Lesbians vs. Gays vs. Hinduism vs. Modernity? Farzana

I commend your boldness in taking up a thorny issue which somehow makes people insecure. It is always difficult to see the patterns one assumes as normal shaken up by alternative lifestyles and I am no different in that sense of overwhelming shock and fear. O my goodness, will heterosexual marriages be a thing of the past? will the safe sturdiness of family a man a woman and the kids disappear into singletons indulging in endless rounds of casual sex, gender regardless?? Are there no rules left in life to give order and predictability? No morals, no limits, no perfect family? Will we all be gay in a 100 years??

if it is of any use, people who have researched the gay issue say a few things that should reassure us:
1. Gaydom isnt catching; it is a tendency/a talent like hand eye coordination or depth perception.
2. The mind and the body have very subtle and unique connections. People feel sexual attraction both emotionally and physically. So people cant fall in love with one gender and have sex with another.
3. Gay people`s relationships survive against all odds in many many cases.
4. They suffer the same agonies of love that the rest of us do.

The interesting thing is that gay researchers are the ones who tend to put out research on gay lifestyles marriages and parenting. So we really dont have a totally objective yardstick assuming that our often dysfunctional heterosexuals are the yardstick.

I have little idea why people are so upset with you. wish you the best. The only thing that bothered me slightly were a few sweeping generalizations. I am guessing you have your observations to back you up.

SAJA Convention: Chowk Insights re:#10

Veeresh

No. People in the West tend to be politically correct and mostly the second generation young ones arent so clued into regional politics.

SAJA Convention: Chowk Insights re; #5 and #2:
Padma Lakshmi wore a pink evening dress.

Origins of Hijab Gill Sahib

Great read. Just a few days ago I read Naguib Mahfuz`s book, `Palace Walk` the first of the Cairo Trilogy and was moved by the wonderful depiction of the life of women in Islam. The hijab or purdah a central prop to the stage of male and female dynamics in the Islamic society. It was proof of a woman`s purity and muslim identity. I agree with what you say in your article. Here are three reasons women who wear Hijab have given to me at various times:
1. A symbol new immigrant women wear to reassure her husband that she is subordinate, will not assert her superiority in anyway, or rock the family boat.
2. Pride about one`s Muslim roots.
3. An obvious signal to the world that she is not interested in any advances. Great idea by the way...(In Canada, I met the heroine of the movie we were both acting in, who was as can be imagined a very beautiful and alluring woman. Outside the set, she wore a hijab. She told me she does it so that she always has a reminder to be guarded against temptation such as drink, drugs and men).

The Secularity of India Nader.
You did well to point out the paradox. Secular ideally, in a less polar environment wouldnt mean Hindu and Muslim. The very words would be irrelevant to politics or law. BUT
I disagree. It was a brave and difficult ideal in those times, with one community creating an entire different country. Yes their laws are seperate for each community. The Western model is different. It probably wasnt practical to poke at Muslim Laws in this charged atmosphere of partition. The fact is that it strives to be secular, in an environment where people are willing to kill anyone and anybody who is of a different religion, it is truly commendable. I hope that India never loses that ideal. As the Hindu identity becomes more and more secure, the path towards secularism will be more firmly entrenched. It remains to ordinary people always to change the political destinies of a nation. Writers poets, journalists, scientists, these are the intellectualls of a country. These people`s opinions, morals and biases are of great importance to the politics of a nation. The fact that there is a live, questioning media and middle class in India, that one observes with great interest, is truly a positive sign.

Western Civilization? A Very Good Idea Malyck

No other civilization other than the West, claims democracy and human rights as an ideal with a high earnestness. When Pakistani Muslims behave in less than approved ways, we criticize them for falling short of an ideal. It is the same with any critique of the West.

Panini

Like the comment about civilization being a process, a never achieved distant goal. Some events support the idea that yes we are civilized, others blow it out of the window. There are such contradictions in the West --some practices strike me as barbaric, others plain stupid and wasteful (packaging, child sex)--yet the roads are clean and people dont accept physical abuse as ok. Same with the East. Some practices have such nobility and show all that is best in humans, such as sacrifice for family, others are so barbaric--sati, goat sacrifice.

And Gandhi`s comment is so incredible, kind of sums it all up in one humorous quip.

Musharraf Will Die Shahid

Sometimes history doesnt repeat itself. Things truly change. Geo-political realities change. Otherwise the Berlin would never have come down, neither would Russia have disintegrated, nor South Africa stop apartheid nor Japan would have learnt to make cars but become another Beirut. Bush will stay Mush will stay, only we the people will change to accept reality. As for the zealots they will continue to make stupid bomb blasts and keep agitating for nothing but a little attention from the world. The zealots have no political ideology or struggle. They are just criminals who seek world attention. They know that too--Osama knows that he has nothing new to say, no new idea to give, no political statement. He is a cult and like all cults he and others like him will dissolve. The zealots as you name them will continue to operate from the safety of their comfort zone--suicide and bombs. Net achievement is that they change exactly nothing in world politics other than increasing the level of suspicion and distrust between races, nationalities and cultures--which is always a tender spot.

The shock that you are showing is rightly so. We are all aghast at the central role that Pakistan plays in this saga. To me the Wana situation redeems Pakistan. Our soldiers are not dying for some nebulous them but to protect humanity from criminals.

Thank you George vintage shandana--great work.

Bald Angel #16 sac

2/ I got a different impression. An essay written by Ismat Chughtai mentioned that he went to Bombay and or got involved in film scripts since they paid better and were appreciated. Manto thought that books were on their way out as a medium. Ismat mentions that he had a family and wanted to support them well.

also, dair aye durust aye. I think it is a good think that in a world which tends to view Islamic history or the cultural diaspora of the Indian Muslim to be about a bunch of cheerless super conservative fanatics, there is a thread of irreverance and outrageousness, that we the post generation liberals can appreciate. So it is the french moi must thank? never mind.

Resistance is the first step towards Iraqi independence Great article.

There seems to be a pattern to US interference that many conspiracists have also used in their arguments. It seems like Iraq will be another Afghanistan with displaced populations, ruined economies and complete lack of any kind of order. But I dont see Iraq as a failure for the USA just yet. USA will probably do anything and everything to control this insurgency. Learning to be colonial is not difficult. So yes, US is a colonial power now, the fine lines if they were ever more than rhetoric are getting more and more difficult to justify.

Toronto Talks in Whispers hey farzana!

Wish I had known u were visiting Canada--I live on the West coast. I love this country. I have developed an appreciate of canadian humour--that weird non joke joke. the gentleness, the earnest honesty and concern for the environment. Though the West coast is different from the East a little--people actually dress up in Toronto we think--the Canadian commitment to diversity is the same. Shy reserved, but unbelievably simple and caring people. Over the years I have lived here--I feel more and more a part of its incredible mix up of nationalities. I belong. Just because I am different. That is how Canada treats its immigrants. The whites are for the most part fascinated and interested in the other people--I see mixed relationships all the time--black white, yellow white, brown-white. Whites in shalwar kurtas, whites wearing mehndi and watching hindi movies in indian theatres. Whites addicted to Indian food--whites dating indians. They have very simple requirements, be nice, kind and polite. That is all. and hey dont forget to speak slllllooowwwly and clearly. A smile and a thank you goes a long way to disarm them.

Sikh turbans, indian saris, clothes, bindi have become part of the Canadian scene. And it is ok. The economy isnt great-a big frustration for so many people. But as a culture you can be very poor and still have a good life. As a nation they dont care about labels and arent self aggrandizing at all. But they have time and space for you. That makes up for a lot.

Gardens of Secularism and Soapboxes for Orators My simple reaction is wow!

I am delighted to meet a fellow egalitarian. (being normal passes for eccentricity these days). I am unable to understand the reliance on vehicles to engage in a normal life. It is normal to walk on the spaces of this earth--and engage in dialogue. The town square and the meeting ground that was a necessary part of public life has disappeared to become a trading ground or road. I echo your consternation: Must we buy in order to be?? It is shocking, outrageous and almost criminal that our engagement in public life is restricted to a purchasing transaction. Our dialogue with each other nil. Our sense of us, diminishing and waning like an old moon. Is there anyone who cares enough to change this? Anyone who can question 2 hour commutes to reach work. Or the lack of time that rules our life and its options like a slave master. In the 21st century the relative abundance of food should have freed us to pursue other more wonderful things but alas food is not food anymore. Is this the freedom that the industrial revolution purchased?

To Love or to Like? temporal;

interesting review. I guess the movie really targets the vulnerability men feel around male menopause--I wont go into all that. I watched it just 2 days ago.

But seriously, love can be a pretty confusing and humiliating state . And yes he did the right thing. She would have wrecked his life. and would not have been a suitable companion for a life time. Falling in love is one thing. Living with someone a different thing all together. One is a matter of the heart, the other is a commitment of the mind. It is distressing when love doesnt succeed, but the expectation that our attachments would mean commitment and a life together is naive.

love is like a fantasy world, you leave the boredom and mundanity behind to lead an alternative moment of madness. One can do that at any time anywhere, provided you find a suitable object of desire.

The New Generation of Pakistani Architects my humble question to all pakistanis. Is there anything that works there? anything we like? anything to admire? the constitution is crap, the institutions are crap. and what does each of us do to change that?

Muslim League’s Politics (1937-1947) Mantolives:

Excellent work. Outside the box. Way to go.

I agree, in sports a backswing is necessary for a good shot, same with humans, a positive, clear understanding of the past is necessary for any worthwhile attempt at a future. Reframe, Re-View and Recast the past so that it can help you carve a path out of the vicious cylce. That`s called learning from history and is also the process of creating knowledge.

Something to add to your reasoning: in my humble opinion, the history of inequality between the various religio-communities of India are behind the tragic fear and suspicion today and which drove politics to the need for seperation. If we are able to understand why we fight, we might be able to end it. I think that the way society was structured 200 years ago, led to a lot of suppressed suspicion between communities. Today, we reap the fruit of inequality and powerlessness in some versus the colossal power of others: the fruit is hatred. And yes we need to put it out there, talk about it, be courageous and bold about it and condemn it for what it did to all of us. And move on to a better future where we teach tolerance and respect for all to our children. Perhaps the greatest practical invention of the white man :)....after the pen?

regards
S

Bombs and Beards really liked your article--
it is true: fashions are indicative of cultural values. A clean shaven, gel slicked gent with a crisp shirt or t-shirt with trousers is the epitome of what is meant by `professional`, he commands trust like a freshly sealed package of medicine or food. `Consume, there are guarantees to protect you`, is the message. A beard. A beard is like a leaky coke can. Long-time it was the other way round. A man without hair on his face wasnt man enough. Not dignified enough, not strong enough, without a strong identity. And today, no hair commands respect and dignity. Why? I dont think it is just 9-11. 9-11 just epitomizes the shift in values from the masculine to the feminine (a pretty cliched way of putting it). Unshaven men are more palatable. Like a sandwich in a ziplock bag.