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Indian Exceptionalism: Colonial Stereotypes and Postcolonial Realities
Ama yaar Rohit,

I am feeling a bit sleepy, kindly do not mind typos – if any!

You are one brilliant writer! I am absolutely impressed by your marathon stamina – what with you attaining a double digit number of articles in a matter of just a few weeks! (At this rate, you can easily cross 137 in less than a year!)

You must be writing day and night – probably even in your sleep. (Pay no attention to critics like the Kaal, who may think most of those pieses were written in that state only – and who probably wishes your name were “Ro, Hit, Chup Rah!�)

In particular, I must compliment you profusely on the very opening lines of the present article!

“….central to strategies of British colonial rule in the subcontinent. Some of these well-known generalizations about Indians are easily recalled: Hindus and Muslims were two different nations and peoples who could not live together;…�

I knew it! YOU are the answer to my prayers!

You see yaar, all this time, I have been telling chowk people that Hindus and Muslims were NOT two different nations before partition. In fact, those who claimed so at the time were demagogues and were doing so strictly for their own narrow and selfish ends and such people are evil vamps who must be condemned without any hesitation. I said it – and all Pakistani chowkies pretended deafness!

And FINALLY – here comes a brilliant writer (YOU) – who agrees with my view – that the Hindus and Muslims were, in reality, one nation and those who sowed division among them were real evil.

I am so overwhelmed with joy after my vindication through your words that tears come to my eyes, everything goes blurry and I am too overcome to read any further. Therefore, I will withhold comment on the rest of your piss until when I can get around to it!

In the meanwhile, as a token of my gratitude to you, let me tender this priceless bit of advice.

Be careful of the Neembu. Be very careful! From her comments on your piss, you may think that she is offering a bit of her thoughts and perhaps even a bit of her head – but you ought to REALLY watch out for her sharp teeth!

You see, dear Neembu has a track record of publishing one chowk article every ten years and there is a (very slim) possibility that she may feel a tad bit jealous of your smashing record of ten articles in two months – all based on your sheer brilliance, your incomparable merit, not to mention the absolute impartiality of the chowk editors to any (inadvertent) pushing of their worldview (no matter how crazy) which could be promoted through your written pisses! In particular, do watch out for her famous stabs in the back disguised as “compliments� which – occasionally, may prove to be mere sneaky attacks to make you look like a phool!

Rest in Peace Pakistan (1947-1974)
Zee,

All I am saying by ``remove that burqa`` is to unleash the power of your womenfolks.

In other words, replace this


with THIS!


And note how fiercely those fires burn in the eyes!

None of this morbid ``R.I.P.`` talk! Unleash the Pakistani nari - who means business! Who is getting places - and no Pakistani male can stop her.

Fight Hudood, Protect Women
Chowk staff is expected to demonstrate due diligence in application of the chowk`s lofty and much-vaunted ``guidelines`` to prevent unscrupulous interactors from dragging these discussions into individual-specific, closed issues which have been amply discussed elsewhere.

Interactors who may happen to be positioned - either by themselves or through spouses - into any positions of ``authority`` at chowk, must never be exempted, either. In view of the claims of ``idealism``, such individuals are expected to set a better role model, not a worse one.

Thank you.

Fight Hudood, Protect Women
Let it be known to all and sundry that:

1) Gandhiji died in 1948, fully 25 years or so ahead of when the Pakistanis went around creating the 1973 constitution

2) Any attempts to link Gandhiji to the present plight of Pakistani womanhood struggling under the weight of the Hudood are mere examples of ultimate chicanery.

3) Likewise for every little bit of authoritarian act since 1948 and every act of cowardice that the Pakistani “liberals” have been demonstrating since.

4) Gandhiji (to the best of my knowledge) did not use toilet paper and would likely have been opposed to the VERY Pakistani innovative use of their 1973 constitution as depicted below.

Psychology of Guerrilla War
Dear Dr. sohail,

I do not have immediate comments on your article (perhaps later).

But I notice that you have adopted my stryle of interaction.

And are putting extra spaces between lines - just like I do.

Looks highly fishy to me.

The Worst Form of Banality
[The worst form of banality]

Silly me! I always thought it was this web site!

And its interactors!

Pandora Box of Television in Pakistan
#50

Yaar, how did you manage to get a blank line, even without an interact index of zero!

I am impressed!!

Indian Shuakat Aziz and Pakistani Manmohan Singh
[he has revealed that Dr. Manmohan Singh is in fact India’s ‘Shuakat Aziz’; ]

And who the heck is that Shaukat Aziz, again?!

The Worst Form of Banality
You seem to have a thing for spirits.

In and out of the bottle, both!

Sabre Rattling in the Persian Gulf
#27

Ama Sohail,

Yaar, you can always take excerpts - usually out of context - and use it to make ANY claims.

Bottom line is - politicians are all terrible!

The khakis are too, and they carry guns, too!

Happy, now?!!

PS: I hope YOU were not among the people who killed ``Absent in the Spring`` - or ``Abset in the Spring`` as spelt by the Chowk editors/staff!

Pandora Box of Television in Pakistan
[Usually television is called the idiot’s box]

Why would somebody call it by that silly name when they could call it the ``boob tube`` instead!

Exchange Siachen Madness for Mountain Peace
#Zee

Theek hai yaar.

Take Kashmir.

Take it right now!

Ja tujhey baksh diya!

Why Have This Train At All?
Chowk staff,

Please restore my Interact Index.

BEFORE I get tempted to spam again!

It is Never OK to Hit a Woman
So, therefore (now that we have crossed 400 interacts).

Is it, or is it not okay to hit a woman?!!

I suppose, another question to ask is...

Is it, or is it not okay to hit another human being?

Or it could be considered trhe same question.

Or not...depending on whether one thinks of a woman as a human being.

Or not.

;)

Youth Educating for Peace
Good thoughts! The style of presentation could use a lot of improvement.

Imposter Syndrome and Emotional Concavity
The following is from a famous book by Dr. Laura.

Ten Stupid Things Women do to Mess Up Their Lives:

1) Stupid attachment

2) Stupid courtship

3) Stupid devotion

4) Stupid passion

5) Stupid cohabitation

6) Stupid expectations

7) Stupid conception

8) Stupid subjugation

9) Stupid helplessness

10) Stupid forgiving.

There! I never thought I could get it all out at one time. :)