saima, I couldn`t agree more with you. I have been to India and Pakistan both several times in the last few years. The burn baby burn Modi lovefests in Gujurat and the Tallyban/Alkaida boom booms in Pakistan have introduced an element of hesitation to my journeys. I think it is very important to travel and live using normal, local, modes of transportation, lodging, and meals. I stay in 3 to 4 star hotels for this reason of assimilation and also to suit my own limited resources. My trips to India and Pakistan and numerous other countries entitle me to speak more than a few words. I am going to Turkey in a week to visit my Turkish cousins. Imagine a Rajput in Istanbul who knows very little Turkish.

As far as I know, Omar has traveled to India several times. BTW, ``a vacation a year in the others country`` is a bit too much. Ziada shakar men keerey parte hen.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? rsridhar #323,
{``Anyway, at least Indians are looking up towards the moon.``}
Sorry Sri, hate to disappoint you, hate to burst your bubble, hate to piss on your sunshine, but the moon you Indians are looking up at is nothing more than Mushy`s illuminated ass. He sure has you guys fooled.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? rsridhar #323,
{``The only thing coming out of Pak now-a-days is the stink of terrorism``}
You are absolutely right, and we are trying our best to export that too - even some to India.

kaurasach #294,
Nikki just said that not to worry yaar, as soon as he sobers up he will return to you full-time. Thank you for your patience, while nikki boy is ``indisposed.`` Rumor has it that he took some really heavy stuff causing him to hallucinate about ``India Shining.`` Nikki was seeing cars and bars, stars and Mars, Injuns on the move, Injuns on the moon, APJ writing code, and even Indian soldiers pirating software from Bill Gates (what a nightmare! that`s the last guy to copy code from, you save on S/W but lose out big time in extra memory and disk space, those Redmond guys never throw away any code). But that`s another story.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? omar #320 and tahmed #319,
{``jee veeresh jee, we do -- its indian (apparently has its origins in delhi) and usually comes to pakistan on a train -- i believe its most recent offering was in EIGHT parts ``}

HA HA HO HO - what a comeback?

{``the rest of the world watches in awe as india prepares to send a man to the moon - with special jet powered one toe chappals.``}

More HO HA HA HA Those jet powered one toe chappals. Mr tahmed is a master at offering a compliment and then withdrawing it - ``the world watches in awe as india dominates the olympics (OK, scratch that last one).`` Sanp bhi maar diya or lathi bhi nahin tooti. Sanu ``shabash`` achdita ji.


These are very original and very funny. I think I am enjoying Veeresh Ji`s meanderings after all.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? Veeresh Ji #316,
{``every time I write another episode, I then add a wee bit which can best be described as ``chain-puller``}

So now we know how you were able to make all those stops in little places along the way while you were bilaticketing your way through Pakistan on the choo choo. I think in India the fine is Rs. 50 per chain pull. I hope that there is a fine in Pakistan too.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? veeresh ji #316,
The only chain being pulled is yours. While you are emptying your ``tunki`` Farzana Ji is stealing your audience. It`s time for you to come up with new material or we will all be wearing those tri-colored condoms.

Train to Pakistan 2004: La, Hore? tahmed #313,
{``He then told me that he secretly called his wife ``patni jee`` and she bent down and kissed his feet when he came home``}
Did this happen in our Land of the Pure? A Paki wife actually bent down and kissed her husband`s feet! Hey Ram, you indeed work miracles in strange ways. If this is the result of Indo/Pak friendship, all I can say is ``Bring it on.`` Long live dosti. There is hope for our women yet.
Thank you for sharing that positive anecdote with us. Votre chaffeur a de la chance!

Lahore ka Jughraphiah Gill Sahib,
Veeresh Ji is right. And he has the arrows all over his ass to prove it too.