The Global Self-Help Addict

I am not a self-help addict. However, two of my very good, hyper-talented (okay genetically blessed) friends are. I struggle to understand it. Hence my post here ... so, please help me. My humble opinions are: (a) all self help books are really derivatives of the 10 commandments and the Bible, Koran, and other book(s) of faith (don't get me wrong - I am not a religious zealot) and (b) as a previous poster noted - they are a result of a society of luxury (i.e. if I am hungry every day, I am not worrying about self improvement, self-help, etc).

I have my own issues and have been to therapy at points in my life (not all the time, but I won't say I have never needed it). I am successful (though that is based on my own personal definition of success - which in my mind is all that really matters). I am good to others, kind and gentle (though can't we all be more so), and I really love my life (though of course it isn't perfect). Anyway, I look at my two friends who are fare more naturally blessed than I and they struggle to recognize how great they have it. So they go to/then preach self-help. I just don't understand it. And it frustrates me (is that my issue or their's -- both and likely a topic for another post). But please help to understand it and provide input on next steps.

Lastly, how do I approach them with my perception of their addition? Please help me! I really do think it interferes with their lives. They quote self help books to justify their behaviours ... the behaviours aren't bad, I just don't know about the quotes. Tnx, in advance.

so this was quite article which says very much impressive line at the end by saying that the people how read most, don't do mostly. which rally depicts many of us. and as far as the article is concerned this article is very much auspicious and was quite fun reading...

Re: # 17

Hi Hassan

Glad to hear you are category 1. Good for you:) Keep at it, wish you all the best in your dreams. Remember that only those with courage stand up in a crowd and say what their dream is, the rest blame everybody else. The difference between Luther King and the US President is abundantly apparent. What gives me goosebumps to this day--is, 'I have a dream', I literally sob every time I hear his speech. It isn't just the black man he talked about, he talked about all humanity. He had the courage to speak his truth. He said 'I'. Not 'I have come to save you' (like many others). Or 'They did this to us, so we will bomb Iraq.'

I'm a category 1 self help addict - I have goals and dreams written down and broken into weekly targets, etc.

I don't read fiction too much - I love reading fast paced thriller novels - nothing too mind numbing or heavy fiction.

Good article.

How about referring to God's Book: a Book for those who think?

One becomes what one reads, and trashy self-help books are for the faithless and the spiritually-marooned.

I think when one is one the verge of a break down - any support is welcome - so at that point in life - self help books are a blessing - But as the break down settles down to a normal uneventful routine - the only way to survive a crisis is to think - The world wants me to suffer - should I give them the satisfaction?

There-in, the concept of SELF-HELP kicks in.

So, you end up doing more self-help to keep yourself sane and sensible, than following the advie of another!

But as a kick start - a self-help book is a great distraction in a crisis situation.

Once upon a time there used to be a book series on almost any subject, the "Do it yourself books" since this series failed to make people smarter, and then came the "For Dummies series".
Ms. Shah I hope you are not referring to such self-help.

Dead man walking (Chalta) writes "masadumbo, another way to say it, is that that self help books are a phenomenon of a society where basic needs are fulfilled and where folks can develop their persons even further without having to worry out which suicide belt to wear to the shia mosque. ullu ka paTha"

Leave alone needs, they are a phenomenon of a society where "needs" are constructed and forced on people to the detriment of their "basic needs" by forced adaptation and those who cannot and do not adapt because they system itself is unnatural and anti-human are offered "self-help" through mega million dollar making books the motto of whose authors is: pay me and I will teach you how to be a better slave

Re: # 1
Dear DrSohail,
Why are we so critical of negativity? It is part of the gigantic Chi around us. Self-doubt is as essential as self-believe. The human soul has seasons. It is all part of the great cycle of life. As for taking responsibility for one's pain, yes I agree. However, I don't like pseudo positive thinking. There is way too much glossy, unreal happiness going around, too many people telling us how we ought to be. Psychology and all the related mental health sciences have value judgements that fit into the ideal personality for the corporate environment--these have resulted in modern people's obsession with being successful rather than authentic, natural, honest and real. People hesitate to speak their personal truth, trying to be somebody else other than themselves because it is the right/better thing to do.

Massaddi Mian thinks he does not need to develop after his Summa Cum Laude for his 7th Century to Mills knowledge. He cannot realize that learning is a life long process.

masadi: perhaps you should write a book titled "Seven Habits of Totally Incompetent People". You could thus share your enormous experience in this field!!

masadumbo, another way to say it, is that that self help books are a phenomenon of a society where basic needs are fulfilled and where folks can develop their persons even further without having to worry out which suicide belt to wear to the shia mosque. ullu ka paTha

Self help books are a phenomena of an advanced capitalist soulless society like USA that produces numerous problems but tries to keep the breaking system churning more sh** by convincing people that their problems are their own creation and can be fixed by "habits" that keep the masses subservient to those elite that have kept them in their sorry state. In short their problems that a large percent of those societies face regardless of personal idiosyncrasies are "personal" problems that can be cured through "self help", and what happens you see these books become mega best sellers (like Al-Gore profitably sells his mumbo jumbo) and the people suffering from those same problems they purport to cure keeps going up, so where is the "proof of the pudding"? Shrinkery and shrinks are the snakes that are helping to perpetuate this barbaric system that describes the US of A.

tahmed writes "7 habits is the greatest!!"

This doesnt say much coming from someone (tahmed) who is a habitual liar and a white worshipping habitual hypocrite....

ha ha Saima, u saw it u said it ! wow. i do confess that I am an addict of self help books and among the seven 'chakras' I am the seventh one I guess, aspiring to be the no 1.
But truly, the way u see it and the the way u made ur point at the end carries a lot of weight... and I just hear my Mom screaming somewhere between those lines to, "get up, put down that novel, prepare for exams and stop being lazy"
Reading has always helped me in fact. fiction or non fiction..... In good old days our elders recommend us Biographies or autobiographies of famous people in order to get inspiration. I guess these self help books serve the same purpose.
On self Help shelf I usually go for books on spirituality, like Deepak Chopra, Wayne dyer, Gary Zukav and latest book from Echart Tolle A new Earth. I must say that did help me a lot
Remember in 'Taare zameen pe' movie there was one song which clearly showed two classes of people.One who work, believe in action and drill life daily and there are others like that kid in the movie_____ dreamers... It was so true.
So I am in the second category, a mediocre,no bank balance, no direction, no plans for future but a plain 'sheikh Chillie'______one who dreams alot, aspire and wish a lot and to seek peace_______read self help a lot


Nikhat Riaz

7 habits is the greatest!!