The Power of Positive Thinking

Re: # 3

``They feel, rightly, that they have no control over their lives, their futures or their destiny and thus there is no sense of civic pride, politeness, altruism, a desire to help others, improve their communities etc. ``

I completly agree.... i want to add so much to this but i just don`t know where to start.

however, i think my sentiment can be summed up in one fact, that the above illustrated sense of despair is truely a result of a `un` free society.

Re: # 5

Ah, lovely post epiphany. And an excellent article Ali :-)

I just wanted to add some of the recent thoughts to this discussion. Recently I have been meeting quite a lot of people who keep whining about how much their job sucks, how desperately they need more money, how desperately they need to get married, and all the other blah blah which pessimists keep blurting out. epihphany has very rightly said that who I am is what I believe I can be and that will enable me to be what I can become. A large majority of people don`t realize that they`re not going to get a second chance, and that if they waste every minute of their lives worrying and crying about their mistakes and their heartaches, they won`t be going anywhere at all. They should learn to change themselves, take bigger and better challenges, and always try to do something different, something which they have always wanted to do.

I believe that should be the purpose of any man or womans life... to work for what they believe they can do best, and to die trying it.

We are already self-actualized within ourselves, all of us, to a varying degree. Some people manifest this belief, or demonstrate this self-actualization, in little parts which hold for their intrinsic individualities the meaning which enables them to pursue a certain `this` or `that` while for others it is the pursuit of something `grand`. In retrospect, we all need a reason to, in the least, make living worth living for another day, another moment.

My contention is that our primary quest as beings existing in time must be strive to, with clarity, perceive everyday little by little what our true nature is. And it is this very preceding struggle that can define our destiny. In other words, who I am is what I believe I can be and that will enable me to be what I can become. Some may be inclined to think of this in material terms without realizing that that risks in plausibly being in peril of orbitting a recursive loop that can get us chasing our own tails.

For me, I am skeptical of anything that merits a universal definition because it is this very element of attempting to define a certain definiteness that revolves around creating deconstructive subliminally neuro-proverbial structures that sooner or later get bogged down with colossal detail and amid a storm of contradiction and shifting connotations collapse.

Further, for me, great musicians do not think of themselves as an element, one among many, which do their part to follow a beat after a strum after a pluck or those who pay heed to notations and timings and the varying octaves. For me, great musicians are those who, rather than focusing on playing their music, become their music.

#3 hashmiali: thanks for your prompt response. Being a dictator is indeed like riding a tiger - you are afraid of being eaten up by the tiger if you let of power.

I think people are unhappy also because they dont appreciate what they have. I read somewhere that one should think of two things every day for which one should be grateful. All our muslim prayers are about ``Lord gimme this, Lord gimme that, Lord do this, Lord do that``. Never about ``Lord, thanks for giving me another day to live``, or ``Lord, thanks for giving me health``. In the US, the Thanksgiving Holiday is my favorite holiday.

A lot of the misery is also self-created in Pakistan - financial problems created by showing off wealth in marriages, or in wasting money on clothes and jewellry. And on top of that we have these illiterates who put on beards and pretend to be tasked by God to tell everyone the rules. What a mess!! :-)

Re: # 2

Thanks for your feedback, tahmed2 (I suppose on this forum one addresses people by their `handle`, tho` it feels a little odd. BTW, I usually go by just ``Ali``. I`ve been a doctor long enough now that I don`t need to hear the salutation every time and `doctor sahib` makes me feel positively ancient :-)

To return to your question, I would think that most of Pakistan`s `leaders` suffer the same neurosis as the general population. In other words, even they are not immune from being killed, deposed, imprisoned, exiled etc. Even our dear Generalissimo has had several narrow escapes. So in that sense, the `leaders` would place at probably the same rank as the average person in the Maslow pyramid.

As to your question about why Pakistan`s rulers are so reluctant to relinquish power, I think the reason is the same as in any feudal/dictatorial/despotic society. They are not rulers by popular consent and do not serve at the will of the populace. Thus, they would suffer the same fears as the general population, specifically, a dread of the unknown, of tomorrow, of change etc. One of the things that struck me about the average person in Pakistan in my last trip (I just got back a week ago) is the sense of utter helplessness and despondency that people feel. They feel, rightly, that they have no control over their lives, their futures or their destiny and thus there is no sense of civic pride, politeness, altruism, a desire to help others, improve their communities etc. It`s the most naked form of dog-eat-dog, eat-what-you-can-today-who-knows-what`s-going-to-happen-tomorrow.

On the other hand, inspite of India`s tremendous problems (poverty, rural displacement, communal violence etc etc), their democracy is alive and vibrant and their society, in general, seems hopeful and optimistic about the future.

Even a leader as despised as dear Bush has no fear that he will be exiled, or imprisoned or hanged if he relinquishes power whereas our dear General refuses to take off his uniform because he knows that will be the end of him...

What is the psychology of Pakistani leaders? Surely they dont have about `deficiency needs`. Seems to me they are stuck at the ``esteem`` level. Since, if they were any higher, they would not be so greedy for power.

The US general sherman (i think it was him) refused pressure to run for president (with his famous words ``if nominated, i will not run, if elected, i will not serve``). George Washington walked away from the presidency despite great popularity and pressure to stay, to go back to being a farmer. In India, Chandragupta Maurya retired from emperorship to become a Jain priest.

In Pakistan, and muslim history general, every goddam rascal who comes to power wants to stay there until he is kicked out. and every goddam rascal out of power is doing his best to come to power.

So, why this difference in psychologies, doctor sahib?

Change is daunting as daring. Fear of failures keep many at bay which restricts and limits many a talent to be surfaced.

Supportive action and alternative plan has to be well researched. But the odds with investing money are still much in a country like Pakistan. What is lost is drastic, what remains is on the verge every time.