Talaaq 3 Times She Said good article. thought provoking. i was astonished to read replies of some of the people who doubted its truth and validity. as a mental health professional in u.s., i am aware of many other statements made by husbands. this is pretty much same in eastern cultures as well, if not worse. differens remains in accepting a divorced female. in west she is relatively protected by society but in east ``divorce`` sometimes is compared with bieng handicap. people sympethise with you, either will be angry at you or treat you especially but not on a similar ground as an unmarried woman.

another important aspect of the article is that marriage is always and always a culturally flavored institution. before societies emerged there was no marriage. and even in sixties many people lived in communes, shared love, shared companionship, shared responsibilities and even shared children. single child would have multiple fathers and would live in a sex free social setting. i dont think that aa is advocating that, but i do think that she believes in the ill fate of a woman married to a wrong man and due to the societal barriers can not set her self free. if she leaves early, she is told that she did not give it a full chance. if she stays for, waiting for him to change, she is labelled as someone wanting to be maltreated for long and then blamed for that. more than often she is told to stay in marriage for the kids, as aa wrote the product of such disrupted unit will only be more diturbed and then the cycle begins.

i know guys staying in marriage for all the above mentioned reasons as well. i dont think that the idea of the article was to convey the sexist approach towards marriage, but to get across dysfunctional marriages. and the role society, (which is generally comprise of humans) play to make it more hard to break free. at the same time it is important to question our feelings and responses towards divorced individual. can we, the educated males, look at those females in a more acceptable way. what if my sister or my daughter wants to leave her husband??

once again a thought provoking article for the males of `90s.

Where in the Brain is the Mind i have been interested in this article since past year and do follow replies. why we are what we are is a complex issue. why we think/ feel what we think/ feel is even more complex. concioussness, uncon, sub con are old terms with constantly new theories attached with them. there is no doubt in my mind that there is a biological explanation to every action, thought, feeling and emotion we have. why two people react differently to a same stimulus is also explainable on the basis of their personality traits and object relation theories. hence it becomes a combination of the two vital principles; biology and metaphysics. i am a stong beliver that neuro chemistry can explain from uncons drives (of sex and aggression) to simple learning of multiplication and algebra. how neuro transmitters work on different receptors and mold, at times change, synaptic functioning remains to be clearified. Eric Kendell has made some attempts to combine these two. his articles, psychoanalysis of a single cell (am j of psych, `80) & another article in april `98 are both worth reading. i hope saad continues to write and stimulate our neurotransmitters.

Manto versus Insha some how you tried to creat humor in comparing the two different styles in literature. i, after reading manto in detail and also playing/ directing manto` s stories donot see any competition b/w the two great writers. both belong to two seperate schools and were giants in their own stands. i fail to see humor in your style. but keep writnig.