How to kill your Wife (Unedited)

I remember seeing Khar on Indus back in Karachi last year and being all emotional over his daughter not speaking to him. Farah Shah was pouring out da love ``She`s a lovely girl. She`s achieved so much. I`m sure she will forgive you.``
How a woman can stand next to that man and say those things are the qualities of a true actress.

zeeshan...yeh i found blasphemy to be a piece of ridiculous, over-the-top, monodimensional-character-ridden, trash too.

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gosh isn`t it strange for a powerful landlord like mustafa khar in a society like pakistan where models/actreesses are generally considered no better than whores/kanjariyaan to let his daughter become one?

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she is cute though---and probably much w over too!

Samina:
``

Interesting how being a temporary/permanent homemaker is an ``option`` for men, but not for women...

And since you brought up the concept of social responsibility, why do men feel they have none when it comes to the domestic sphere? ``

Could you point out where I made either of the above points?


When did I say it is not an option for women? All I said is that don`t diss those women who choose to be a permanent homemaker. If you want to draw preconcieved conclusions, don`t use me as a tool. You may have this secret hankering to dictate the rules to the world. But you as an individual have the right to make only your own choices as do others.

``If a man wants to be a homemaker, that`s his choice. `` This is what I said. Pray tell, where did you dream up your own conclusions of my opinions?

Tehmina Durrani as understood after reading Blasphemy:

Horrible piece of shit. Too old to be cute or forgiven for her unamusing opinions.

Aminah Haq is indeed Mustufa Khar`s much wanked over daughter.

A question about Khars: In our region of the Punjab with its Potohari dialect we have a saying which I have heard: a crazy, angry, person or one who loses his temper/does something outrageous is called a ``khar dimaagh`` (khar mind/brain).

I might be barking up the wrong tree but is the etymology of this phrase linked somehow to the Khars? ie has their crazy behaviour become proverbial?
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As for the book My Feudal Lord by Tehmina Durrani--I read the English version (was it a translation?) and it was a good read which at the time elicited a lot of sympathy for her in my mind...but the book was one-sided although Mustafa Khar did come across as a total wanker. There is also an Urdu version called Maida Sa`eeN--is it the same book in all details? Maybe she spiced up the English version to get sympathy from a West eager to hear of the latest atrocities by mysoginistic Muslim males! I don`t know.

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BTW Tehmina Durrani was cute...and her younger sister was VERY cute! No wonder Mustafa Khar fell for her too...

BTW I don`t have a problem with his marrying multiple times--his wife-beating i DO have a problem with..
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Is it true that the model Amina Haq is Mustafa Khar`s daughter?
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pakfin #64 Let me then try to reconcile your saying that you do your own cooking and cleaning and maintenance of a picture perfect house with your earlier statement that ``But on the other hand if she wakes up at noon and watches TV or chats on the phone all day long and then expects her husband to come back at 7 pm and help out with housework, then she is sadly mistaken.``

You are either unmarried and are compelled by your neatness to keep a picture perfect house. But that would not be typical of a bachelor. Most fellows I have seen living as bachelors have alien life forms growing inside their fridge. Or else you are married to a gorgon who threatens to turn you into a pillar of salt unless you get down on your knees and start mopping the floor as soon as you come back from work.

Zahra,

Lol...it never ceases to amaze me that women keep coming up with new ideas and men seem to be trying to hold on to whatever ground they have...as Mr.S and I are not perfect, we have our share of conversations...although, should he hang out with my brother, he develops a mysterious case of not knowing where the dishtowel is...while I and my sister in law get dinner on the table...I have to be honest, it annoys me, since all four of us work...

Samina,

Only a cruel/miser husband regardless of his origin will ask his wife to pitch in. A true knight with his beautiful shining armor will NEVER EVER do that.

On a relatively serious note, I agree with your suggestion on individual accounts. There are way too many marriages that break up because of financial chupqalash.

On another note, let`s not put the South Asian Men on the spot here. Fine, this article was written by a Pakistani or of Pakistani Origin, but in this day and age there are many successful mixed marriages that are all around us. So, the rules of the game ought to be the same for all and sundry.

Personally, having a good number of first cousins bred in the US and married to all categories: non-Pakistanis, non-Muslims and converts, I love to be part of an international family; and have a leaning in that direction. I think with globalization there will be a better understanding of the issues of this world and its various facets vs. sticking to your own little field. Diversity Zindabad!

But again it`s a challenge that many under take and have to stick to it. It ain`t everyone`s cup of tea.

P.o.l.i.t.e W.i.s.h.e.s

uRsTrUlY,

Theek Hai, I will wait.

Just an FYI: Kindly keep in mind that I am not a patient person, in spite of all the efforts in the direction of self study and re-evaluation. I may disappear fairly soon since there is a lot in life by the Grace of God to keep me active and involved. And aside from lacking in patience, my mercurial self loses interest in archaic and repetitive topics.

Take Care.

Pakfin,

As well you should...

and I agree; not only should both partners share equally-in proportion to their salaries, but that each spouse should have a separate bank account in addition to a joint couple account...

#38 by Saminasha on May 29, 2003 10:08pm PT
Stuka, Pakfin,

So if your wife made more money than you two did, you`d stay at home, raise the family, keep the house and have noooooo problemo with it, right?

That would be an individuals choice. As far as I am concerned, even if I did not have to work for a living, I would still work.

The issue here is not whether a woman should work or not, but the problem is when a woman is not willing to share the expenses, but wants the man to share in doing the housework.

#30 by tahmed32 on May 28, 2003 7:23pm PT
pakfin #27 spoken like a true slob.

Tahemed, talk about yourself. Not only do I work full time, I also do my own cooking and cleaning and maintain a picture perfect house.

Stuka,

Interesting how being a temporary/permanent homemaker is an ``option`` for men, but not for women...

And since you brought up the concept of social responsibility, why do men feel they have none when it comes to the domestic sphere?

Zahraj # 60

I have discussed the Islamic society in detail in the article as well. I guess you have to wait a little bit.

ZahraJ: you write ``It`s slightly skewed and weird too. Ouch! Just like the typical Traditional South Asian Men are. No Pun Intended!``

No pun made either, I think.

uRsTrUlY:

``I am far from evolved.``

Far above or below ?

I will look forward to your write-up.

What is an Islamic Society? And, where does it exist?

Please care to clarify when you have a moment. I will reserve my other remarks till the article is on the horizon.