When I Die

jawahara, rahulmal: various
Are both of you from Allahabad? I am too.
Shubha Mudgal is the daughter of Skanda and Jaya Gupta both English Professors at Allahabad University. I grew up and played with Skand whom I used to call Munne Bhaisahab and his father Prof P. C. Gupta was a class fellow of my father. Skand was my three years senior. I graduated from Form AU in Physics thouh.
I am looking forward to meeting Shubha Mudgal this saturday at her concert.

PS. Come to think of it, I think Jawahara has written an article on Allahabad at Chowk.

Re: # 31, Temporal:
Temporal Sahab, aapke citation mein thodrii dii gadr-badr ho gayee. Bahoton ko to pataa bhii na lagaa hogaa, par unke liye jo samjhe, citation yon honaa chaahiye thaa.

withers away mother`s angelic Love
child grows, youth fades…to ashes
ashes assume with effort none
the colour of their surroundings
only to drift away, again

raakh jou ik shaan-e-beynayazi say
apna laitee hai rang makaan kaa
(ekbar)
phir bikhar jaanay kay liyay

Lekin, main kahoongaa ki aapka angrezii kaa anuvaad urdu ke sher ko justice nahiin kartaa. Main aisaa is liye kah rahaan hun kyonki aapne cite karte samaya ``(funeral) pyres`` kii yaad dilaayii.

Prose evaluation:
The powder of ash is shapeless - devoid of personaliy - but it sacrifices it self non-chalantly in the paint form for serving the house to be reduced to the shapeless ash again along with the house.

Rahulmal #28

Rajjuu - rope ,
Samskritam for rope. Used quite a bit in discussing the rope-snake (rajju-sarpa)
metaphor used in advaita.

good. for a moment I though rahul malviya was the third one on chowk.

this was nicely written rahul. you got the poetic rhythm. i need to learn hindi.

Finally, a poem one could understand and appreciate.

Congratulations, Rahul, for awakening to life one kind of hope as you lowered another kind in the Karmic pool.

Brilliant. Simply breathtaking. One of the finest poems I have read so far on chowk. Rahul you`ve got an instant fan in me.

yaadon ki baraat ja rahi hai
lipti hui ikk safaid kafn mein
aa gayeeN wasl ki ghaRiyaN
khaak ko khaak ho janay do

fikr-o-khwahishaat ki socheN
mitt ke sub khaak ho gayeeN
aap laaye thay meri maiyyat ko
aap ab khoob chain se ro laiN

meray ehsaas aur afkaar
iss tarah mitt gaye jaise
thande paniyoN meiN juN
aag ko raakh ker diya jaay

P.S. Regarding ``roondhe``,I dont think this is the correct usage. The meaning you want to convey is- when they cry themselves hoarse; but the usage suggests, when they themselves become hoarse,and even that is not conveyed, coz rundhe is never used in that sense.
If I have to try my hand, I would say ``ashru shushk ho jaayen`` or something, my 2 more cents.

a href=``http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ITRANS``>This is the wiki page for iTrans.
I think it would be nice if Chowk Staff can impose this as a standard.
And yes, I am a UPite.
I am still kinda confused regarding the meaning of lines jawahara posted. ``poor`` can indeed be ``poori`` in bhojpuri. But loneliness isnt mentioned and somehow the first line doesnt make sense.If it is taken as ``pur nari`` then it will be translated as- All the women of the city have anxious eyes and even a bed of roses seems like sleeping on thorns. This seems plausible if the song depicts some mythological situation, concerning ram (maybe).
By the way ,I am gonna overcome my ADD and watch Raincoat soon, the DVD is lying with me since long.:-)
Regarding rajju, I have seen it used as a wire or cord. ``ReeRh rajju`` is spinal cord. In fact going by the tempo of your poem, I think ``tying in icchchaon ke bandhan(or rajju)`` is the last thing you want to do,since you want to let go. Something like ``Chadha kar icchaon ke phool`` would have been more apt.My 2 cents.
shobig, yes indeed, I agree with you and I got you the first time.

Rahul:

and speaking of pyres…this also from chowk gali-koochays of yore:

raakh jou ik shaan-e-beynayazi say
apna laitee hai rang makaan kaa
(ekbar)
phir bikhar jaanay kay liyay

ashes
once vibrant memories
of discretions and indiscretions
mount of ashes
ever-persevering, pursuing.

yaadouN ki raakh
rakh ka anmbaar
anmbaar-e-bay-payaN
jakaR laita hai wajood kO
yaadouN ki raakh
ek shikanja-e-zeest

too many queries
orphaned by thoughts
too many thoughts
not in word prison
Thanksgiving III

Rahul you made me do this:)

Okay, I went back and read ``poor,`` then I listened to the song again :-)

The ``poor`` is I guess a rustic way of saying ``poori`` (completely?). Perhaps something like ``pur`` might be better...but it doesn`t have the drawn out ``u`` or ``o`` sound.

``Poor naari saari vyakul nayan
Kusum sajaa lage kantak shayan``

So the line means something like the woman`s eyes are completely full of a total loneliness.

Actually the second line is what reminded me of Rahul`s poem.

Though strewn with flowers (kusum) it feels more like a bed (shayan: could also be a funeral bier) of thorns (kantak).

Sorry, I am not great at translating but you`ll get the picture I think...hope.

Yes, she is a fellow Allahabadi. Her maiden name was Gupta. That sounds like a very U.P name...but she is a Bong...not sure if the original name was Sengupta or Skandgupta. Her mom used to teach English at the university and Shubha, from what my sister tells me was more of a classical dancer than a singer in school. She had the same music guru as another friend of mine. Small world!

Re: # 25

Inquirer,

I explained my perspective in the last interact. I`ve never heard this word Rajjuu. You are right about the incorrect usage of bandhan for tying the dead body. I toyed with the idea of rassi or dori, but it sounded uncouth and I couldn`t think of a better word. Your rajjuu seems to have lot of merit. What is the root word, am I losing it in transliteration?

18,

hun humkay pullay pad gayee....baee yeh premika yaan premi kee chita hai.

main sochya yeh kavi apni chita kee gull kar raha hai. aur uski umar uskay aankhon kay uggay ghoom rahi hai.

chalo, dhanya wad humko dussnay ka.

Inquirer#20,

The poem is in first-person. The narrator expresses, shall we call it death-wish, what he wants done after his death. The request is to people responsible for cremation. Not sure if you meant loved-ones when you used the word lover. My response to Shobig in #18 was an explanation of why I think dreams should burn in the funeral pyre. In my interact, I switched to the person cremating a loved-one because I wanted to share the perpective of the person performing the last rites.

Shobig,

Thanks for the thumbs-up! Wouldn`t it be convenient if we had some winkies and smileys on FP too, makes life easier ;-)

Jawahara,

I had no idea Shobha Mudgal was a fellow Allahabadi, always thought she was Bengali. I didn`t get the meaning of the lines you posted, probably lost in transliteration :-( What is poor? naari is pulse or woman? kantak - thorn? shayan?

Re: # 23, rahulmal:
Let us consider:
baandh icchaon ke bandhan*****baandh ichchhaaon kii rajjuu
There is some confusion in your poem about whose desires do we want to consider or refer to. It is an insult to freedom after death that a body can still be tied with ``bandhan,`` that is why I replaced the psychological aspects of ``bandhan`` and tried to transform the concept of ``rope`` (=rajjuu) which is used literally in securing the body of the dead person for putting in the funeral pyre.