Ayesha J Ikram September 24, 2000
#122 Posted by nida123 on October 9, 2000 10:27:16 pm
Dear Ayesha,
I am just one of those millions of women like you who make their own life a nightmare. All our lives we try to look like those gorgeous models/actresses with a perfect figure and skin. I saw this program The View from abc channel a while ago in which Joy, one of the host told the audience that when during a fashion show she hugged her model friend she felt like hugging a skeleton, as all she felt were bones, hard and cold.....
To be honest when did any man ever try to look like one of the stars to make himself desirable to his wife/girlfriend. You know why because we dont drool over a movie star the way they do!
Best wishes
PS. Have you read ``Brigdet Jones`s Diary``?
I am just one of those millions of women like you who make their own life a nightmare. All our lives we try to look like those gorgeous models/actresses with a perfect figure and skin. I saw this program The View from abc channel a while ago in which Joy, one of the host told the audience that when during a fashion show she hugged her model friend she felt like hugging a skeleton, as all she felt were bones, hard and cold.....
To be honest when did any man ever try to look like one of the stars to make himself desirable to his wife/girlfriend. You know why because we dont drool over a movie star the way they do!
Best wishes
PS. Have you read ``Brigdet Jones`s Diary``?
#121 Posted by PhoenixRising on October 9, 2000 1:52:34 pm
Interesting article.
Men and women are poles apart. We berate the opposite sex for the way they are and say we just don`t understand them. How many of us have actually tried?
Men, most men anyway, when they look at women other than the one whose live they happen to be sharing at the time, do so for the moment itself. A man may admire Kate Moss, personally,I find her TOO thin, but he remains with the one he has because he knows Kate will never be his. Women don`t seem to understand that, do they? They get all antsy and hysterical, yet they look at guys other than their own with a lusting that men can only dream of.
I don`t see anything wrong in the way you described yourself, Ayesha. But self-loathing is something people have to get over on their own. Somtimes ``the blade`` seems to be the answer but we all know it`s not. If people can`t expect you for the way you are, find someone who will. Or change their way of thinking. Just don`t kill yourself in the process.
Men and women are poles apart. We berate the opposite sex for the way they are and say we just don`t understand them. How many of us have actually tried?
Men, most men anyway, when they look at women other than the one whose live they happen to be sharing at the time, do so for the moment itself. A man may admire Kate Moss, personally,I find her TOO thin, but he remains with the one he has because he knows Kate will never be his. Women don`t seem to understand that, do they? They get all antsy and hysterical, yet they look at guys other than their own with a lusting that men can only dream of.
I don`t see anything wrong in the way you described yourself, Ayesha. But self-loathing is something people have to get over on their own. Somtimes ``the blade`` seems to be the answer but we all know it`s not. If people can`t expect you for the way you are, find someone who will. Or change their way of thinking. Just don`t kill yourself in the process.
#120 Posted by nelaasamunder on October 8, 2000 7:02:54 pm
well i just want to place couple of questions
i have been to india and i have seen muslims there in worst conditions
why incident of Baberi masjid took place ?
What else you would have expected as a reaction?
What do you have to say about what is happening in Kashmire?
may be i am getting a little bit off the track but still if you can feel so much about indians in Karachi u must have tosay somthing about mislims in india .
i have been to india and i have seen muslims there in worst conditions
why incident of Baberi masjid took place ?
What else you would have expected as a reaction?
What do you have to say about what is happening in Kashmire?
may be i am getting a little bit off the track but still if you can feel so much about indians in Karachi u must have tosay somthing about mislims in india .
#119 Posted by lubna on October 7, 2000 6:24:23 pm
pullu #116:
thanx for explaining ``saransh``. i`ll watch it if it`s worth watching.
scout #115, #117:
``I never thought a cyber vomit could elicit such negative reactions from the weaker sex.``
that`s why they`re the weaker sex.
thanx for explaining ``saransh``. i`ll watch it if it`s worth watching.
scout #115, #117:
``I never thought a cyber vomit could elicit such negative reactions from the weaker sex.``
that`s why they`re the weaker sex.
#118 Posted by scout on October 7, 2000 6:24:23 pm
Urstruly #118,
who`s who in that scenario? i don`t get it, i have blonde roots.
who`s who in that scenario? i don`t get it, i have blonde roots.
#117 Posted by Urstruly on October 5, 2000 10:21:57 pm
RE: Scout
aur Basanti ka Gabhar Singh kay baaray main kia khayal hay.
aur Basanti ka Gabhar Singh kay baaray main kia khayal hay.
#115 Posted by pullu on October 4, 2000 8:21:55 am
Scout #re 115
Welcome back to the appropriate and desired mood. You may deny it, but you were put off ( I didn`t see any valid reason for it); may be you easily are.
Yes, you are right, But for physical strength, Man is actually the weaker sex. Woman is better in handling emotional stress and also has a longer life span. (Mard tho waise bhi aadat se lachar hain...)
In an ideal situation Ratio of women to every thousand men, would always be more. { Ok, that is not the case except in an Indian state, Kerela }
Rahi baat cyber vomit ki. People here, have fought cyber wars defending accusations against their religion, leaders and nations{and hurling more}, that includes You and Me. Phir aapney tho seedha ulti hi kar diya.
And hey, yeh aap mere naam se kyon khel raheen hain..itna pyaara sa tho naam hai mera. May be you are reading/writing it the best that you can. ;)
Lubna #113
Muqabla..? Woh tho hum kar hi naheen rahe the.
Aur kyon bhala....
What is red lightning? Lal, hari, peeli bijliyaan tho mere ghar ke pichwade mein jugnu ki tarah timtimati hain. { taken from film ``Damini`` }
I forgot to add this in my previous post.
Saransh means Summary. If you can, see the movie ``Saransh`` by Mahesh Bhatt.
Pullu
P.S. Kahin mujhe phoolon ki dukaan tho nahin kholni padegi..? ;)
Welcome back to the appropriate and desired mood. You may deny it, but you were put off ( I didn`t see any valid reason for it); may be you easily are.
Yes, you are right, But for physical strength, Man is actually the weaker sex. Woman is better in handling emotional stress and also has a longer life span. (Mard tho waise bhi aadat se lachar hain...)
In an ideal situation Ratio of women to every thousand men, would always be more. { Ok, that is not the case except in an Indian state, Kerela }
Rahi baat cyber vomit ki. People here, have fought cyber wars defending accusations against their religion, leaders and nations{and hurling more}, that includes You and Me. Phir aapney tho seedha ulti hi kar diya.
And hey, yeh aap mere naam se kyon khel raheen hain..itna pyaara sa tho naam hai mera. May be you are reading/writing it the best that you can. ;)
Lubna #113
Muqabla..? Woh tho hum kar hi naheen rahe the.
Aur kyon bhala....
What is red lightning? Lal, hari, peeli bijliyaan tho mere ghar ke pichwade mein jugnu ki tarah timtimati hain. { taken from film ``Damini`` }
I forgot to add this in my previous post.
Saransh means Summary. If you can, see the movie ``Saransh`` by Mahesh Bhatt.
Pullu
P.S. Kahin mujhe phoolon ki dukaan tho nahin kholni padegi..? ;)
#114 Posted by scout on October 4, 2000 1:29:37 am
(p)ullu,
I`m just kidding around with you. Don`t get serious.
Lubna,
I never thought a cyber vomit could elicit such negative reactions from the weaker sex.
I`m just kidding around with you. Don`t get serious.
Lubna,
I never thought a cyber vomit could elicit such negative reactions from the weaker sex.
#113 Posted by musafir on October 3, 2000 9:49:39 pm
Dear Ayesha,
Thank you so much for sharing. I am sorry that you had to go through all that. All I can say is that you are a wonderful person and a writer and I wish you all the best in every walk of life because you need it more than I could use it.I want to keep writing on an on about this article and you but I don`t have enough time on my side nor enough pages that I could write on other than my humble and sincere wishes.Hope to see you around and do take care of yourself.Please.
Regards
Thank you so much for sharing. I am sorry that you had to go through all that. All I can say is that you are a wonderful person and a writer and I wish you all the best in every walk of life because you need it more than I could use it.I want to keep writing on an on about this article and you but I don`t have enough time on my side nor enough pages that I could write on other than my humble and sincere wishes.Hope to see you around and do take care of yourself.Please.
Regards
#112 Posted by lubna on October 3, 2000 8:27:35 pm
pullu #111:
aapko asal mein pata nahin tah aap kis say muqabla kar rahey hain.
scout:
don`t think he knew about ``Red Lightning`` :)
aapko asal mein pata nahin tah aap kis say muqabla kar rahey hain.
scout:
don`t think he knew about ``Red Lightning`` :)
#111 Posted by pullu on October 3, 2000 1:48:18 pm
Lubna #re 111
Nice to see your spirits intact. Dookan dhoondney nikla tha ki kahin se ulti karney ki awaaz aayee. Mera mann bhinn (as one feels when he sees vomit) sa ho gaya. Main ulte paaon waapis aa gaya, irada badal kar.
Haan, shayad Miss understanding ho gayee thee.
I took your statements with all smiles.But same cannot be said about your behan.
Hum tho hamesha chowk mein hi the..aadat si ho gayi hai, maidan chhorrne ka tho sawal hi nahin hai.
Scout #
``Karwee baatein are more fun and elicit more controversial reactions.``
OOPS! Tho Phir itni der tak main
``Bhains ke aage been baja raha tha``?
{Please do not take the above statement literally, it is an odiom. It only means, jo aapko achhi laghti ho yaa phir samajh mein aati ho mujhe wahi karna chahiyeh tha.}
I would hate to indulge in ``karwee baatein`` for what started as jocular exchanges. :( And I wouldn`t want to continue in the same vein.
Pullu
Nice to see your spirits intact. Dookan dhoondney nikla tha ki kahin se ulti karney ki awaaz aayee. Mera mann bhinn (as one feels when he sees vomit) sa ho gaya. Main ulte paaon waapis aa gaya, irada badal kar.
Haan, shayad Miss understanding ho gayee thee.
I took your statements with all smiles.But same cannot be said about your behan.
Hum tho hamesha chowk mein hi the..aadat si ho gayi hai, maidan chhorrne ka tho sawal hi nahin hai.
Scout #
``Karwee baatein are more fun and elicit more controversial reactions.``
OOPS! Tho Phir itni der tak main
``Bhains ke aage been baja raha tha``?
{Please do not take the above statement literally, it is an odiom. It only means, jo aapko achhi laghti ho yaa phir samajh mein aati ho mujhe wahi karna chahiyeh tha.}
I would hate to indulge in ``karwee baatein`` for what started as jocular exchanges. :( And I wouldn`t want to continue in the same vein.
Pullu
#110 Posted by lubna on October 3, 2000 11:07:52 am
pullu #105:
pullu bhai aap waapis aagaye? hum samajh rahey teh ke aap shayed jooton ka kaarobar shru karney ke liye dukaan dhoondney nikal gayeh hain. :)
``kahani ka saransh sirf itna hai:
Humour, is not your cup of tea.``
nahi bhai, bus zara misunderstanding ho gayi hai.
(btw, saransh kiya hai?)
bhai aap toh hamari baaton ko seriously ley gaye. aap ney kaha tah key aap khatron key khiladi hai... aur itni jaldi maidan chor kar bhag rahein hai?
pullu bhai aap waapis aagaye? hum samajh rahey teh ke aap shayed jooton ka kaarobar shru karney ke liye dukaan dhoondney nikal gayeh hain. :)
``kahani ka saransh sirf itna hai:
Humour, is not your cup of tea.``
nahi bhai, bus zara misunderstanding ho gayi hai.
(btw, saransh kiya hai?)
bhai aap toh hamari baaton ko seriously ley gaye. aap ney kaha tah key aap khatron key khiladi hai... aur itni jaldi maidan chor kar bhag rahein hai?
#109 Posted by Pankaj on October 3, 2000 1:50:07 am
You may be close sac. I probably read somewhere that the hip:breast ratio was close to 0.7. However I also read that the statues of females from various civilisations either exaggerated this ratio or underrepresented it. For example, we find H:B(hip:breast)ratio absurdly low in the statues of Khajuraho(too big breasts while too thin hip) while it is absurdly high for Indus valley civilisation.(refer to the famous statue of a dancing girl found in the excavations). May be sculptors like to play around and exaggerate things. Personally I agree with you. The number 1.27 for B:H ratio sounds pretty good. Afterall, I thinks males are more attracted to a girl with proportionate figure, at least in the first sight:) Well, later on, sustainence of this initial attraction depends upon several things.
To conclude I am not satisfied by this simplistic explanation of human behavior solely in terms of evolutionery or survival advantage.
To scout:
If you think mentioning that ``lip thing`` was in bad taste and demeaning feminism, I apologize. Actually I only stated what I knew.
Cheers
To conclude I am not satisfied by this simplistic explanation of human behavior solely in terms of evolutionery or survival advantage.
To scout:
If you think mentioning that ``lip thing`` was in bad taste and demeaning feminism, I apologize. Actually I only stated what I knew.
Cheers
#108 Posted by scout on October 2, 2000 11:33:14 pm
(p)ullu #105,
``I don`t know how but I think i touched a raw nerve. ``
What? How? When?
``I don`t know what in my post could make scout vomit.``
chichorapan
``Humour, is not your cup of tea. ``
coffee
``Meethi Baatein`` is obviously alien to you.``
Karwee baatein are more fun and elicit more controversial reactions.
``While I continue to sip my tea with a wry smile on my face, you can continue to ranter in all vanity.``
Vanity kahan say agai beech main? HELLO! Earth to (p)ullu!
``Humney Sau(100) loghon se poocha when a woman vomits what is the first thing that comes to your mind ?``
A chichora guy
``I don`t know how but I think i touched a raw nerve. ``
What? How? When?
``I don`t know what in my post could make scout vomit.``
chichorapan
``Humour, is not your cup of tea. ``
coffee
``Meethi Baatein`` is obviously alien to you.``
Karwee baatein are more fun and elicit more controversial reactions.
``While I continue to sip my tea with a wry smile on my face, you can continue to ranter in all vanity.``
Vanity kahan say agai beech main? HELLO! Earth to (p)ullu!
``Humney Sau(100) loghon se poocha when a woman vomits what is the first thing that comes to your mind ?``
A chichora guy
#107 Posted by sac on October 2, 2000 7:51:05 pm
re frog goddess #92:
I am afraid you are a little bit off the mark. Big breasts or hips by themselves are not signs of evolutionary advantage. If that were the case then Dolly Parton and Jennifer Lopez would have been the most desirable females around(I know there are some defective homo sapiens who find them desirable for their enormous body parts). The latest research shows that men from all cultures subconciously look for symmetry between the hip and breast size. I think the number was 1.27 or something like that. The research was done by some Indian professor at University of Texas(?) who went out and calculated the ratio for most women that men in various parts of the world found attractive. They all had the same hip to breast ratio. The professor concluded that the magical number triggered impulses in the male brain whereby those women were considered ideal for transmitting the human genes. Go figure.
I guess the area of attraction between the opposite sexes is too complex to be explained on the basis of a single theory.
later
-sac
I am afraid you are a little bit off the mark. Big breasts or hips by themselves are not signs of evolutionary advantage. If that were the case then Dolly Parton and Jennifer Lopez would have been the most desirable females around(I know there are some defective homo sapiens who find them desirable for their enormous body parts). The latest research shows that men from all cultures subconciously look for symmetry between the hip and breast size. I think the number was 1.27 or something like that. The research was done by some Indian professor at University of Texas(?) who went out and calculated the ratio for most women that men in various parts of the world found attractive. They all had the same hip to breast ratio. The professor concluded that the magical number triggered impulses in the male brain whereby those women were considered ideal for transmitting the human genes. Go figure.
I guess the area of attraction between the opposite sexes is too complex to be explained on the basis of a single theory.
later
-sac
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