In Sanity I am saddened by your thoughts. These are exactly the worries God meant us to avoid when the Islam was declared to be our religion. Had you had true and proper guidance in the very beginning- had a sagacious mother to explain your code of life; ypou would have been unaware of these troublesome thoughts. Like they say: Never say never, and It`s Never Too Late, you are young and vulnerable, but Islam can save you IF YOU KNOW HOW TO ASK ALLAH`S HELP.

Best Wishes.