My Closest Encounter with Death

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Punjaban #15
Ahh, now I`ll have to thank you again :)

Yes, death when combined with the concept of karma and reincarnation is very intriguing. Of course I also grew up around storoies such as those. People consoling themselves that their lost one had come back to them in someone else`s form. In this manner I think eastern philosophies free us from the idea that death means a complete end.

Brat, I think I have reached the conclusion that I personally am not afraid of death, actually quite intrigued to see what comes next. I am afraid of pain, or by the notion I cannot control how I go. Previous to the experience I talked about, I used to wonder sometimes, what would be my last thoughts, who would be in them. Certain religious philosophy, especially that which believes in Karma, states that if in the final moments a person truly thinks of God, he will be saved from the birth and death cycle, achieving mukti. Now whether that is true or not, who knows, but I used to ponder on whether God would enter my thoughts. Having all these questions in my mind previous to the experience, I was truly shocked at the realization that I had thought of no one and nothing...and was simply patiently waiting for it to be over.

Btw, that `Well said!` happened to be in response to post 2.

punjaban: thank you. thinking about our death, or trying to understand fear of death or lack of it is not easy is it? thanks for sharing your account. It`s interesting how each one of us has so many different ideas around death or fear of dying. Who can really say whether one would think of someone or something when their lives are directly threatened - as in your case and tvarad`s account!

nasah: That was really funny, how you brought Ansari`s poem to this discussion!!

temporal: thanks for the link, while I enjoy many different kinds of expression, I found the simplicity (dare I also say sincerity) of the author`s account very refereshing. I`m sure you`ll agree that sometimes it`s not the cleverness of the prose, but other things that bring ideas to light. I could relate to the author`s writing and experiences.

tvarad: you are right, this article was discussing the fear of death. Would you care to discuss if the after effects have increased your fear of death?

I have never had a close encounter with death, but my thoughts were based on speculations around what would happen if I died.

``sleep is a palliative, life is a disease and death is the escape.``

Nasah,

Whats up! How have you been? Yes the election results were pitiful....:(

This article was about fear not death. I nearly drowned when I was 18 in a swimming pool (the lifeguard pulled me out after I gave up struggling and went down for the last time) and, believe me, the thought of dying was the most peaceful experience I have ever had. But the after effects of that experience like panic attacks are still with me.

temporal miaN:

``difficult to understand
please be patient``:-)

Assalamu alaykum from one Asif to another! First of all alhamdulillah I am glad that you are here to tell the tale brother. It is painful reading about what happens on a regular basis to the Muslims of IoK.

But insha Allah one day you will be able to live in peace and tranquility.

Namaz e ishq adaa hoti hai talwaroN kii chaoN mein...

As for Death --we all know it is coming but most of us put it to the back of our minds. Let us pray that we can all have a noble and honourable death, on iman--for then Death is a gateway to the meeting with the Beloved--when it is His will. But let us pray for a long life too for all of us on Chowk!

Iqbal said :

Nishan e mard e momin ba man goyee
Marg aayad tabbasum bar lab e oost!

(You ask me the sign of a true believing man:
When Death comes he has a smile on his lips)

Asif,
thanks for sharing this writing with us.
I guess that Kashmiris need all kinds of help to carry on.

Kabhi to subh ho gi !

Ras

Brat: Well Said!

The only time I THOUGHT I was dying, afterwards, once I realized I was actually going to be fine, I was astounded by the fact that nobody had crossed my thoughts, honestly there was no fear, now if that was because I was in agony, and just wanted it to be over I can`t say!

Brat:

what is this sudden obsession with death here…very recently we discussed death in some interacts…and on another board we are probing life…yaar…hum tou intna jaaNtay haiN…zindagi aaur maut kay merhalay tay ho hee jaatay haiN…bus naik zindagi guzaro, agar madad kar sakhtay auroN ki to madad karo warna kum azz kum ooN ko tung na karo…mooktasaran…be good…be good and true to yourself and you will find that goodness infectious…then at some point life and death lose their relevance…

hit this address…you will find some musing on life and death…around # 63 or 64 ….once upon a time they were submitted to chowk and did not make the cut…now I feel it may be misplaced on page one….

http://63.194.130.82/cgi-bin/show_forum_topic_post_list.cgi?channel=home&tid=00000197&start=70&end=79&page=8&chapter=1

rgds,
…t

ps: got a chuckle!…yeah the novice writers have to try and begin that journey of a thousand miles with a single step…guess never saw chowk…as a nursery for writers…may allah have mercy on us if this turns out to be the case!

Thanks temporal, I have seen you interact and know your standpoint. I have also seen you provide suggestions to people, which I think help them. The points you made are very valid, but writing, reading all of those things are part of a journey right? So we do start off by being not so good. You and I can discuss this to death, but eventually the effort will have to come from Asif himself.

I actually wanted to discuss the point brought forward by the author: the idea that most of us have that we`re not afraid of death. It`s a strange but I believe fairly common sentiment. As common as fear of death? And perhaps just the other side of the same coin?

And then the other idea that when we think about our death - we imagine that our loved ones will be sad. Is this a part of how we`ve learnt to view ourselves -as an extension of others? Is it a desire on our part - to see our death to mean as something more than what it is?

When we think of our death, the only clues we have are the ones already present in our lives. We see people mourn the loss of their dear ones. So we assume that our death will mean that, and we wouldn`t want to `hurt` them so we must do all we can to stay alive. What would be the other `reasons` for wanting to live? It`s existentialism, and I`d like to request some comments from those who have read more on this subject.

It seems to be all about our desire to be `immortal` - through our children, through our work, through our fame, through our poetry?

huee muddat ke `GHalib` mar gaya par yaad aata hai
wo har ek baat pe kehana, ke yooN hota to kya hota ?

Another idea is related to loneliness and death. We don`t want to be lonely, we are afraid to be alone and death is one journey we know we will have to take on ourselves. It`s kinda like growth and the pains around it. We see death as the final step, but could it just be the continuation of this journey in some form or another? And also, if we make peace with our loneliness is it easier to make peace with our imminent death?

Brat #:


...thank you friend for your comments and before i go any further let me re-assure you i did not take any offend at all…

…and let me take this opportunity to elaborate on where i come from…

…it is not my intention to come down as a sledge hammer on any/all aspiring writers…

...i have the greatest respect for my reader…in fact it is this respect that causes me to share my feelings here…

...to me the reader is paramount and deserves the utmost respect…as a writer how can i show my respect?

---by writing with care and feeling
---by providing value to the reader---information, entertainment, fantasy, research, analysis…
---by being fresh and original
---by not repeating past mistakes and indeed learning from my mistakes

...consequently…

a shoddily written article earns my ire…

---the writer disrespects his/her self...that is obvious by the disrespect s/he displays towards the reader…i follow the dictum if i do not respect myself how can i respect others…

finally a caveat: these are my individual thoughts…in no way shape or form do they pertain to the average readers of chowk, or its management.

rgd,

t

temporal: while I see your point, I also see a different perspective that I`d like to put forward. Please forgive me if I say something that`s based on a combination of ignorance and impulsive emotions.

While Asif`s piece may not go down in the history books as the most grammatically correct or most prose-friendly etc. I think he had something to say. And that he did manage to convey to us.

As a group of south-asians, I don`t know why we take pride in pointing out the weaknesses in another`s expression of the English language? Why? Is it so that only those who have a perfect command of a language will be heard? Others should not attempt to express their thoughts?

At your suggestion temporal I went back and read all 22 replies to the previous article. What did I find there? One person starts bashing something and others join in, what fun, what a party!

Who there had the guts to admit that there may be something here - an individual`s expression. One single person`s eye-witness like account - when have we seen the people who bashed his previous article dare to submit an article with their account? Because they are afraid of ridicule. They were the first to say - what is this, I can do better than this, but I haven`t seen them put their prestige where their mouth is (ok I paraphrased this).

I did not see a single post that would provide suggestions to Mr. Hameed. All I saw was a bunch of people saying - this is stupid, but look how smart I am!

Mr. Hameed: I`m not a literary critic. I try to read to expand my mind (well it started as a desire to save myself from utter boredom, but I realised that reading has other wonderful side effects as well).
You have stories to tell, you may have a unique perspective on the situations you found yourself in, but in order to make it easier for people to read your prose you may have to do some more work after you``ve written the first draft.

I have simple advice for you, to save yourself from grief as well as to be better able to express yourself. When you write: you should write it like you did in these two articles, go with the flow. Then, set it aside, and come back later to see if you feel like revising parts of it. And then have another person read your article. If you are at a University, most campuses have a free session where you can take in papers and get editorial advice on it.

Alternatively you could pick up a few easy books (or search internet for tips) on writing etc. and just browse through them to get an idea of common errors (for example using loose when you mean to use lose etc.). These are common errors because we learnt English after we had already learnt to think in another language, or because we are not familiar with English, or because we haven`t had the chance to make these errors and learn from them. I find that reading a lot of books also helps, because over time you begin to understand the rhythms and also the technical aspects of prose.

Personally, I find this (common errors from people of my culture) a unique expression. I find it interesting that we make certain kinds of errors, because we translate from one language to another in our mind or other reasons etc. And I believe that it is our right, to express ourselves as best as we can, and we should not be shot down just because we have less of a command over a language that`s `foreign` to us.

anyhow, I`ve rambled on.
temporal I apologise that all this seems to be directed towards you, it`s not. It`s directed towards ridicule that we(all of us, on Chowk, in real life) so easily dole out. It`s directed towards our sense of shame (around being different? being lesser than others?) and towards our frustrations. I shall stop here, I think I should have taken up law, if all I wanted to do was to defend things/ideas/people! But somehow I feel that I may not have lasted long there as well!!!