Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective aicha

``and therefore the need of the hour... lobotomy en masse?!``

i thought u were for ``castration en masse``!! Any personal disadvantage u see in it? :)

Reforming the Armed Forces tahmed321# 27

Pakistan Army is demanding so much budget on th pretexct that geo-political conditions r bad for Pakistan. so they have many stakes in having a bad political environment around Pakistan. Once there is peace ppl will demand downsizing in army, and army`s position will be weak. So I dont think that army will ever make peace with India.

Look, before 1987 (expulsion of Russia from Afghanistan), no one knows Kashmir the way it is considered so `vital` now. It was a dead issue then. Pakistan army was involved in Siachen and other fields, and not taking much interest in Kashmir. Once the Russians were out of Afghanistan, and USA interests decrease in the region (and hence the dollars flow), army started supporting and inciting militant struggle in Kashmir.

Moreover, what Musharaf is doing is just a whitewash, a photo opportunity to calm down or appease USA (so that sanctions r repealed). Any civilian govt could do that. I have no sympathy for BB, but remember, what was done when her govt tried to patch up with Rajiv Gandhi in her fist stint in govt? Army was furious, and they did everything to paint her in bad colors.

The pak Army is mischievous, manipulative, and above all have double-standards. There is no use to expect anything from this meeting. Even if Kashmir`s warfront is closed, they will open a few more, like they tried in kargil.

Reforming the Armed Forces The writer, Mushahid Hussain, has been in the miltary detention for a long time. He is now `free`, after serving some military pusposes against his former boss Mr. Nawaz Sharif. We do not know what sort of treatment has been meted out to him, but the tone of this artcile suggests that all love is not lost between him and his former interrogators and captors.

Look at the what sort of military reforms he has suggested in his article. And after all such recommendations, he quickly added that military is doing what is needed :) For instance, the punjabi dominance in army. he says army is recruiting ppl from non-martial race too. the question is how come they realized this after 5 decades that they have been recruiting only from NWFP and Punjab? And then ``Hamoodur Rahman Commission Report`` case. It was all published even before army published it. And who knows what has not been published? The published report did not have anything new which ppl did not already know.

And look at the defaeatist attitude of the writer in this para:

``Like any institution in a status quo society, the Armed Forces badly need reforms as well. And in a country like Pakistan, only a military regime can undertake this task. A civilian government will, first of all, not be allowed to do it and even if it tried, it would be destabilised.``

He may call it realistic attitude, but the million dollar question is: how can we develop democratic insittutions and civilian order when an unelected and undemocratic institution constantly hangs a sword over the head of civilian govt? No democratic republic in this world has ever functioned like this.

The writer has also escaped the question of discussing downsizing military and making its finacial buddget transparent. Look at his statement:

``The second issue of reforming the armed forces is that of transparency in non-combat defence expenditure``

Well, that transparency is demanded in all form of expenditures in democratic countries. Even in Idia, any elected representative can ask for explanation, and it may be a closed door meeting, but accountabiloty of every penny is made. In Pakistan`s case, the annual budget usually has just two lines for defence budget.

It is high time that we all realize that the Pakistan needs a peaceful model like Japan. The era of invading and capturing countries has ended. There is no need to worry about India. Let the disuted territories be the case as China has handled Hong Kong, and still handling Taiwan (despite all the irritations from USA nad Taiwan). There is no need of 5.5 million army personnels in Pakistan. We do not need nukes either. Army is taking all the budget, and we have to go to IMF to beg for invstment in social sectors.

One thing that every person has to realize that what fraction of GDP is Pakistan expending on defence, and then compare it with India, and even with USA. Only a blind can say that Pakistan is NOT shooting in his feet.

And they say it is necessary for the survival. it will always be in the Army`s interests to create a war-like situation in the country and in the neighbourhood to justify the non-development expenditure that it cliams.

They will never make peace with India, they will never stop creating Frankestein monsters like Taliban around the wrold. Before 1987, they were involved in narcoitics trade when they were breast-fed by USA (because of Russsian involvement in Afghanistan). And now they are breast-fed by USA nd Europe because this rogue army has the nukes, and they r blackmailing the west for support for a non-democratic govt in pakistan.

Needless to say, the writer, Mushahid Hussain, has no credibility whatsoever. And by writing such a shameless pro-army artcile, he has shown that he is available for the next buyer in any auction. such is the state of journalism and civilian politics in pakistan.

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective aicha

i think we do not disgree on this, it is just some mis-readings that we both r doing with each other replies.

i didnt say that men generally do not classify women. i just said that if a man wants to write something like the write, then women can be classified too in 5 separate categories from bithiest ones to angels. But conscious attempts should be made NOT to generalise ppl along gender, ethinic, nationality lines. It just does not help anyone.

Regarding the comment about change in ppl. I doint mean that ppl do not chnage with time. they do, obviously. But ppl always have one face for starangers (what u call first impression) and other relaxed face (true face) with friends. This is natural defense in human beings. They feel relaxed only after some familiarity develops. For instance with strangers ppl always guard their space. In elevators, most ppl feel uneasy if it is a bit crowded. but if the same elevator is filled with longtime friedns or acquantances, then this uneasiness goes away. In both the cases, an `attack` or physical harm is remote possibility, but this is how human beings care about their defense. Just a human psychology thing. so u can not have a world in which there is no deifference b/w inner and outer faces of human beings. this gap is part of natural defense system.

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective aicha

i think i am being very realistic, and see the world as it is. And u r seeing the world as u want it to be. BIG DIFFERENCE.

Now, from ur actual life experience, find out one person, whom u have known for years, and he/she was exactly the same as u got the impression in the first meeting.

I am not just saying this thing against one group of women. The same arguments hold against men as well. Men can too generalize women in 5 or so categories, from bitchiest ones to angles. But what the use?

``the world is only as complicated as you make it to be !``.

I think no matter if u want to make this world very simple, it will remain just as complicated as it is. u gotta adapt urself, make room for others, and enjoy all social games.

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective aicha

OK, i lost the first impression touch! so it means that we can not talk further ? :)) This is all against which we were talking about, right?

u see, i have to see a place in this world, where ppl do not play games. we all play some social games, and having a veneer is such a common thing. This veneer is just for a defense purpose, and ppl pften throw it away when they feel comfortable with the opposite person. it however varies how long and to what extent a person loses this defense (veneer), but ppl do throw it away once they r OK with the opposite person.

So be it paki man or woman, a thick or thin veneer got to be there in the first meeting. what is necessary is that ppl talk.

A person who labels ppl in the first meeting, and then throw them away in the social garbage bag (just like the article`s writer) is then doing a BIG mistake. This is what I am talking about.

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective aicha

OK, i lost the first impression touch! so it means that we can not talk further ? :)) This is all against which we were talking about, right?

u see, i have to see a place in this world, where ppl do not play games. we all play some social games, and having a veneer is such a common thing. This veneer is just for a defense purpose, and ppl pften throw it away when they feel comfortable with the opposite person. it however varies how long and to what extent a person loses this defense (veneer), but ppl do throw it away once they r OK with the opposite person.

So be it paki man or woman, a thick or thin veneer got to be there in the first meeting. what is necessary is that ppl talk.

A person who labels ppl in the first meeting, and then throw them away in the social garbage bag (just like the article`s writer) is then doing a BIG mistake. This is what I am talking about.

Welcome to the Dark Side thanks man

my understanding of Arabic language is as pathetic as of Jay. but perhaps i am less xenophobiac, and tend to believe ``innocent until proven guilty``.

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective aicha

my aplogies if i sounded the one generalizing paki women folk. but i am not generalizing. However the case of `Erum Ahmed` sort of generalizes the fringe group of paki women who `think` every paki man around them is in categories 1-4, and do not go beyond that thinking. They never care to see what this person is all about beneath the veneer he has. They usually end up like Erum Ahmed. The same thing goes with paki men who think along the same lines about paki women.

my sympathasies go with Erum Ahmed.

The Cling Effect kiran

``I wonder if blasphemy is the psychological Viagara? Hmm``

Good, striking line!

well if blashemey is really a VIAGRA, then it is perhaps against the impotence of ur faith.

:) how is that?

Welcome to the Dark Side krashid:

``are u married?``

r u hitting at me? :P

or is it another way of asking `r u democrat?``

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective check out these two links. u will have an idea about the pyschosis in adulthood life of a paki girl in usa.

http://www.dispatch.com/news/news01/jan01/576319.html

and

http://libpub.dispatch.com/cgi-bin/documentv1?DBLIST=cd01&DOCNUM=2283&TERMV=5414

i wonder if she is the writer of this artcile????

Welcome to the Dark Side Jay

It is a very thin line between what u do out of social and economical pressure, and what is blatantly done by society in general. If some indian changes his name to suite the local taste, then it is obvioulsy under obvious pressure. Every `changed` indian feels deride of his fellow desi brothers who have not changed their names. They do not do this out of sheer willingness.

if u r assuming that I respect all Arabs then u r wrong. I know what u r talking about. And I quite agree with u that they feel superior to other muslims. And as long as they get a steady income from oil, they feel economically superior too.

But this name-changing has more to do with their social and religious culture. For instance, `Rehman` is the name of God, and Arabs dont want to call any person by this name alone. They call him `Abdul Rehman` (meaning son of Rehman. In Pakistan, ppl dont care, they call the person `Rehman`, because many perhaps dont even care that they r confusing God with this person. Arabic is not their languauge.

Listen, as I said earlier, if u want to bash Arabs and muslims for bigotry and retrogressive nature, there r milions of quite justified and obvious exapmles to do that, but what u have picked is just nothing more than `adaption to local taste`. u will find it virtually everywhere, in developed and underdeveloped countries.

PS: i will be called `Abdul Moeed` in Arab, because `Moeed` is the name of God. And to tell u the truth i dont care and mind. If someone thinks that they will confuse me with God by calling me Moeed, then let them call me Abdul Moeed. After all this name is Arabic, and not originated from India/pak. so they have some right over this name. I give them this right.

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective klutz

My reply# 108 is about how this envy turns into a psychosis in adult. All childhood passions are very significant for adult life. Any psycho-analysis of a person begins with his/her childhood experience. And that is y Freud took so much pain in concentrating childhood experiences, passions, and desires.

Look, i dunno, but no normal (i mean non-reactionary) man would like to be categorised in 1-4 categories. Even Ussama bin Ladin or Mulla Amir would like to be in the 5th category :) why? because the mutual gratification is important in relationships, especially if this is the only way to feel elevated and have high self-esteem. No man would like to have his woman feel that she might get a better deal somewhere else (and vice versa).

Nothing kinky, but after reading the artcile of this writer, every man would feel the irresistable desire to make the wrong done to this writer a right. Some may hurl abuse at her for generalising things, but atleast for a moment, they would like to be given an opportunity to show to her that `they` r not that bad. And here I conclude that this fake `penis envy` is used as a way to challenge menhood of men, with the ultimate desire of seducing them.

I think the write has been quite successful in recognizing this.

Welcome to the Dark Side Jay

There r perhaps a number of indians (more thna 70%?) in USA/Europe, who do not miss a second to change their names to something easy to pronounce. Some even make their names like `Chris`, `Jhonson`, ...No one objects, because it suits local taste.

Will u please take up this issue with ur fellow brothers?

Needless to say, Pakis also change their names.

Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective Eklavya

I always look for those pious amongst us who does not have this `shitty thing`.

And there is nothing wrong with those who envy it. After all if u beleive in the survival of the largest (sorry, fittest), then y not compete with others?? :)

What is wrong is that, if this envy is turning women to lesbos at best, and men-hating-and-eating machines at worst. In the first case, u can see the wastage of beautiful women (who cares about the rest?). In the second case, the temptaion of `inaccessible` is too much to resist, and ultimately, u get obsessed with trying to prove that u r worthwhile person (not in the top 4 categories of the writer). And this is why i feel that in order to produce this temptation in the menfolk, women are faking this `penis envy`. What is worst that after marriage, they fake orgasms. So it is all faking up !!!

Regarding whether I jave found any, man, there r so natural beautiful girls out there, who do not fake anything, what to talk about faking boobs, penis, and orgasms. I have been very fortunate.