The First or the Last Letter

a very very heart wrenching article


``It is our basic elements that decide the best combination for our hearts and souls. Anything less is just a rational way of giving up on love.``

im lost for words!

I will never feel alone until you leave my side. So many times I catch myself thinking what a fine father you will make. That would explain my smile when you try to ease out my worries. I must confess that most of the things I bring up do not worry me much, but I cannot remedy the desire to hear what you have to say about it. I need these moments with you to live on. Whenever I am alone I relive them a zillion times. I could tell you more about yourself than you would have noticed in a lifetime. Please don’t laugh at my silly heart because I feel I owe you absolute honesty if even you find it comical.

True magic ... real touchy stuff, carry on the good work (Y)

simple but impressive and heart touching


Sometimes when we have people around, you pretend you don’t notice I am there. Honestly, you have the nerve to look at me and then move on as if you saw no one in particular. It hurts like hell! But when I do the same thing to you, you get that pained, sullen look on your face and you make me regret that I hurt your feelings. Why do you do it?
I quietly listen to everything you say and feel it deep inside, knowing that later I will spend hours pondering over all you have said.

#17 MiriamK:

Before this board moves off the FP, I would like to add just one more thing. I do hold very strong views on certain issues (and what I think of as certain standards) and do not hold back in what I say related to them, even if a particular occasion or event may be none of my business. I do sometime tend to get carried away and use words that I wouldn’t use if I were to follow a more cool-headed and detached point of view. Also, I can not promise that I won’t continue to do that. Thanks for putting up with some of my stronger words!

I am sure that in spite of any outrageous things you may have said (or maybe done), you are a person with a sensible head.

Believe me, (based on personal experience) I fully know that graduate school is REALLY hard work, and I wish you all the success and good luck in your particular line of study!

simple yes, beautiful yes, but there is not enough umph!

simple yes, beautiful yes, but there is not enough umph!

simple yes, beautiful yes, but there is not enough umph!

Beej:

Glad you’ve surfaced from the self-imposed exile. Although I see from #15 that nacheez jee is still a little worse for wear from exposure to “undiluted tripe”. No worries, small steps…that’s what I say. Today you’re on Chowk, tomorrow you might actually be able to leave home.

Aray jee, no harshness detected whatsoever. In fact appreciate knowing the etymology of the name.

#10 MiriamK (some clarification)

The seven numbered items in #15 below (on the life of Miriam) are taken virtually verbatim from a particular Judaism web site, with my minimal editing to shorten it. My purpose was to simply summarize Miriam’s life. As I read it a few hours later, the serious nature of the wording inadvertently appears to imply a note of harshness (in this board’s context), which was not my intention. If the wording (which was the web-site’s, and you can compare yourself) caused any apparent stridency to appear (or any such harshness), I am sorry about that. I did not mean to convey any such negative thoughts! Really! Thanks. :)

Reply to #10 MiriamK

I don’t mean to distract the rapt attention of the vast (as well as open-mouthed and jaws-dropped (not to mention dissipated and passed out)) chowk masses from the very serious and heartfelt issues that dear Amber here has presented so eloquently. He has certainly made his case as powerfully as can be made under the circumstances and needs no lawyer - certainly no “seedy” lawyer (“seedy” being a play on the word “Beej” (Tempo bhai saab, that was for you, since I don’t believe you are humor-impaired, either! (It’s perhaps another matter whether you abhor being seen laughing in public, though.)))

But MiriamK, I do notice that while purportedly avowing to eschew the liberal droppings of those “smileys” and the “winkies” in #10, you have simultaneously managed to generously intersperse them throughout those measly three lines of text that you had such great trouble coming up with (and after such tremendous efforts too, alas what must have been YOUR muse)! I hope the grad school is not operated by a Madrassah or something (I am sorry Ntsyed-saab, if I inadvertently hurt your feelings by saying that). To me, that indicates the spirit of a rebel – a definite red flag to a life yearning for suffocation under a stranglehold of conventions!

MiriamK, THAT’S NOT KOSHER! Period.

Therefore, since my curiosity in your name got raised by another notch, I did some Google search on your name (leaving the “K” part of it out of it, for now anyway.) I came up with the following pieces of information which really impressed me!

MiriamK, did you know the following?

1) Miriam was Moses`s older sister. She was (probably) seven years older than Moses, but other sources seem to indicate that she was older than that.

2) Miriam was a prophetess in her own right, the first woman described that way in scripture. (According to tradition, she prophesied before Moses`s birth that her parents would give birth to the person who would bring about their people`s redemption.)

3) Miriam led the women of Israel in a song and dance of celebration after the Pharaoh`s men were drowned in the sea.

4) Miriam is said to be the ancestress of other creative geniuses in Israel`s history.

5) Miriam was righteous, so a well followed her people through the desert throughout their wanderings, and remained with them until the day of Miriam`s death (and to think that some people can spend an eternity wailing about “do boond paani”!)

6) Miriam was not perfect. She led her brother Aaron to speak against Moses over a matter involving a Cushite woman he had married (Zipporah, or possibly a second wife). They also objected to his leadership, noting that he had no monopoly on Divine Communication. For this, Miriam was punished with the affliction named tzaaras. However, Aaron pled on her behalf, and she was cured.

7) Miriam died in the desert before her people reached the Promised Land.

In view of all those facts, and especially no. 6, (and also the trivial fact that you are not REALLY Miriam but just another human being), here is a suggestion to make you KOSHER again. All you have to do is to publicly recite the following (tailor-made) version of the American pledge of allegiance (who knows, we Americans can then be softened just enough to grant you a U.S. visa if someday you need to visit here.)

So here is the (tailor-made) pledge:

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag, and to the public for which it stands, one unit, indivisible, with equality, liberty and justice for all.”

Of course, only time will tell if you are up to THIS challenge! Thank you, MiriamK.

(P.S.: after further thought (and especially so I don’t need to come up with yet another long interact), feel free to use those smileys, winkies, twinkies, whatever, to your heart’s content. Have a feast!)

(P.P.S.: The word “lowly” was (supposedly) your own (from another interact), so you don’t need to put it within quotes, unless you don’t really believe it (but then that would mean you said something that you did not believe in, another definite red flag)!!)

(P.P.P.S.: Ajee, I wasn`t really serious about the Jee! Samjhee?)

Re: # 12

Dear Beejay,I can only agree that its a hard world.Love is over overridden by practicality.i guess thats the reason that we dont have modern versions of laila-majnu,heer ranjha etc!!

Thanks
slan

....there is also a tongue in cheek wistfulness...

there is that word `also`

with the heading and reading between her lines a certain premontion peeks through...the sighs clouding the room...as if she is aware of the answer

(crystal-gazing over)

To #11, Slan

Dear Slan:

I somehow get this feeling that you are a genuine interactor and a real person (in these days, one can never be sure, for people have become such experts at talking to a mirror and have even been awarded kudos for it (in my personal view, I find that last (and for me, an eye-opener) part inherently dishonest and patently offensive, and I stand by my right to speak my mind)). So, I will take a chance and say the following (straight from MY heart)!

Please believe me (and I really, really mean it), I personally put a lot of value in things that are genuine, which I call “real things” (as compared to (however well) contrived or faked ones - no matter whether one is talking about fake values, fake vision, fake virtues, fake victories, or perhaps even fake verse!) otherwise I would not have returned from self-exile to put up #9. This “article” is a real thing and I sincerely mean it, Amber! (As I said earlier, its genuineness is very reassuring.) I fully agree with the “simple and lovely read” bit also.

We all know (and Amber also implies in his text) that out there also exists the REAL world (distinct from the virtual chowk world) with its own set of very hard rules. These rules, if not followed just the way stipulated, automatically lead to hard lessons quickly.

Therefore, real choices in life are always compromises made from within very much narrower ranges of parameters, because there are always too many constraints. That is something one learns to live with. In my personal view, and speaking in general, women can be more level-headed than they are given credit for in such matters. There is also the possibility (as delicately pointed out in #5) that the chemistry may not be working in an identical manner in each direction. Even that ought to be counted just as another fact of life. After all, for example, how a “twinkle” gets interpreted is completely up to the interpreter.

I hope this clarifies my views on this issue and also that I had not the slightest intention of sounding insensitive! Thanks.

Beej.

Re: # 9

Dear BeeJay, I know ur post is addressed to the author, but I would like to say that I interpreted the sunshine bit as a comparison.others might not feel the glow or warmth ,however the author does , thats what love is about.(some say its pheromones.I prefer not to have a physical explaination for it,I think that will kill the emotion.who knows in these times when everything is commercial they might start manufacturing them!!!!!,I just love the way it is-abstract)

similarly,the eye has a twinkle just like the stars,which the author sees but others might not.
And finally about destiny,I interpretted it as complete surrender, another quality of love.

Is there another interpretation?

Beejay jee:

What to do, “lowly” grad. students only have a limited arsenal of plain words. But to make you happy :), I’ll really try and cut down :) on the “smileys” and “winkies” :) ;).
O.k Beejay jee? Does that sound like a plan :)?

Dear Amber:

I return (please hold the groans, everyone) from a ten-day break (self-imposed after massive exposure to some undiluted tripe). I find your article a pleasant change (everyone please take note, I call EVERYTHING an article so no wisecracks, please!).

It seems to come straight from the heart and meant to hit directly at it! Genuineness is very reassuring. A well-done effort which must be complimented!

One change that I would have suggested to this (letter format) article would be to add a post-script which, instead of leaving it off as an open question, could tie into its (perhaps foregone (and well-scripted)) conclusion:

“P.S.: I know, I know…the Person is also a person.”

Notes:

[I love the sound of your voice though and sometimes I listen so ardently to it that I lose track of what you are saying. You have this musical baritone with a tinge of cheerfulness and I can never get out of my head.]
You make it sound eerily siren-like.

[Your presence radiates a glow and warmth like sunshine and I bask in the radiance of your being. Then, there is something about your eyes when you look at me. You have big, honest eyes, with stars that twinkle…]
Sunshine, of course, covers the whole world and can not be captured by an (any) individual. It’s the same with the stars.

[Awaiting my destiny!]
A highly fatalistic outlook! Also, there is more to destiny than one person.


Note to #3 and #4:
What you say is perhaps VIRTUALLY true!

#5 MiriamK
Will you take it easy on all those smileys [ :) ] and sometimes winks [ ;) ] that you keep on dropping here and there! Don’t they teach “lowly” grad students how to communicate using plain words (instead of so much higher math)? Oops, I forgot, you are on record that your reverence for arts and literature is “cultivated”. Also, feel free to call me “BeeJay jee” (so I don’t feel left out)!