Trip to Perversion

I read your article , problem with our society is that we are stranded ,because we have lost our social and religious values now we stand no where,our society is not mature enough to go with global trends.

``Oaay

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(girl name) ko kiss nay chehra???``

Now this is one common phrase I used to hear before half of the ``phadda``s in karachi 7 years ago. As almost every house in mohalla, there were at least 3 to 4 kids in house reaching puberty (some distinct houses has above six.. couldn’t pull up problems). The frustrations and anger of not getting the ``forbidden fruits`` were in the air in that desi society and it always will because of the way we live.

That was the society where Brothers are supposed to protect their sisters but openly do ``POONDI`` with other`s sisters at ``POONDI CHOWK``. The thug`s sister was a big no no for every Lallu, Kalloo and Rammoo (Tome, Dick and Harry)

Back in my neighborhood, there were territories bounded to different group of local boys/thugs. The PHADDA starters were considered as macho and saviors of mohalla’s Cinderella(s). They often gets testosterone boosters by these ``blessed`` girls of mohalla, most of the time it is just a smile which ``makes the day`` for rest of the month unless something new happens. Boys talks for these incidents for days like `` BEHEN CH.!! kal Salma mujhay line day rahee thee`` and ``Ooaay hooaay, aj to bohat aa rahee hay khirki pay`` wagera wagera.

It was some innocent fun. The neighborhood marked by areas and everything including the chicks belongs to local boys. They do not let outsiders come in and do shit but they often do POONDI with girls who have no brothers OR brother is in Dubai. ``Neeli Wali meri and Peeli walli teri`` words followed by the laugh utters from the boys who never had courage to further proceed the ``line``.

Now when I visit Pak about a year ago, things have changed. Yes! People are still shy according to standards of New York, but the point is society is changing. More and more women are standing up for rights. Especially in Karachi, I was amazed to see the boldness, wasn’t present couple of years ago. Or may be I am now judging and comparing. I was being told my ex chokas bachi number 1 Kiran got married to a “shareef banda” next street. Baychara!! (Picturing Kiran being the man in this relationship ;-)), 2nd p-nter, beenish gets two kids and third is on the way by someone who has more hair in ears then on his head.
I fall into nightmares of being calling ``Mammooo aa gai maaamoo aa gai``. hehehe

I still love how it works in our society as long as things are in a limit. Yes, there are problems and stuff but problems are in every society. What you call the Teenage mommies of U.S, a results of “culture of equal respect” or the underage sex worker from Thailand, a results of “culture of money hungry bastard parents making girls a slave”? At least we don’t see this in our streets.

Whatever one calls, but its a culture of separation of sexes in Pakistan which is changing rapidly. It brings problems where chutiyaas having adjustment issues. The culture also exists up to a certain extent in the west as well where boys go to club and try to dance and mingle with everyone they can get their hands on.
Boys will always be Boys!!

=== Interact Removed ===

The great Ghalib had said:-

Chher khoobaN se chali jae Asad
Gar naheeN wasl to hasrat hi sahi

And Sahir Ludhianvi says:-

Payar karne pih kioN roothte ho tum
Payar aata he payaar aata he payaar karte heiN

And Allama Iqbal says:-

Tu chhupa chhupa ke nah rakh ise tera aaina he woh aaina
Kih shikata ho to aziz tar he nigahe aaina saaz meiN

What about the women teasers? The first teaser in recorded history was a woman named Zulekha of Egypt who tried to rape Yousaf and on failing got him jailed. At least so goes the story in the Quran. Yousaf escaped death sentence because Egypt was not an Islamic state and the Hadood Laws did not work there. So beware of these women of the Pakland. They can tease you and then get you `Rajamised` or hanged by invoking the Hadood Laws.

What surprises me the most, on this article`s interact, is the missing participation of some perverts on board!

I guess they have decided to act decently :)

See, women will have to be the torchbearers of any change.

Men, just need to follow women more often :)

Hello every one,

Thank you for understanding my point and sharing your thoughts, how ever I wasn`t responsible for the term `` eve teasing`` in any way ( just thought I should clear the confusion). I am glad to see I am not the only one who stood up and discussed this issue, feel happy that many of you feel the same way and the ones who doesn`t; all I can say is you need to be in our( all the women who have experienced this) shoes to really know, how it feels, and about women who ask for the attention, then they deserve it, but women who are not asking for it..shouldn`t be getting it. I feel it doesn`t make a difference if u wear a bikin or a burqa if a guy want`s to perve, he will! Ofcourse this is my opinion.

Thank you for reading.

Nida

hi all...
first of all, id agree with farzana, who ever coined ``eve teasing`` was defintely not in his/her right mind...(come on ppl, it could be anyone)

It was only recently until i became aware of absurd and unacceptable treatment meted out to female sin our society. it was then that i started noticing thes ethings. there are incidents in my office as well, not to this extreme an extent, but factually, i do believe that some to coem under the context of sexual harassment. The situation is ore than pathetic at many places.

I am not a pessimist, but rather a realist. I feel extremely sorry at not being able to do anything to fix this, however, on a personal social level, i have made all possible efforts to eliminate al such acts. Here i do confess that some of my friends have been involved in acts that i woudl label as harassment, but i am also pleased to indicate that i have been successful.

I just wish all of us (whether male of female) work through our social circles to spread awareness (im not talking about lecturing people) and to elimiate this sad facet of our society.

The west isnt too far behind either, but realistaically, lets just work on our own fronts first to bring a positive change.
]
Best wishes to all.

NIDA,

There is no excuse for this behavior but we let the men get away with it because women have no say in our society. A woman is a second class citizen, has no rights and is treated according to the wishes of the first class citizen the omnipotent men.
Looking is one thing but progressing to touching or groping is a whole different ball game. This denotes that men are not afraid of the consequences and as will do it as long as they can get away with it.
This is not just a problem of teasing it has created a social web of evil which is repressing the women even further. When a woman goes to school or work she is teased and harassed, but she rarely complains even to her own family, why? Because she knows they will tell her to stay at home and she will end up with nothing.
I believe until we give our women the respect she deserves and until the day comes when men are afraid of some consequences women have to suffer.
I personally, retaliate because to me no one has the right to treat me like that. I believe that confidence comes from the support of your family. I have hit and kicked a few men for touching and yes groping in a bazaar inspite of a full length chadar. I believe women have to stand up against this abuse but like I said it can only be possible with the support of your family.

Re: # 22
You have to remember hush the odds of a women NOT getting Chirafied in a bazzar are less...So when she screams murder people will beleive her because they know theu just done the same thing with another lass..
Believe me no girls like THAT kind of attention..to be the one to get a guy beaten up because the rest will just eye her up thinking...MMhhmmm..acha isko chair raha tah...
What reverse discrimination???

Re: # 21

Amrita. I don`t agree. I cannot say that if women do these things they`ll be condemned and guys will be left by saying `boys are boys`. I think its the opposite in the middle class societies because nobody expects women to do any thing of this sort so they are bailed out even from getting suspected.

You know..if in a crowded bazaar of karachi a decent girl shouts pointing towards a guy ``yeh mere saath badtameezi kar raha hey`; that guy would be beaten up by other men without even giving the accused any chance of saying something. Whats this? Reverse discrimination??

Re: # 20
asal majrah yeh hai...

when men act on their baser instincts, people can look away and mutter about reprehensible behavior all they want - no one is going to actually do anything about it, except perhaps the woman he accosted if she felt up to it. If a woman were to act the same way, all the world would immediately be on her head crying condemnation.

We are socially conditioned to act the way we do. No one is going to sit by and let a girl whistle away to her heart`s content. When boys do it, people say ``Kya karen, boys will be boys.``

Of course most women dont need to be that coarse when showing their interest. Most of us do jes` fine with one lil look...;-)

Re: # 7

`So my friend shed the shuttlecock and be your own women.`

hhmm in contradiction to the above, Islam says a women needs to wear a hijab to prevent her from such kid ov abuse, so the shuttlecock or no shuttlecock.. that dosent make a difference coz as nida pointed in her article that her male friend or cousin had pointed out the fact that it was coz of the way woman dressed that they were teased..

back to the topic at hand, many ppl have agreed to the following questions..

Are these men frustrated?
Are these men lonely?
Are these men just pathetic individuals who have no respect for women?
Are they just bored?
Are these men uneducated and unaware?

now lets replace the gender in the above questions, even woman r frustrated, lonely, uneducated etc, but they donot resort to such behaviour, arent we human with the same social needs then why such a drastic difference in the way we project our frustration, loneliness n bla bla bla...

asal majarah kya hai...

Re: # 18
.so what do you suggest they should wear mini skirts to solve the problem....
Anything that they feel comfortable in, burka or miniskirts,Anything that is less a symbol of subjugation and more of independence. It may differ from culture to culture.It is not so much about showing or hiding skin. It is more about the expectation of the eve teaser that one would or would not retaliate. Just starting wearing such clothes would not change someones personality;this only indicates that the issues are deeper.

Re: # 7
The reason i was wearing a Chaddar was i had jeans and a jumper on..so it would have looked outta place in a Bazzar....so Do u now think he wanted to know whether or not the jeans were designer....or bought from that Bazzar???
I totally disagree...that if you wear a Burqaah you will get teased more.. nonsense.
the amount of stories iv heard about getting Duppata`s pulled are endless...so what do you suggest they should wear mini skirts to solve the problem....

Re: # 16
You see, some of it, if not all, has to do with control, a perversion in it self.
This,from soulkeeper, has some merit. Eve teasing and groping wont decrease if women start going around in burqaas or ghoonghats, it will increase. As for the ``nice guys believe that her independence frees them of all responsibility since she can handle it``, they will know better after meeting a Rupan Deol Bajaj.

I wonder whose bright idea it was to use the term ``eve teasing`` in the blurb. It merely conveys something slightly wicked, whereas it is far worse.

I also cannot fathom how religion comes into the picture. The male in the subcontinent is no doubt repressed, but some of the major cases of groping and grabbing have been revealed by women who were intimidated by powerful men, from Hollywood and the Pentagon/White House.

This brings me to another point that most people seem to miss. It is easy to pick on the roadside jerks, but what about the sophisticated, educated, even well-established, respected creeps? These men who flaunt themselves as nice guys will display the most disgusting behaviour or stand by and watch as a woman is being riled by a bunch of `enlightened` men. To make matters worse, they blame things on alcohol or even jet lag.

As someone said, one should slap miscreants. How many of us can mete out the same treatment to the `gentlemen`, especially since many of them are known to us or we have been introduced to them in a most respectable setting?
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As regards soulkeeper`s comment, Indian/Pak men may get intimidated by a woman in Western clothes only if she is blonde and has blue eyes. A desi who is uninhibited and straightforward in manner and deportment is easy game. For the lumpens, she is seen as one who has broken the rules; the above-mentioned nice guys believe that her independence frees them of all responsibility since she can handle it.