Resurrection

Although a good short stroy its rather long.. and over descriptive losing the reader at times..It attempts to show a level of complexity of the main protegnaist but quickly lost my interest unfortanley but lots of potential :) keep up the good work

I am extremely glad that Jawahara has resurrected herself to write on CHOWK after such a long absence. Wish I could write prose as well as
she can.

Welcome back!

Ras

jawahara:

…this was a long sojourn…hope you come back soon after this…

…smooth, flowing gracefully, a tad long, and the ending was a bit of a let down for me…

She seemed to ask him a question, silently. Quickly, he jumped back, closing the door. He heard the car start up, rev its engine and drive away. His dreams were never the same.

this was too intriguing and ambivalent…as a writer you made evident his reaction…(his dreams…) but…after reading the relatively long story the reader would perhaps expect some deliberations on why sohael backed off…this quintessential ‘why’ was given short shrift after long build-up…

lve,

t

ps: afrasiyab, how was the sojourn?

J.S.,

There are some fine aspects of this story, particularly the quality of the elegant and vivid prose. The narrative voice, characters, dialogue were all believable and fully fleshed out; for example, Vivek allows for flashes of humor, and both Sohael and Rehka seem to be fairly compelling people (Sohael`s decision to live in the area of his ``focus group``, Rehka and her intelligent ordinariness) I was interested enough in them to want to know/read more about them. The development of plot, as complex as it was, is fairly deft and restrained.

My one suggestion is to go through the essay and cut out the explanatory sentences (I.e. Vivek’s use of “hero” and Madhuri); your audience either knows these references or can suspend enough curiosity to keep reading. The excess slows your piece down and detracts from the strength and grace of your writing.

I read Afrasiyab’s post with interest, but cannot comment on it. My one response to the idea he raised, that this piece gestured to the genres of Manto,etc, is that your or any skilled contemporary writer should not be expected to precisely replicate older genres for several reasons, the most obvious one being that it is your job as writer to interrogate, play with, invent, mix, juxtapose, transcend, fuse, etc. older themes with current interactions with them. My sense was that you were beginning to do that with this piece.

Will you be developing this story into something more? Hope to read more!

Hmmm...captivating.

reminded me of manto. the story line doesn`t seem to tie together for some reason. perhaps another read is needed.

Jawahara,
I have you listed as my faviourite author at chowk with Anne Shamim. I don`t know where she is these days but I am sure glad to see you back. Having said that, I must say I am a little dissappointed to see this work. First of all the theme is really battered and old. The mysterious ``Padosan`` theme has been used both by Hindi and Urdu writers. The examples that come to mind are Ahmed Nadeem Qasmi and Munto alongwith Ashfaq Ahmed. So, I am not sure if this really works anymore. The ending twist in the story was also not as well described as it should have been. It was also not very well set up. For instance, it was not a point in the story where I was just waiting for it to happen. I had actually grown tired of the wringing by the time it got to that point. Any kind of ending would have made me happy. I hope I am not being too harsh here. I know that you are capable of doing much better than this. Keep trying.
Best Wishes.

And the point of ``Resurrection`` Is ---------- ????