City

hey nice work!

hope we get to read more of your poems.

All my wishes for a successful publication.

cheers.

Taimur.

Good work, Ilona!

Your use of irony served to provide a tragic, human, perspective on ``people who`` we generally not give a second thought to, and to the desensitizing experience city-life can often be.

Keep contributing. Keep awakening!

regards,

PM

Ilona,

Thank you for your reflective poem. Liked the simplicity with which you presented your candid observations and highlighted the sad state of our society. Hope to read more of your contributions in the future.

- Lubna

nice poem, innocent and deep

Ilona,
welcome to CHOWK and thanks for this
breath of fresh air. We sure needed it.
I admire the sentiments expressed in this work.

Ras

shankar #168 I think scout can appreciate a good joke. So let`s hear it.

actually i see you`ve already weighed in.

this comes from reading article before responses.

regards

aakar patel

is this inspired by ginsberg?

temporal, tumhara kya khayaal hai?

regards

aakar patel

nice work.Good luck on your publications.

Surely a poignant and stylish piece;

Kept it short and sweet. For some reason it seems like, the subject has been addressed once too often though. :)

By the way, it has an unfinished, half-drawn sort of feel from beginning to end. Is that deliberate, or am I mistaken?

Ilona,

Your poem shows a compassion that had been missing from Chowk for a while. Hope to see more of you here.

Sophie

Concerns are noble. May be you could try harder in putting in poetically. Or in Phrase..!

Pullu

Here are poets who are not published
No
they illumine dichotomies
and ironies glossed over
for us to pause the coffee-intake
and indulge in reflection
some.
__________________________


Ilona:

Welcome to Chowk. And keep contributing. If you are new here, please do not be daunted by the lack of inter-acts. The higher level of interacts reflects not on the quality or caliber of writing. Rather on the buzz words flying. For instance if you had added one buzz word, just one word at the end of the last line, I suspect you would have been inundated with posts.

Now, if you don’t mind........

The second line in each stanza begins with a cap. Since you have used three periods, one comma and one apostrophe, it gives rather mixed signals. Perhaps some consistency is called for?

Also, for me the same consistency is needed in the first stanza when you mention shirt, shalwar and shawl. Either change shirt and shawl or change shalwar. I know, I know rules are meant to be broken --- but only after we master them!

regards,

temporal