Talaaq 3 Times She Said A culture that teaches its women to allow themselves to be despised this way is not a culture that is helping humanity evolve. Why does this culture ENCOURAGE women to tolerate with silent submission maltreatment and emotional neglect in marriage? The man never has to raise himself to a higher level, (be it spiritually, economocally, emotionally or in responsibility); it is his woman who is required to preserve his ``manhood`` by lowering herself, so that he always looks like he`s that ``degree above her`` that is his right by the Almighty Creator. Why, she`s guilty of violating natural Law if she shows signs of growing and evolving faster than her spouse.

Which one here it the dysfunctional spouse? The easy answer is the cruel husband, but the true answer is the wife. Why does she allow herself to be despised and treated so badly? The situation is unbearable 10 years into their marriage, and yet she stays in it for another 15 years! What is the use of Talaaq at that stage, all harm and damage a divorce would save her from has already been done. Why did she stay? for everybody but herself. The more I read, the less sympathy I had for her. By the time she got up the self-respect to get herself out, it was too late. If she had gotten the courage 15 years earlier, she might have chose to get out then---OR, maybe she could have used that courage to shape her marriage into more of what she envisioned, what she needed; not what she passively sat and let it become.

Just a Chance Encounter You make Loretta`s unreality extremely real to the reader in the first half, and just as she is beginning to matter to the reader, you change narrators, and effectively flush Loretta`s significance down the drain with Rosalind`s lavender bath water. At first I was a little confused at the sudden change of point of view in this short article. Then I got it: instead of just informing the reader of the plight of the mentally ill homeless, you have drawn us inside to feel it a little, how utterly dismissed and marginalized they are, and how mainstream society shuns them.

Schizophrenics are by no means irrational; they just have trouble with perception---they cannot consistently distinguish their own thought process(the ``voices``) from physical sensory input, a fact which fascinates me. Their internal analysis of a situation becomes the situation (the poor guy with the coffee!). What if the veil separating physical reality from imagined fantasies had holes in it or was completely missing from your psyche; thought becomes reality and reality a mere dream! Oh, the implications...

Snakebite WOW!!!

but....did she get bit? or did the men get her before the snake did??

I`m captivated!!!

Accident regarding #46 Ferozk

Wow, thats pretty heavy, believing that parents who allow their 6-year-old to have beer(albeit w/7-up) are parents who are teaching their child not to abuse alcohol. He asked ``why should I, who is responsible around alcohol, be punished for the sins of others?`` (punished here means denied the pleasures of drinking). This is a good question, since it really boils down to personal choice/personal responsibility. All I can say is that I hope he and all his St. Pat`s day drinking buddies each had designated drivers that night.

Please take note; I am CERTAIN that every man/woman who ever killed or injured another person while driving intoxicated thought he too could handle his liquor (for he has been doing it so well for so long) and that he too always knew his limit, and he too always drank responsibly. (just as Ferozk vehmently asserts he drinks responsibly).

Another way drinking is unfair to the people around you: the alcoholic personality can really deprive a family and a marriage of the whole person, causing unknown and sometimes irreversible harm and torment. Not the raging violent drunk, nor the sloppy lazy drunk, nor the 3 nights a week socialite, can even begin to see how the spouse is left just a little bit empty, and resentful, and angry, confused, and trapped, wondering what is lacking in herself and their life together that he must seek relief, seek escape and self-medicate night after night. Don`t believe your personality remains the same either: during drinking, and the time between drinks, you are a changed person, persona, personality. Perhaps even pleasant, funny, jocular; however not the person you really are.

Sorry about the lecture, Ferozk. The likes of you are too close to my heart. I know these kind of lectures never work anyway.

Just sign me Someone Who Knows.

Mum’s the Word No doubt this article will set off a flurry of travel horror stories, so here`s my contribution:

This author obviously has never experienced the joys of parenthood(snicker). When he has to bear the cost of raising and transporting his kids, he will cry about how the discount is not nearly enough! Children, or I should specify, the annoying an inconvenient aspects to their character, are a necessary evil, unlike smoking or cell phones(?). I really can`t see how the ``no jeans`` or the air pollution points raised relate directly to travelling with children; it is like comparing apples to watermelons. Big, heavy, inconvenient, annoying, snot-covered, chained-to-your-ankle watermelons.

Believe me, if I could have travelled with my 2 1/2 year old folded up and turned off in my briefcase along side my motorola, and stashed by 9-month old in my breast pocket with my pack of Salems, believe me I would have. Air travel, as cramped and horrid as it is, has not been experienced to its fullest until your flight is delayed 6 hours for fog in Lahore(IN THE PLANE), 4 hours in Amsterdam for mechanical trouble (STAY IN YOUR SEATS, PLEASE) and 6 hours in JFK, waiting for Toronto to lift its cerfew (timing was off due to the first 2 delays). However, when you factor in the 2 year olds chronic diarrhea and lingering ear infection, coupled with the infant`s severe bronchial infection (all marvelous parting gifts on behalf of the motherland), include shortages of diapers, wipes, and formula, overflow the toilets, and the experience is pretty much complete. Please, Please, PLEASE have mercy and show kindness to these poor unfortunate wretches, the parents who travel with children!!

SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE ONE OF US!!! TO DENY IS IN VAIN!!! TO RESIST IS FUTILE!!! YOU WILL JOIN OUR RANKS SOMEDAY, YOUR DOOM IS INEVETIBLE!!!!

Separate area for children? Now there`s an idea...but, do I have to stay with `em?

Manto versus Insha I don`t get it. Sorry.

Accident Just wondering, did anyone take down the license plate number on the Black Civic or any witnesses file a police report? Since Pakistani law enforcement is buried in what compares to the old American ``frontier justace``, I suggest a ``frontier justace`` solution--ask around, find out the owner of the only local black smashed up Civic, have a masked gang show up on his doorstep, and demand some blood money (enough to cover the family`s hospital bills and pain and suffering) and beat him up (flogging for public intoxication, or is that stoning?) How could the police argue with that? A solution straight from the Sharia.

And regarding the ``its haram to touch ladies``, is it any wonder that most people in the west think that being Muslim means being fanatic, intolerant, ignorant, violent, prejudiced, and unjust in a most un-Godly way?!? On the other hand, I suppose there are a few perverts in the world who would seek to derive sexual pleasure for himself by copping a feel on the bloody semi-conscious mangled body of that woman. Perhaps the man who refused help is among those few. In any event, Islam dictates that we protect women from harm by sexual harassment and sexual exploitation, but also that we protect women from harm in general. And if this idiot really understood the words of Allah on how we are supposed to get along together, he would see protecting this woman from harm by car accident is more important than protecting her honor as a woman in these immediate circumstances.

Driving while drunk? Oh sure, lets lobby for Pakistan government controlled television to air the public service announcements from MADD (Mothers Against Driving Drunk) ya think the ``designated driver`` idea will be heeded by anyone; and the Partnership for a Drug-Free America ads (this is drugs...this is your brain on drugs...any questions); or how about the ``buckle up, its the law`` spots by the Highway Safety Administration. All wonderful ideas, but as soon as traffic signals are regularly maintained in working condition, and separate ``donkey-cart only`` lanes are instituted, and the day that obtaining a drivers licence requires only passing the test without bribing anyone, then we can worry about raising public consciousness about seatbelts and drunk driving.

Don’t Go to the Bathroom in India! Blacks sometimes refer to each other as ``nigger`` in close conversation, no problem; but when a white man says the word ``nigger``, his intentions are malicious, all hell breaks loose!

The Overlooked Problem of Pakistani Racism. The last time I visited, my 12 year old niece wanted me to send her some ``face bleaching cream`` or any similar product from the US so that her schoolmates will stop calling her ``darkie``. The next year she quit school because of the trouble. Then there was the time in Hyderabad, while standing in the lines trying to get admission to college, another relative was interrogated as to his family names and background, and when it was revealed he was concealing his Muhajer-ness, he was forced out of line, knocked to the ground and kicked. See, to even get a basic education you have to pretend to be what you are not. The depth to which this ethnic prejudice is embedded in the nation`s fabric, and practically institutionalized, really makes me question the ``Islamic`` nature of the ``Islamic Republic of Pakistan`` Do true Muslims (of ANY color) really have this pettiness ingrained in their hearts as a way of life, favored over the idea of equality of all people before Allah, as instructed by our beloved Prophet? Although I have had my own experience with the racism in US, (it can be very covert), I must say that the ``official`` open policies of ``equal-opportunity`` and ``non-discrimination`` are seemingly more islamic(!)in nature (in theory anyway), than the feudal caste system still in place in Pakistani society.