Limiting Images

The Wellesleys of the World would always try to obfuscate the truth with their self-contrived paradigms of eternal bliss.

You are dead right, a Wellesley would never mention the woman who chose Rizwan over Richard, or the one who chose modesty over wanton exhibition of MODERNISM ( I am sure you know what I am talking about )...but trust me , people would be people: weird, idiosyncratic, naive and horribly biased!

This world isnt utopia cos if it were, the concept of Heaven would have been a folly ( it isnt ..i am sure u believe ).

I Like the poignant analysis in your writing, keep it up but ...dont give up hope, this world was not meant to be perfect. It is only us, that need to be better ( if A does something, it doesnt always warrant a knee-jerk response ) in our own deeds..and the rest will automatically stabilize. Even if it doesnt, this world is not the apogee of creation, never WAS, and never WILL BE!

SO .............keep the faith and dont despair

Allah haafiz

Hellooo,

Again, a very well written article. I might not agree with everything you say though. I don`t see anything wrong in being transformed into a browner version of `them`. Maybe I say this because I`ve never lived in my country. Growing up in the middle east is like growing up in the best of both worlds. But, my country has never done anything for me, I know I know, ``Ask not what your.....`` but still, all I`ve gotten out of my country is a constant source of embarassment.

I was very happy to adopt the American way of life. Here`s an example... Americans WANT to learn more about you. True, they may be ignorant, but they still attempt to learn your language, your culture. They try to appreciate your ethnic arts (indian dancing girl), however pretentious it may seem, at least they`re trying.

What do Desi`s do? They come to the United States, decide to socialize with ONLY other Desi`s. Don`t try to learn anything new. Nothing. What`s the point of coming here if the only thing you`re going to learn is what was taught in the class room.

Anyhow, you DO have some valid concerns. We shouldn`t sell ourselves out completely. I still have a great respect for some aspects of my culture. Although, the times are-a changin, and so should our South Asian Nations. They need to get with the times and soon, or else they will be left too far behind to ever catch up.

Bravo! finally, someone who talks about more then the obvious, cliched topics (i.e: Lahoris at Cafe Zouk)...and is welling to explore the `intricacies of reality.` Quite suprising...especially from someone from Wellesley (j.k.)

Faisal

re ferozk

HA HA HA. that did crack me up, though its silly. well, i certainly hope you dont get depressed.

re: Zehra
I agree with most of what you say with regards to multiculturalism. However, regulated multiculturalism defeats the whole purpose of multiculturalism, doesn`t it ? I guess you just have to take the pieces you like and ignore the undesirable parts. In my opinion, there is not much else to that debate.

Re: Ferozk (58)

Funny! Really enjoyed that theme from Cops!

Re: BG

I was just being moronic ! On the other hand, I can not resist saying this( sung like the theme from the show ``Cops``); Bad girl, bad girl whatcha ya gonna do when they come for you...!

I think that I am in my silly mode right now and until my next bout of depression, I am going to be one strange cat!

re ferozk

tangents can sometimes be more interesting than the discussion, but pick up lines?? maybe you should take it to chowk fourm, bud.

re aliya,

i have no idea..perhaps i`m burning out :))

re feroz,

i do agree with you in theory. i dont generally gripe about it this much but lately i`ve just been seeing the bad in things.am working on adopting a more cheerful attitude by watching lots of tv and practicing the dentonic man smile.

Temporal..that is a very good question to bring up..why is it that men are intimidated by beautiful, intelligent women? My parents are begginning to wish that they hadn`t educated there three daughters now. two PhD`s in the family is not going to bode well for the rishta flow. on the other hand, my parents have me. like shandana i have somewhat put my eduation on hiatus for the time being. two years of college and i wasnt sure what i wanted. i got a job and now audit classes for the most part because, i dint want to stop learning. i suppose im proving a point ot myself and to other people that i want to be educated for the sake of education and not for the sake of getting a degree. a degree is a useless piece of paper, unless you want to get a job and have credibility. i hate the workings of this world. cant get anywhere without that stoopid piece of paper. i will eventually get a degree im sure, but why not take my time. as anita said, college is not just for the young. according ot my calculations i will well into my twenties by the time i get a bachelors and near fifty when i get my PhD. by then amee abbu will have given up on their idea of marrying me off and i can peacefully educate myself.

re: multiculturalism.

ranaransher (and others) write about mutliculturalism being a good thing and i do agree..but only to some extent. its great that people are more aware of other cultures and otehr ways of living but when it becomes something that one has to continually uphold, it becomes problematic. i am expected to be more south asian then i may want to be and i am expected (rfom people outside my culture) to be able to name good indian restaurants in ny and philly or be able to talk about the latest anita desai book or film shabana azmi is in. never mind that i am able to do all of that, it should not be expected of me. multiculturalism is getting widespread and becomming to much of a PC concept. why cant us multicultural people just be ourselves and not worry?

rizvi

Re: Ferozk (Reply 48)

`` true worth of a teacher is … in the eyes of their students. … No amount of money can make a good teacher or compenstate one``

Teaching is an extremely important job and is undervalued in most societies. Teachers have a right to earn a good wage and the ``noble profession`` spin only reinforces the disparity, and defers any debate on compensation in this field. As regards college degrees implying better teachers, I agree its no guarantee. If slink is liked by her students and is doing her job effectively, she deserves the same pay as any college grad. I think the headmistress probably likes to display `degreed` teachers on her masthead, and as such wants to attract them with higher packages. Especially the `foreign qualified` ones, which help her attract the English Medium `burger` (as opposed to Urdu Medium bun kabab) crowd. If slink decided to walk and there was a perceived threat that parents would follow her to another school, she could quadruple her salary on the spot.

Random (pay your teachers) Gekko

Incidently, does anyone know what is the favorite desi pickup line these days ?

My favorite works this way. If I spot an attractive woman, I look at her, making sure that there is eye contact, all the while smiling. Soon enough she notices me and I keep looking at her, not staring, but stealing glances, telling her that I am interested in her. I ususally wait for her to say ``hi, how are you doing?`` My response is always, ``thanks, a lot better now!``. That gets a conversation going and rest is just a pleasant memory!

BTW, this off topic, but...

This is my opinion, so don`t sue me over it. There are two ways of picking up women in bars, clubs, parties etc. You can be either a hunter or a predator. A hunter is someone who goes out and activily searches for women and tries to pick them up. A predator, on the other hand, is someone who waits for them to come to him. I favor the latter approach.

The other line that has worked in the past is: if you like a woman, establish eye contact with her and make sure that she is looking at you and just mimic the words ``thanks``. The rest is up to you! Trust me, it works! And, then there is always the napkin approach...:)

Incidently, does anyone know what is the favorite desi pickup line these days ?

My favorite works this way. If I spot an attractive woman, I look at her, making sure that there is eye contact, all the while smiling. Soon enough she notices me and I keep looking at her, not staring, but stealing glances, telling her that I am interested in her. I ususally wait for her to say ``hi, how are you doing?`` My response is always, ``thanks, a lot better now!``. That gets a conversation going and rest is just a pleasant memory!

BTW, this off topic, but...

This my opinion, so don`t sue me over it. There are two ways of picking up women in bars, clubs, parties etc. You can be either a hunter or a predator. A hunter is someone who goes out and activily searches for women and tries to pick them up. A predator, on the other hand, is someone who waits for them to come to him. I favor the latter approach.

The other line that has worked in the past is: if you like a woman, establish eye contact with her and make sure that she is looking at you and just mimic the words ``thanks``. The rest is up to you! Trust me, it works!

Re: slink #43

Shandana, dropping out of college to do what you are really good at should be worn as a badge of honor. You simply followed your heart. Takes a lot of courage to not follow the herd and carve out your own unique path.

God knows how much true talent, such as yours, is being sacrificed at the altar of a college and professional degree?

And remember, if the urge strikes you - you can always go to college when you are hitting tottering old age. Who said college is only for the young?

Anita

Saeed -

``As soon as I dip my samosa into their chutney``

What a line! I can just see some desi guy use it as a pickup line in a sleazy bar. I`m thinking Nadir in Shan Anwar`s ``Water Buffaloes`` -

``Hey, baby, let me dip my samosa in your chutney.``

Call me vulgar, but I think it`s hysterical.

- Bina

Regarding the hesitancy and difficulty of mentioning one`s educational background:

I find that if a person asks the question, then they should be ready for the answer. I look right at them and tell them. Many people appear surprised and I wonder if that`s a reflection on the poor impression I make. Or maybe it`s more related to their expectations. Regardless, if they can`t handle it, I find it best to let them realize on their own that it doesn`t make me really different. They find out soon enough once I dip my samosa into their chutney (I always run out).

In addition, I found that using ``Boston`` or ``Massachusetts`` backfires once people dig further -- they think you`re being more stuck-up than ever. [Sigh] My favorite was when I tried flirting with this woman in Disneyland my freshman year. I told her ``MIT``. She said, ``Oh wow! My grandma is from Michigan``. I corrected her: ``Actually, it`s Massachusetts``. She said, ``Oh! I thought only Minnesota and Mighigan had MITs``.

In all honesty, I am most proud of my Karachi American School background. Unfortunately, mentioning this doesn`t get me into too many good books.

Bina: good piece. However, I could have also seen one interpret the alumni mag in a completely opposite manner celebrating what it portrayed. Count yourself lucky -- other alumni mags are much more dry.