Mummy Guzzlers United

Pranam, Shandana Apa, Very interesting and entertaining. Nowhere near as disturbing as reading some of the comments.

The end of #3, in particular, seemed a bit too voyeuristic to me. Parts of #9 force me to bite my tongue -- someone else`s kid. But that is of course an achilles heel of human society: we trust parents.

I think ultimately that is our most primate-based instinct. For the most part, I hope, we are justified in trusting parents. Other primates may not consciously trust anything, but then their parenting skills are uniformly dictated by heredity and learned behavior. Primate parenting behavior does not vary dramatically within a species or within a social group until you reach mankind.

Then all hell breaks loose. And your own article, Shandana, bears witness to the lack of consensus.

Still, perhaps precisely because we do not know what is best, under most circumstances society has a hard time challenging the birth parent`s ``rights.`` And when we do so, thinking of departments of children`s services across America, for example, it is when we believe we are sure of what should not be happening to the child.

Sadly, that process, the one by which we hope to save the child, that process resembles the plot of an alien possession film. It is unnatural. It is unkind. It scares and scars everyone.

Forgive the maelstrom of my thoughts for I have whirled around to come back to one point. We trust parents. We trust them to raise our coworkers and leaders. To raise the people we and our children depend on. And then we complain about the people into whom those children have grown, seldom wondering what kind of parenting they received.

I find it odd. But I did like your article, Shandana Apa.

Cho chweet, the ending! ;)

Slink.... fuNNNNNNy.....

I always cower in admiration before those women who can actually laugh at things we men shudder to even think of-- menstruation, pregnancy, breast (ouch) feeding.

Welome back.... why you waste your time entertaining us for free I don`t understand, publish girl publish.....

Very entertaining reading!

Ras

T #12
1) [``...recall some very passionate arguments from you against inoculation...what gave?

2) ...am observing and studying procrastination...``]

First

Nothing ``gives``. The question was always weighing between the risks of vaccination and the risk of disease exposure. In our particular case there was next to no risk of disease exposure early on and what risk there was could be adequately covered by the ``borrowed`` immunity from the mother via breast feeding. The risk of vaccination reactions and long term harm potential, on the other hand was deemed greater and thus my break from the medical orthodoxy of `one-size-fits-all` solutions. The first eighteen to thirty months are when the child`s immune system is best left unmolested by introduction of exogenous antegens. That is what we did. As his external exposure risks escalated (school etc) we have picked and chosen the few vaccinations that made sense when the exposure risk calculus was done.

Second

I have been ``out of commission`` for the past few months and that has hampered my scheduled writing here and elsewhere. Now I am slowly getting back on my feet and intend to get back on track.

...SR

t.,
i know someone else who is observing and studying procrastination (aaphiki...) but someone has got to give at some point, hai na?
lve. the practised procrastinator, a.

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Sohail:

(We delayed ALL vaccinations until after his second birthday as well, but that too is another topic)

recall some very passionate arguments from you against inoculation...what gave?:)

rgds,

t

ps: pls. keep sending them mails...am observing and studying procrastination;)

12 head/Dilshad,
re: #8

Which is why you live in America, hain na?

Shandana, this is great. Somebody is finally writing about stuff that really matters. Congratulations...!!

I obviously don`t have personal experience as a nursing mother, but I have lived with and closely observed one. It was a great experience both for mother and child and very enriching for the third party (me) as well. Being a stay-at-home hands-on daddy I have learnt a lot more about child rearing than most men. Though each case is different, I can share some first hand observations.

Carolyn breast fed our son until he was two years and eight months old. This was not her original intent, but it just turned out thus. She being a product of contemporary society was only going to breast feed for ``9 months to a year``, but when the time came it was so rewarding at multiple levels that weaning was indefinitely postponed.

The first three months, especially the first three weeks, were literally hell, but then it started becoming easier. At about six or seven months the routine was finally set and it was all down hill from there.

The main period of difficulty was behind us and now was the time to reap the rewards of the investment in time and effort. No need to keep a whole bunch of bottles sterlized and make sure milk (or formula) is `fresh`. No waking up in the middle of the night to go to the kitchen to fool with the bottles and so forth. Its all right there, instant access and no one even needs to leave the bed. (We also co-sleep, yes, even to this day, but that is another topic.) Besides, what took life on Earth three billion years to evolve cannot be improved upon by Proctor and Gamble in a mere half century. Plus, what nature provides is free of cost, free of germs and free of hassel (once you are over the initial `hump` of six months).

Our son never got an ear infection, or tummy ache, or any other such thing. But them we never let him out of sight either. For the first two and a half years of his life he never spent even one hour with a baby sitter or at a day care -- only mummy, daddy and nano. But that is unusual because he was fortunate to have both of us home full time and his nano lived five minutes away.

Children are not just miniature adults. The are physiologically very different. For the first eighteen months to two years their immune system is quite immature and undergoing major development (so is, for that matter, their nervous system, liver, digestive system etc, etc) and is therefore not as capable of fighting off disease as is mummy`s immune system. Breast milk, unlike Proctor and Gamble`s formula, provides an invaluable protective umbrella against a whole spectrum of microbes raining on the baby. (We delayed ALL vaccinations until after his second birthday as well, but that too is another topic).

Lastly, forgetting all the science and morality issues, the emotional fortitude this can provide the child is simply immeasurable.

Of course, you have your own cross to carry and no one can to give you competent advice, but I will say that for our son and indeed for all three of us this was a really great gift.

Goodluck,

...SR

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`. . .Not because I want him to be more secure or intelligent than others, which in our society is like condemning them to social and emotional Siberia. . .`
haaN, soooo true! and i second Ansari on that.

i had previously read this in tft and was hoping it would get here. wonderful observations as always. . .

This is excellent, as usual.

``Not because I want him to be more secure or intelligent than others, which in our society is like condemning them to social and emotional Siberia. . . .``

Searingly honest. Thank you for saying that.

Incidentally, I wonder if you`ve met Dr Billoo at the Aga Khan Hospital. . .

.......... this was so good i had to read it twice! ............and my tummy hurts from laughing ......imagine - chimps paying for college !

Intellgent, witty, purposeful write-up, as usual, from an intelligent, witty, purposeful writer.

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