Relationship 2000

#10 Posted by SameerJB on April 23, 2000 11:01:19 pm

temporal:

Khulta kyooN kisi pe merey dil ka mua`mla

NuktooN key intikhab naiN ruswa kiya mujhe

Khiley gulshan-e-wafa maiN gul-e-namurad aisey

Na bahar hee naiN poochha, na khizan ke kaam aaye

Anyway, I read your lajawaab adabi kawish, ``Final`` over at you webpage. Keep it up.

Thanks,

Sameer

#9 Posted by Raw_Dust on April 23, 2000 4:18:19 pm

i think i get some certain insinuations just to lead me to the thought that it is indeed an imaginative diction to bare oneself in a middle of a place like chowk... ....

Hey temporal...

wats with this arif`s play?..

wud u enlighten me about it :)

#8 Posted by tahmed321 on April 19, 2000 11:10:48 pm

But...

walking and jogging

situps, pushups,

stretches and weights:

arm press, leg press, shoulder press,

arm curl, leg curl,

aerobics

and then some

water and veggies and fruits

should chase away

your fears

(or some of them, and they are working on the others)

#7 Posted by temporal on April 18, 2000 1:12:46 pm

Zehra:

.....NOOKTAA.......

Nooktaa
aaghaaz bhi
anjaam bhi
markaz bhi
markooz bhi

(Teri kiya taareef karoun
aye meray
nooktaa sukhn
nooktaa shinawar)

Kay hay yehi
nooktaa
zindagi ki pehli
aur maut ki aakhri
moos`ku`rahat
(have a feeling
this has been said before)

Aur nooktouN kay is melay maiN
nadaaN dilouN kaa
pehli baar aankh milaana
kay hay woh bhi ik nooktaa.

pu’r-num aankhouN say
alwidah, bye, sayonara kehna
bay saakht’gi say
har baat par moos`kurana.

mauj-e-gardish-e nau paanch
paicho-o-taab-e-kash m’kash
kash m’kash-e-azli
ma’bain-e-insaan.

milna, milana
kareeb aana
door jaana

NooktouN hi ka yeh kamaal hay
----nookta, ik khafeef dai’raa
dai’raa kay jiski hay
na ibtida na ikhtitam.
aur nokktouN ki in amwaaj maiN
tou aur maiN behtay rahaiN haiN
behtay rahaiN gay.

----Anon Anonabadi

PS:

Shandy: Hope you see the ir-relevance

Chowk Staff: Hope you see the relevance. Even though it may appear I have violated some of the new commandments in the Interact Guidelines.

#6 Posted by Jonty on April 18, 2000 3:46:42 am

t, you wanted one other fear? How about this one...

all things considered, my biggest fear remains being forced to listen to this poem over and over for all eternity, like poor Sisyphus, condemned to push the rock up the hill, only to have it roll down again every time.

A truly puerile, retch-inducing piece of work.

Jonty

#5 Posted by Zehra on April 18, 2000 12:28:15 am

oye temporal!

you didn`t like my one akhlota defenseless dot. meray bhi dot ko daad dou warna mein rooth jawoon geen.

slink i meant to tell you that i too like the dots..theres more, but im still processing.

rizvi.

#4 Posted by Zehra on April 18, 2000 12:28:15 am

different but still you. written in one sitting? have you gone back to edit it? you usually don`t...

sent you email...thought you were still in..thar?

z.rizvi

mebbe i`ll get my response in before temporal..

fat chance..

#3 Posted by drakula on April 18, 2000 12:28:15 am

great

that was a drastically different look at being lost in the supermarket :).....never thought about it.

really loved this line

then there is the demon we face alone.

cellulite.

bye

Kumail

#2 Posted by taimurmalik on April 18, 2000 12:28:15 am

Interesting fears::))

#1 Posted by temporal on April 17, 2000 4:37:05 pm

SM:

Liked the profusion of dots........

My thresh hold of utter despair and anguish caused by typos is:

---For first time contributors: three typos
---For regular contributors: two typos
---For certain folks: none.

Since we are friends of sorts, can I beseech thee to........?

............to add one other fear?

And now some other lines

Loved the allure of follicles preceded by the fuzz and followed by location. Imaginative.

Third and fourth stanzas made me grope in total lack of light.

Wrinkles was good. As was cellulite.

And now some other thoughts.

Drop a title and release date for Arif’s play. And will ask him for yours.

love

temporal

PS: Any thoughts about August?

t