Loves loved {some not so loved}

hi zehra
so...thts the way u write...i have been reading some of ur work and i am mesmerised......
its good,lovely,and moving...the article abt tht post 9/11...its out of this world....U can feel flattered if u want to....i am impressed
so...just one thing...this curiosity sucks at times....if u could just put up some info abt urself in ur profile,i wud really appreciate that....
waseem

IT WAS A VERY VERY TOUCHING AND VERY VERY BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN POEM.I LOVED IT!!!!!!!

Z Jr.:

you write: ``you start somoeone on their life and they are so happy to be talking and being listened to that they dont shut up. lookin for the middle ground here. buddha said that was the way to go.``

Good on you! Was wondering when this 180 was going to stop. :) And do you *really * need a Buddha to tell u the middle way is the one to follow?!

Z Sr.: Must one REVEAL all (and if so, at what rate?) in order to convince oneself that one is being totally honest? And how realistic an expectation is it for a man -- or woman -- to accept all `imperfections` exactly when *you * choose to bring them out in the open? Wouldn`t it be wise to open oneself up gradually, as the forces of attraction (TLC etc.) grow? Why shoot oneself (or the relationship) in the foot all in the name of an abstract and unrealistic `honesty`? Why hold ppl up to such high standards? Why not trust love and trust to play to their own beat? Why not take the step of being strong enough to give, in the faith that what one gives comes back three-fold?

(Disclaimer: no one is suggesting you make yourself a doormat or martyr)

The really honest thing would be to accept that we all come with our imperfections, but that a love nurtured with patience, respect and caring, will help us overcome those blemishes in ourselves and accept those in others.

rgds,

PM

fzk

``May u find someone who hugs u a lot instead, and now that uve learnt to appreciate it, may u enjoy it wholeheartedly.``

thankyou thankyou for your kind wishes and the same from my side. Done that and off to meet HIM fro a few glorious days. Anticipate a lot of the above ; ) It was real fun getting to know your dark side too and hope we get to do more.

aicha.

Aicha, :)

Me too, i hv similar regrets. :)

Hugs are never enuff :)

May u find someone who hugs u a lot instead,

and now that uve learnt to appreciate it, may u enjoy it wholeheartedly.

Me too.

Glad we get each other.

As for the whole world thing;

i guess ppl like that have the need to be `accepted` by everyone for whatever reasons.

Its like, take me for my past, and ull take

me for my future, for my past makes my present

and my present will make my future.

Yes one shd be careful. And i too am still

learning to be selective.

As for Zehra`s stories, heck, if someone will hold a peice of wirting, maybe fiction maybe fact,

agianst her, the person aint worth being friends with. If they have issues they shd learn to resolve it, and get over it. Not like they wont hav any skeletons? In fact shes making them easier to know her already! ;)Thye shd be grateful! :)

And there aint anyone out there who`s

writing like they really give a $hit abt what will be thot of laterrrr anyway, that predecided, thats why they do so, or they wdnt, right?

Unless theyre very stupid. Are you? Zehra niece?

Hmm?

NOONe IS PERFECT.

Wishing us all love sunshine pretty butteeflies, shady trees, cool breezes, rainbows, and peace...

Zehra Sr/..

ummm interesting!!

``Honesty has caused me some severe pain esp. when ppl i have revealed all to.... Leaves me with a clearer soul. Maybe they werent honest with me in the first place - who wants that?``

aaah - i see what you mean by clearing ones ....

but but let me see if i can be equally vague&crystal clear at the same time : ) - by all means be honest with ONLY the ones you love irresp of whether they love you back or not - but why play out your life history to the ones you dont care about/you dont know/mere accquaintances. conscience - still intact!

``Id rather by loved on being chosen for my entirety. It was their weakness not to be able to withstand my truth and maybe they were too weak to love anyway. What has to go will go, if its meant to, anyway.``

I agree. A relationship should be built on honesty - totally believe that. Cant worry about things backfiring - it is all or nothing - got to accept and ve accepted warts&all and all that stuff.

``while ppl fear shame to tell all, shdnt they feel more shame for hiding stuff, isnt honesty a truer valueable quality then hiding facts?``

I think that is a very natural thing to feel - how one overcomes it is what it is all about. On a rather personal note during what i refer to as the dark ages I prefered not to discuss my personal life with even my closest friends mainly because i felt i needed to come to grips with the changes in my lifestyle first before laying everything out in the open - that is the way i am. Didnt realise talking helps more tahn anything else in the world. Well have X`ed those bridges now - and my main regret is the times i didnt let him put his arm around me/didnt hold hands/hug/giggle about it with girlfriends&other xrated stuff - god what was i thinking!! oh well trying to make up for lost time now : )

Have fun out there but i still say be smart about what you say to whom - aaage tumhari marzi : ) i hope you nto only get the cake but get to eat it too any way you see fit.

aicha

Dear Zehra and Zehra Sr.

You two are class acts. I hope you get all that you seek in life.

EK

fzk khala,
that was so sincere and heartfelt...and right on the money.

one day i wont fear being judged.

thanks :)

zehra jr.

Aicha#74

Then my sentence shdve been, a clear conscience

and guts.. :)

i can relate to what u say and somehow im one of those who babble out stuff too, everything, i know i will be judged and have my fears, but what i truly wd like and i think so wd Zehra Jr, and those like her, is to be accepted & loved in my entirety, evenutally then my fears will end FOREVER (of being judged etc), and i will be who I am, what I am, with who i want to be with- in ultimate intimacy, good and bad - With more wholesomeness in my sharing of self. Nahi?

*phew long sentence! *

No guts, no glory, no pain, no true gain, even in attachments. Love and War :)

Honesty has caused me some severe pain esp. when ppl i have revealed all to, walked away sometimes, and i have often questioned if it was becos i said all?, but no, in the long run, it is best. Leaves me with a clearer soul. Maybe they werent honest with me in the first place - who wants that?

Why wd i want to live with fears and isnt it a form of deception to leave loopholes? Id rather by loved on being chosen for my entirety. It was their weakness not to be able to withstand my truth and maybe they were too weak to love anyway.

What has to go will go, if its meant to, anyway.

Now my meaning isnt to hurt someone by being brash. Just wanted to clear that too.

And then there are those who like living in this world in denials with their rosecolored glasses on- a perfect lil make believe world.

As for a feeling of shame, thats a paradox, while ppl fear shame to tell all, shdnt they feel more shame for hiding stuff, isnt honesty a truer valueable quality then hiding facts?

That varies from ppl to ppl.

Or fears of being understood.

But nothing is impossible, even understanding.

If they really want to understand or be understood.

Sometimes its just plain obstinancy

or denial or selfcenteredness or wanting to have ones cake and eating it too.

Im digressing.. :)

Am i clearer or vaguer or both? :)

rgds,

Zehra Sr.

fzk ``... jab allah se hum kuch nahi chupa sakte hein to aap logon ko kiya fikr ke koi insaan doosre insaan se kiya chupae ya na chupae? It takes a clear conscience to be upfront like that, kiyon? :)))) ``

Fact of life (one that was pointed out to me by my closest friend in a very hurt tone) is that we find it so hard to share out little secrets with the ones we are closest to and can rattle off the same w/o even blinking to absolute strangers. I guess it is the fear of being judged or rather misjudged tahn a matter of clearing ones conscience.

aicha

Zehra jaani,

Agar aap mere naqshe kadmon pur chal rahi hein to

phir patta nahi kahan pohnche geen - hum ab tak chale jaarahe hein, no thikana whatsoever.. :) its nice to know there are others who have taken on the bold adventurous spirit too. :)

keep going, i hope your pagdandi brings u more

love and happiness than ever, regardless anything, eventually. Whatever eventually means, that is. :)

ylh? get a life. :) it was a good honest piece and ure too much of a coward to admit it.

hi farzana, ashes, hunh?

urstruly, u and my niece have v. strange chemistry.

hey bina, how goes it? ;)

Others i will know on chowk in good time :)

Kal ki fikrein chorro yaaron, jab allah se hum kuch nahi chupa sakte hein to aap logon ko kiya fikr ke koi insaan doosre insaan se kiya chupae ya na chupae? It takes a clear conscience to be upfront like that, kiyon? :))))

Zehra, keep writing all, u mirror some us less endowed with writing skills and its refreshing to see the truth of these feelings expressed as is,

so people can relate to it in their own way and therefore not feel alone.

rgds all,

Zehra Sr.

Re: Rsaxena and Scout

Guys,

I was only kidding. I liked the peace here as well :)

Now behaaaave you two :)

Asim

Re: scroutch

``beta, relax, you`re the kid here getting all hyped up when anything related to sex appears in an interact.``

Don`t you have an ounce of creativity?

Isn`t it time for you to put your foot in your mouth and then deny it or try to fudge it?

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Nice flow of words.
Too old now to relate to the content.

Ras

rsuxena #67, ``These kids on Chowk (scout, etc.) may go home and try them.``

beta, relax, you`re the kid here getting all hyped up when anything related to sex appears in an interact.

tsk tsk, baray ho jao...