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The Lost One

Rabia Minhas September 8, 1999

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#6 Posted by MB on September 22, 1999 2:14:10 pm
if you want to know yourself, take note of what you read, write, talk and do.

don`t search for yourself in the eyes of others.

search your own eyes, your history, culture, music, family ways.

search not expecting to ever find yourself,

but just to get a little closer

to being aware..

to exist with more distinct preferences,

and be able to mobilize the power

to act on them.



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#5 Posted by Studebaker on September 15, 1999 8:51:01 pm
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#4 Posted by Zahra on September 14, 1999 11:16:48 am
Mr. Baker(An Addendum to my previous well written post);

Ahem, Ahem....

The word is Hunsee (Laughter, Mockery). I would like to clarify myself...I did not laugh away the thought. I was amused. I have just finished very successfully a huge implementation Project and was wearing a lot of feathers in my hair when I just came across the reply and I thought ``What is this ?`` :-) Simple See Baat Ko Ibnae Sina Kae Liyae Mushkil Moa`mma Bana Deeya Hae.

That`s it.

No mockery of thy words was intended!

Keep on sharing thy Philosophy on life :0) Though please do not ask me questions about Iss Ka Kya Mut`lab Hae or Ma`anee Wazeh Naheen :-) Ohooo, now I have some fun here :-)

Regards



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#3 Posted by Bina on September 9, 1999 1:31:55 am
Poignant!

But I wonder if the phrase ``lost identity`` isn`t a bit too obvious? The rest of the poem is so delicate, then when I read ``lost identity`` it sort of distracts me after all the subtle imagery and wordplay. Perhaps the idea could be described without being stated quite so bluntly?

Just an idea,
Bina.

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#2 Posted by temporal on September 8, 1999 8:35:58 pm
Rabia bibi:

Welcome to the sometimes crazy world of Chowk.

To your professors who encourage you to write, write. write I`d add write, rewrite, revise, rewrite,
lay off, come back another time, and rewrite n times---- if you are serious. You will be amazed at the transformation between the first `revelation` and the final draft.

Some minor thoughts:

line 5: fairytail s/b fairytale
line10: Hinnah s/b henna
line14: Black Kohl------how about deleting black altogether? Or if you insist, then K s/n be in caps.

It is not a bad first poem. Keep writing,

regards,

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#1 Posted by ferozk on September 8, 1999 4:21:41 pm
Rabia Minhas welcome to Chowk!

This poem has a sort of Phil Collinish lament about an identity crisis.....

On the whole, a really nostalgic, sad and a beautifully yearnful poem. There is a certain languid charm to the poem, in the slow evocation of its imagery, which is quite attractive to behold and savor.

Looking forward to your other up-coming works on Chowk.

P.S.: Feel free to change your major to anthing, but please do not change it to ethnic and women`s studies!!!!!

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Interact Index

    #6 MB
    #5 Studebaker
    #4 Zahra
    #3 Bina
    #2 temporal
    #1 ferozk

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