No Fault Of Mine Re: PM

Ok... so you are still here. Good for you Pat, but you know exactly what I am talking about! I don`t see you putting your lovey dovey arm around Yahwaah every third post now do I?

LC

No Fault Of Mine

Re: Devkant

Mishter Dipteepramminshterji, friends, countrymen, honorable ShireeRajmohanjiGandhiji & respected ShireeRamjanmabhoomiJethmalaniji.

It ij with great pleyyer that I welcome the newesht citijen of Chappustan. Shiree Devkantji is hereby decalared the new Minishter of Agriculture, Horticulture & Hippieculture.

I am mosht certain that Minishter Devkantji will be able to increase our yearly yield of Algae & Cacti to 8 kilos from the dismal 0 kilos last year.

Besht of luck Devkantji and thank you for your time.

Your Prayydant

Latif Chappu

No Fault Of Mine Re: Chowk Staff

I understand your interact guidelines. For the purpose of this discussion I reproduce them below:

1. Please keep your interaction relevant to the article and its primary theme.

2. Please refrain from language that is abusive.

3. Please refrain from personal attacks on writers and respondents.

4. Please refrain from frivolous statements that are inflammatory towards any race, nationality, ethinicity or religion.

5. Please refrain from abusing the interaction spaces with plugs and unsolicited publicity for other websites and on-line and off-line services.

It is my intention to point out to you that you DO NOT administer the above guidelines fairly.

1. You NEVER administer this guideline. Every single discussion thread veers off into tangentia & minutia. I personally don`t think there is anything wrong with that however, since people will talk about what they want to talk about.

2. The interpretation of what is abusive language is admittedly subjective. Your automatic filter disallows the common `four lettered terms` but people have been getting around these for years now, using underscores and such. I have been on this site for a long time and have been amazed at how many times extremely derogatory references to body parts of Hindu gods are made. It would be an extremely easy task for me to pick out 10 instances and display them here. Now show me one such reference you`ve let through about the Prophet or about Allah. Either you are biased (which I now regrettably believe) or Hindus don`t do that sort of a thing (which I obviously don`t believe).

3. You NEVER administer this guideline. This happens all the time!

4. This according to me is the most important guideline of all and should be administered most stringently but yet it is not! I know that you edited Yahwaah`s post no. 345 but you let most of it through! In the stuff that you let through:

a. Yahwaah distinguishes himself from a `south-Asian` and points out how they are ugly.

b. Yahwaah calls all New Jersey Residents `garbage`.

c. Yahwaah calls Indian expatriates `Toilet Cleaners`.

d. Yahwaah makes derogatory references to the genitals of one of the Hindu divine trinity.

e. Yahwaah reminds me that I have an `auquat` which I need to stay within. Apparently this is what Islamic Secularists do!

And then you blocked my response to him in its entirety!! Shabaash Chowk!

What you are doing here is setting an example that while it is not OK to insult individuals in return for their insolence, it is perfectly fine for someone to insult entire creeds, nations, races & communities. Apparently according to you who are the `mai-baap` of this community, it is fine to wish death upon a billion people but it is not kosher to insult that abhorrent human personally!

Do you not realize that the reason why things get so acerbic on Chowk is becasue people respond to accusations of personal deficiencies with defamation of entire masses of humanity?? And you condone this!! This is a very dangerous trend! I hope you know this.

5. This guideline is irrelevant to this discussion.

In conclusion I would like to thank you for providing the server space. I have tried to be a part of this community and with methods available at my disposal I have tried to have fun, meet people and also contribute to the tenor of this community. All this while however, I was under the misgiven impression that you good folks had the same basic vision that I did. This last incidence shows otherwise and so I wish you good bye & good luck.

Your ex-admirer

Latif Chappu

No Fault Of Mine Re: Temporal, Pat, Tahmed, Hamidm, Eklavya, Concerned, Egalitarian Brahmin, Zeemax (way back when!), Sac, Zeejah, Rizvi, Sadna, Veeru, Gymno, Arun, Rehan, Jawahara, Beena, Slink, Ferozk, Siglaph, Zafar.... and many many more, you know who you are!

Thanks guys. It was an absolture pleyure reading you and interacting with y`all! Learned a lot :)

Re: Ali1, Urstruly, Yahwaah... and many many more that I`d like to forget... you know who you are!

You can go stuff it!!

As for me, I have forty acres and a mule on the Gaza Strip.

Signing off for the last time

Your Hoochie Mamma

Queen Latifah

No Fault Of Mine Re: Urstruly

I agree.

Hallelujah! I agree with you!!

Let there be dancing in the streets! Let all the prisoners free! Let all the poor be bathed & fed!

Re: Sadna

It is a very precarious existence on Chowk if you take on good ol Yahwaah. If you try to take him under your wings he blows up on you and drives you away (Patrick Masih). If you try to counter him post for post you begin to mirror him (Rsaxena). If you hold him accountable and punish him for making amazingly incendiary statements, he goes completely bonkers and Chowk Staff holds you partially responsible for `provoking` him (Latif Chappu).

But despite all his shortcomings you have to admit.... the guy`s totally entertaining!

Re: Yahwaah

So the Chowk Staff edited your eloquent gem? Tch tch tch... Ok send it directly to me at Elchappie@Hotmail.com lest it go abegging.

Happy?

No Fault Of Mine Re: Concerned,

Sir,

You have made a completely baseless allegation against my Dipteepramminshter and me! Your accusations are unfounded, affronting & libelous. I am currently in contact with the APLC counsel ShireeRamjanmabhoomiJethMalaniji and am actively exploring our legal options against your slanderous and mischievous accusation.

Furthermore, the sole copy of the Chappustan constitution is in my laptop`s D:/ drive and as such cannot be suspended by some Airagairanatthookhaira!

Your 6-point agenda is merely a rouse! Your appeal to the residents of Chappustan is completely ineffective since at this moment there are only two Chappustanis, Zafar and I.

And as of this moment I have no reason to doubt the fidelity and loyalty of my trusted Diptee!!

I should make you aware that the Chappustani threat perception from the likes of you is very real and they will not hesitate to use pro-active measures against such threats. Chappustan does not rule out hot pursuits and the likes of you should be well aware of the current geo-strategic scenario that has significantly altered after our possession of a saltshaker!

Payydant Chappu!!

No Fault Of Mine Dear Dipteepramminshterji,

Your humble humility in humbly accepting my humble offer had humbled me.

Regarding the location of Chappustan, the only seaside locations available in Ethnikistan are overlooking the wonderful Dead Sea. I am currently in negotiation with the Hutus and the Kashmiris to set up a salt manufacturing facility in Chappustan. None other than Rajmohan Gandhi has graciously agreed to be the CTO of this operation. Word has it that he was privy to some salt manufacturing while in his knickers and can almost remember how this is done. If we are persistent we might make enough food grade Sodium Chloride to provide a tri-platform credible minimum deterant against the marauding Tamils. We will eat sand but we will get the salt!!

The only other possible location for Chappustan is a tract of land in the Hopi Pueblo in Arizona but that arrangement would involve being employed by Big Chief Squatting Jackpot as janitors in his Casino. As of this moment I am leaning against that location.

Regarding your perusal of certain special tomes, allow me to assure you that the constitution of Chappustan does not discriminate based upon reading habits. However, subscription to any philosophy that claims to have all the right answers and discards varying thoughts as untrue is certain grounds for impeachment. I am sure you realize that since the impeached party has no vote, if you go fundoo on me you`re going down one-zip!!

Once again, on behalf of APLC and the government of Chappustan, a hearty welcome & felicitations on your appointment as the Dipteepramminshter. We look forward to working with you and are certain that you will be a productive member of the team. The washroom is down the hall to the right and the pantry to the left. Please don`t leave food in the fridge for more than a week and do your own dishes. A gentle reminder that religious fundamentalism is not cool and there is no smoking in the boy`s room.

Your Prayydant

H.E. Latif Chappu Esq.

No Fault Of Mine Re: Yawaah #299

Ok pappu, I don`t know what Prof. Tony Soprano is teaching you over there in New Brunswickistan, but for sure it aint math!

I ignore 99% of what you say. So In order for me to read what you are saying... you must post it a hundred times!

I don`t think you are even close. Keep working at it will ya?

Your Jovial Jersey Paisano

Latif `Lazzio` Chappu

P.S: Oh and another thing... its very tempting for a snot nosed student to think that he is the center of the universe and all political movements of any significance arise from his stinky dorm room but that is a little off the mark. The expatriate Pakistanis I talk to are intelligent, respectable & contributing members of society and their opinions actually matter. You on the other hand don`t amount to diddley fuc_kin squat!

P.P.S: And you betcher leaky ass I am on your case! In fact as they say in my cow town... Ahm on ye lahk shtank on shi_t! That started the day you wished death upon a billion people on this very site. You believe in accountability, don`t you babe?

No Fault Of Mine Re: Zafar

I am most honored by your expressed intention to apply for membership to APLC. At this time we have only one member and we have yet to print an application form since we are a young organization and as such are very unorganized. All this however, may be about to change.

The other day I was informed that there exists a very organized organization based out of the twice named city of New York, New York which was run by a twice named man Ghali Ghali, that offered a special privilege called `right of self-determination`. When I met Ghali Ghali he regrettably informed me that he did not run this outfit and introduced me to another man of Negroid disposition who was eating `coffee and naan` for breakfast. Apparently `Coffee and Naan` is now the head honcho and hands out the `right of self-determination`.

I informed `Coffee and Naan` about APLC and how we had had a referendum which resulted in a landslide 1-0 victory for independence. `Coffee and Naan` was very accommodating and agreed with all demands of APLC. The new nation is to be called `Chappustan` and each of its residents are to be awarded 40 acres and a mule.

As you are the first one to apply, I am most pleased to inform you that not only are you a member of APLC but also are awarded 40 acres & a mule with a thatch in Chappustan. As my second act as the President of Chappustan I hereby appoint you `Diptee Pramminshter`. As for your acne, the constitution of Chappustan clearly states that it does not discriminate based on skin complexion. Chappustan does have a small objection to leaking orifices soiling keyboards at 500 posts per minute from a certain `armpit of the world` called New Brunswickistan, NJ.

Chappustan is to be a fully autonomous region in Ethnikistan. For further information about Ethnikistan, check out the following news release:

http://www.theonion.com/onion3723/west_bank.html

Welcome aboard.

Latif Chappu

President

Chappustan

No Fault Of Mine Re: Shah

Sirji thier is somethig I liked to tell you. When ray of lights get sqweed throug prism it turn into 8 colurs. Black, Purple and other six which I don`t remembers this time.

If all the peoples that disagree by you are of one catagori than maybe you needs a littel contri of you own?

Wait.... this gives me a solid light bulb ideas!! I have to call Coffee and Naan!

Latif Chappu

President

APLC

No Fault Of Mine Re: Tahmed

Yaar last thing I want to do is compare immigration statistics with you. I think we are much better off lettin Veeru & Yawaah duke out that one ;).

But listen, my opinion of Pakistan is neither based on 71 (I wasnt even born then) and nor on Kargil (who knows how these military types think). My opinion is based upon interaction with Pakistanis, especially the ones I respect and have befriended. I still think India is FU & Pakistan is FUBAR and am glad & happy for all those who left in time so they may pursue the joys of family, career & recreation with dignity & in comfort.

If the `snowball`s chance in hell` that I mentioned earlier somehow pops into fruition and Pakistan turns into a secular democracy, peace will be a direct outcome & the `Hindu rate of growth` might actually go into double digits. I may have left India but I do have tremendous cultural affinity with that land. I have very strong familial ties there and I would much rather see prosperity there than a nuclear wasteland. So believe me my friend I DO want Pakistan to be prosperous secular democracy. My incredulity and disappointment stems from the fact that Pakistanis don`t seem to want that!!

No Fault Of Mine Re: Yawaah

People like Latif Chappu have not leant any support to people like Bhartiya Muslamaan. In fact people like Latif Chappu have not yet read a single post by people like Bhartiya Musalmaan in its entirety. Also, people like Latif Chappu ignore 99% of posts by people like Yawaah Latifay Hamdani.

People like Latif Chappu do however enjoy giving a hard time to snot-nosed, pimply-faced twitching & leaking fart-knockers like Yawaah Latifay Hamdani. Especially when people like Yawaah Latifay Hamdani address people like Latif Chappu directly.

Sincerely,

Latif Chappu

President - APLC (Association of People like Latif Chappu)

No Fault Of Mine Re: Yawaah

My perspective is not skewed you dimwit! You have a different perspective than mine. The fact that you deduce from that discrepancy that your perspective is straight and mine skewed shows you for the complete retard that you are.

Just tell me if you completely agree with the 4 statements I made and then may be we will talk.

Latif Chappu

President - APLC

No Fault Of Mine Re: Tahmed

Regarding the beer bottles...

The way Yahwaah is palpitating it might be time to break out some more...

There is still the issue of bottles 61 through 70 that went missing. You dont happen to have them do you?

From the Coors Brewing Company

Golden, Colorado

Brewmeister

Latif `Karl-Heinz` Chappu

No Fault Of Mine Re: Tahmed

A clarification please. I am not suggesting that acquiescence to my four statements constitutes some kind of universal nobility. I am producing four statements that Indians think people the world over would generally agree with and since most Pakistanis don`t - it results in incredulity on part of the Indian interactors.

All my four questions can be summed up into one.

The oath to the office of the constitutional leader of Pakistan begins thus:

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful. I, ____________, do swear solemnly that l am a Muslim and believe in the Unity and Oneness of Almighty Allah, the Books of Allah, the Holy Quran being the last of them, the Prophethood of Muhammad (peace be upon him) as the last of the Prophets and that there can be no Prophet after him, the Day of Judgment, and all the requirements and teachings of the Holy Quran and Sunnah.

Question to you. Do you think the above oath is inappropriate? I personally think it`s repulsive. The day the people of Pakistan will change the above oath; the 4 statements I pointed out will become self-evident truths in Pakistan.

You said: Hope you will take off the rose-colored glasses that so many Indian posters seem to have, and see that there is work to be done - in India and in Pakistan.

I don`t wear any rose colored glasses. India is pretty fuc_ked up. I don`t see realistically how it is going to get any better any time soon. Pakistan however is FUBAR.

No Fault Of Mine Re: Rdesikan #96

Yaar Its not that much fun at all. It might be fun if Yawaah had half a brain... but then he wouldn`t be Yawaah!

See, now all Yawaah does is that every time he encounters a disagreeing voice (even if it belongs to someone who`s agreed with him before) he brands him a `hatemongering fascist bigot`. And then he proceeds to yell LONG LIVE PAKISTAN five times.

This is the same treatment he metes out to any person or event - factual or fictional - that undermines his views or his tribe in any way shape or form.

So you see if Yawaah were to get a case of ED, he would probably call the woman a hatemongering fascist bigot and then jump up and down on the bed screaming LONG LIVE PAKISTAN.

I predict the same reaction if a waiter doesn`t refill his chips & salsa in double pronto time or if he doesn`t win the state lottery.

Yawn....

Latif Chappu