Accepting Death

It is very strange indeed to actually think about one`s own depth and I think that is a very personal and alone place one does think about it but will keep it to one’s self. In order to have a fear of dying I feel one must have taken time to think about it in order to come to this conclusion of feeling it. No one in a healthy state of mind could enjoy thinking of their own death I would imagine though a feeling of calm can come over one if they face the fact it will happen and that everything in between has to treasured.

Just curious now to how other Chowk readers view death is it something you hide from or can openly discuss?

Mark Robinson

Mark,

I can relate somewhat to your experience in trying to reconcile realities of living bodies and the fables of creation. In particular, I used to think questions like `why is it that I get a nail back if I lose it, or blood if I donate it but if my limb is chopped, it doesn`t grow back`. It was only when I knew that everything happens under evolution of economy, I got a satisfying answer. In this sense, religion which is given credit for absorbing the anguish actually creates much of it by behind its lies of creation.

Indeed, living with knowing that one has to die is a strange thing.

Simple and honest account of personal loss, the piece focuses on how one tends to rationalize one`s way out of pain reaching some sort of compromise in accepting the harsh reality of death. Every person follows his/her own path and finds his/her own solace.

Touching. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing it.

Mark,

This is a moving piece. I wish you Godspeed in recovering from the personal tragedy. Hopefully, this write-up has been of cathartic value to you.

BJ Kumar

Re: # 2

This is an interesting outlook you present Azure but I feel the difference between my article and your interaction is my article was based on my feelings of what I felt towards someone dying were you are giving a view point on what one who is facing with their own death through their own words. I myself have given this much thought as well. In my view of passing with belief in a god and looking towards the beauty of a heaven (hopefully not a hell) would be over shadowed by leaving your family and loved ones behind. Now the type of death one suffers could play a large importance to the reaction as well. Someone with six months to live compared to someone who suffers a tragic accident and dies in a day or so would more than likely have different emotions to the outcome due to the length of time they have to analyze their own situation. To be honest what I will feel at the time of my own death will have to be decided at that moment since never experiencing the end and not sure how my mind and body will react to the conditions I will be presented with.

Mark

A beautiful and candid piece. It made me contemplate.. We do take life as it comes believing in what makes our life go around without too much questioning or controversies.. its only at a critical juncture in life such as death of a loved one or birth that makes us think at times as what makes the world spin..

A child born in a Afghanistan where 1 out of every 2 children suffers from malnutrition.

The death of a parent for a boy who lives in Palestine & Kashmir or their slow and painful death due to AIDS.

The death of a child from malaria in Africa.

Well it does not only speak of the injustices of the world but also the injustice of GOD. What higher purpose does he have with giving all these people such pain and suffering.. for us to say that their must be an higher motive might make sense but in reality it is hogwash.

I once viewed a show that really highlighted the loss of a loved one in the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Acceptance is when you finally come to terms with your loss and move ahead.

Re: # 1

The moment your organs start to die and your body convulses while trying to fight inevitability, your mind recalls everything you thought about Divinity, everything you refuted, and everything that you thought was `just another creation of mankind`. In that instant you feel helpless and in need of support, but all you see around you is the sorrowful faces of your loved ones, or a multitude of sparkling white and metallic gadgets surrounding your bed. You struggle and fight and tug at the corners of the morose white mattress you lay on, but then it would be too late. After a while it is all over, and you plunge into a dark well of nothingness. Your mind accepts the painful truth in the very last moments that in nothingness you will stay for eternity.

On the other hand, the one who believed in Him would lay on his bed with a smile on his face, looking up at the angels that surround him. The angel of death would have a pleasing expression on his face, and he would relieve him of his pain by taking his life in a very gentle manner. The one dying would not fear death, because he is confident that he would meet his Creator in the Afterlife. He would die a comfortable death if his heart is filled with the radiance of His presence. He knew God was always there when he needed him, and he would definitely see him on his death bed.

God is not necessarily a blob of energy, or an old man with a long beard sitting on a cloud, or whatever our religions say about him. God is everything that exists.

I`m sure you can explain all that in the light of your professional knowledge Dr. Sohail.

dear mark....your autobiographical account is very honest and touching. finding one`s truth

is one of the biggest achievements of our lives. it is wonderful piece written by a human

being who is having a close encounter with death through his father`s illness. it is not easy

to see directly in the eyes of death and still not fall back in the lap of religion. there are

many who believe in God and Religion not because of their own experiences but because of

fear of death. i have met many who said. ` i am full of doubts but i do not say goodbye to

tradional beliefs because i am afraid what if i meet God after death? i hope you share more

about your life experiences in the future. we need more humanists sharing their stories of

living without religion and God... sincerely sohail