I miss you

There`s a nice flow to the writing and the descriptions are vivid but the theme is pretty old and there`s no real depth. Good work though - hope to see you writing more.

Like I said earlier, I liked the narration of your story. However, I do understand Nadia K`s irritation with Nadia_Zehra.

There are two forms of criticism. The kind of criticism that is acceptable is one which is based on a literary foundation. One that explains the weakness of the article in reference to its art. This kind of criticism is welcomed and accepted as it helps the writer/poet to grow. However, there is a second kind of criticism that is based solely on biased baseless opinion; that rests upon the fact that it did not appeal to the individuals ‘taste’, which often then translates into `attacks`.

Unfortunately, Nadia_Zehra has that habit. As she ripped of my poem by calling it a `dormant` attempt. In addition, she failed to grasp my crucial line. However, in a weaker poem published few days ago, she comments it being really good, while everyone else agreed on its weak attempt.

So take no notice ;)

excellent work!
hope to see some more good stuff .... try some poetry im sure ull do good..
and dont worry about the comments ... just consentrate on expressing ur feelings the way u want..

@Nadia_K,
This one is also critical. Your article is okay. But it lacks substance. Tugging on emotional strings works, sometimes. But unless you have a solid tale to tell behind that emotional string-jerking, then you are up a certain creek without a certain instrument. ``her bare feet barely touching...``, that`s just plain bad writing, you should use any of a half a dozen synonyms for ``barely``. In short, this story should be a place-holder in a Mills & Boon novel, after the part where the woman in her mid 30s loses her husband but right before the part where she finds the rough, hardened loner who she turns into a caring, warm and cuddly teddy-bear with her tender affections.

@Nadia_Zehra,
Wow, your insight into AI blows me over. But just to me help out, would you please clarify what you mean by a) layering up of code b) Viewable for interaction in a higher genetic way.

Regards,
Irfan.

PS: Computer code is not singular or plural, there`s no such thing as ``a computer code``, neither is there ``computer codes``, there`s just code.

What a comment kaurasach, lolz!!!!! :-).i liked that.

Thank you Elusive:) i will try harder next time:))

My very candid opinion:

I have seen certain really good pieces stacked down in the unplugged section of Chowk which should have been there on the main page. And, sadly, they have been much better than this one.

Nevertheless,this short, piece by Mizz_Nadia , indeed echoes sentiments which majority of us have felt at some point in our lives and therefore, indeed most of us can relate to it.

But, frankly, the writing style is quite amateurish , but, there is definately room for improvement and i am sure that next time we will get to see, something, more descriptive and more polished from Mizz_nadia`s side.This is definately not your best piece Mizz_nadia but i am looking forward to reading something beter from you. I hope you won`t disappoint us.

All my regards and good luck.

** no offence intended- just an honest opinion- constructive critiscism my friend.**

Re: # 27
... war between two nadias is always fascinating... last time it was between nadia commanecci and nadia plushtikova...and commanecci came on top with a perfect ten..infact the first `ten` in the history of the games...coming to the present nadias...i donot understand the high faluting english of nadia zehra, hence i skip her profound thoughts, while the newbie nadia mizz writes in a language i can understand... and that my dear people is the only piece of wisdom on this thread...;)

Re: # 25

I appreciate everyones comment...neg and positive...really i do....what i didnt understand is why Nadia_Z Attacked so emotionally...she went OTT.

I am not a writer...i would like to be...and have alot to learn...i need to be told how i should improve...and not disheartened by someone who didnt criticise but instead blamed the Chowk for putting up my piece...i dont see any fairness in that...

Peace:)

Re: # 25

I appreciate everyones comment...neg and positive...really i do....what i didnt understand is why Nadia_Z Attacked so emotionally...she went OTT.

I am not a writer...i would like to be...and have alot to learn...i need to be told how i should improve...and not disheartened by someone who didnt criticise but instead blamed the Chowk for putting up my piece...i dont see any fairness in that...

Peace:)

Miss Nazia,

Please treat this as honest assessment:

``The twinkling lights faded out the cool soft breeze turned crisp and uncomfortable sending shivers down her spine``

Notwithstanding your writing skills this writeup doesnt cut with me. Perhaps crying in bed is such a woman thing. Perhaps I`m so comfortable with people around me that I dont miss the dead or the deserted. Or perhaps I`m just a heartless bastard :)

``Aila! This is turning out to be a self-assessment`` :))

But nahin, I`m not. So why doesnt it affect me like it does to others? Maybe, the void-the emptiness left behind from your beloved doesnt come out very clearly here. Or maybe I just dont like sad-melancholic stories. Or perhaps I`ve had my quota in Kafka.

Please please dont treat this as a review on your writing skills as such. From the few lines above it`s evident that I`m not qualified to judge your writing skills.

Cheers

this is not FAIR..
if Nadia Zehra didnt like the peice and said so..Mizz nadia should take the criticism and get on with it.
Come on..so what if she didnt like it, If you got the guts to write an article post it for all to see and comment on, be ready to take the eggs and tomatoe`s which come with it. What did you expect everyone to fall in love with your article. Believe me i enjoyed it alot, when i was scrolling down to comment on it..the way you have fought with Nadia over her NOT liking it..has pushed away people who could give you their opinion, advice or praise on the article.

Be a sport and take it all in good grace.
It wasnt bad, brings back memories of people who you lost in your life. really touchy.
Keep on writing!

but please dont dissect my post.

woops!!... you know what, i just read it again and i have to agree with you... i dont know what i was thinking... it came out sans coherence... nevermind but keep writing...

cheers!

Re: # 20

``everybody has his/her own space to write ``

Oh really? then how come u have such a boot up ur behind about my piece?

``I am not made for chowk and I never have made clear cut Great Expectations either. It is my perceptions to analyze certain elemnts and react accordingly irrespective genderly. ``

Oh! you are not made for chowk? for one moment i actually thought u ran this place...u sure as hell sound like it from ur comments...
Ur perception sux..and ur analyzing is overflowing with criticism..
Ever seen a lil kid sulking and being stubborn over the fact someone else got the candy they wanted? thats what you are doing...sulking over the fact my piece which may not be a masterpiece in ur high mighty eyes..landed the front page...

Well get over it..and if u r heated and got a problem...start a forum or a discussion somewhere else...talk about seeking ATTENTION...Ur unprovoked attack does nothing but make u appear jealous...

I have not wrote for ur benefit so that u can splash your crass comments over..my first attempt at writing...I am pretty sure ur first piece wasnt oozing with talent...

Nice profound imagery Nadia. Nadia K thats is. Keep writing.
Take it easy Nadia....errr...Naida Z that is. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, you could at least try and live up to that saying. :)

#20 Nadia Zehra

You are absolutely right, of course. (When did I ever say you were wrong? (Plus, I like a few enjoyable things in my life (like staying alive as distinct from being eaten alive)). We are digressing way off the topic at hand! So I will cease and desist.

Chowk editors and writers (and wannabe writers), if you are reading this (wait a minute – shouldn’t you be writing instead of reading?), please take no notice of any inadvertent crass remarks from me that may have landed into your plates! (Okay, you want me to butter you up don’t you? Well, here it is, come a little bit closer – Psst, it was meant for everybody but YOU! Happy NOW?!)

Nadia Zehra, you are right, I am wrong! You are the big shoe, I’m the tiny dust particulate.

So, you see, here I retreat – beaten up and utterly humiliated in defeat – like a wet cat. With my tail between my legs – head bowed in sheer, sheer sorrow and dejection writ large (in Times Roman font size 90, as some would say)!

But tell me the truth, Nadia Zehra, didn’t in one tiny corner of your heart, feel a little bit of the emotion that this (namesake of yours) writer conveys in her short story – about the death of a beloved? Remember, no fibbing allowed! Come on, out with IT!!!