Monday Morning

Very interesting!
I usually go for shorter poems but exceptions
can be made.

Ras

nice to see something different. hang on a minute `some different` yes on chowk - but somehow I had this sensation that I waas reading `moth smoke` in verse. Then Rafay Alam posts this

`I posted this on behalf of a friend. He`s from Lahore, but works in a bank in Karachi. He`s 25, and is the lead singer of the new band shor.`

and it made sense to me daru reborn. or is it the elite writing for the elite to be appreciated by the elite of elite aka chowk ;-)

A depressing thought -

i didnt like all of it...i think if you condensed this and took some of your unnecessary lines out, this would be nice...the little lines in between are great...like for instance,

self pity is a marvelous aphrodisiac

the later lines are also better...my english teache ronce said to me, don`t be afraid to take out lines that you love...infact, take them out...its only too easy to overburden a piece with eagerness and lovely little lines.

rizvi.

OJ its been a while.....where the hell are you man......do get in touch...

Hassan Ijaz

Great poetry, or should I say, emotional diarrhea.

Nice!

lagta hai kissi zalim nay aap ka dil tor diya..elegant, powerful self pity
any chance we can read more?


arif abrar

p.s: hope you`re feeling better now :)

nice one:)

Temporal was not the first post! Wonder of wonders, maybe he finally got a life?

I really liked this one...

I posted this on behalf of a friend. He`s from Lahore, but works in a bank in Karachi. He`s 25, and is the lead singer of the new band shor.

Rafay

raw and powerful, a pleasure reading this, thanks.

shandana